broken | shyland ✓

chapter fifteen

s h a n e

a/n: smut don't get too shook
song: medicine, harry styles

two months later, nothing had changed.

'what's the matter with you?' ryland asked concerned, grabbing my arm. i sighed, picking up the pace as i quickly turned round the corner. we were both currently walking down the school hallway, him trying to catch up with me as i strode far ahead.

i'd been feeling kind of strange, off-character, all day. spinning around, i looked at him with tired eyes. 'nothings wrong, ryland. i'm just sick of us sneaking around, it's getting irritating.'

despite hating to admit it, this whole thing was getting so irritating. it had been havoc, not telling anyone we were dating, and unbeknownst to us, luke had not told anyone, despite saying he knew we'd kissed. whenever i would try and do something couple-y with ryland, he would send me a look that made my cheeks go red in embarrassment.

'i know, it's just... why can't we stay like this?' he asked, sounding slightly exasperated. i sighed, walking out the door and onto the school fields. we were cutting through to get to the languages block quicker. ryland had italian, i had spanish.

i took a sharp intake of breath, fighting the urge to roll my eyes as my feet crunched against the dead autumn leaves beneath my feet. it was friday night; i was supposed to be happy and excited. garrett was throwing a huge party at his place since his mother was away in belgium for a business conference. since he was such a friendly person, a large group of the year - well, all the nice people anyway - would be going, and it didn't take much to convince my dad to let me take a few beers round. i think maybe fifteen or twenty people would be going.

i'd told a teeny white lie and said that it was just garrett, drew and i having a boys night in. it had worked, though; a six pack of desperados, the best type of beer which had tequila in, sat in my bedroom ready to take.

'it's so much work making sure i don't accidentally put my arm round you, or call you "babe". are you just embarrassed or something? it's not like one of us isn't out, everyone knows that i'm bi and you're gay, what's the issue?' i blurted, trying not to get angry. but still, i kept my voice calm and level.

little flecks of grass, freshly cut, began to stick on the soles of my timberlands, which i had paired with my usual black jeans and a grey sweater. the sky was a soft blue, dotted with clouds, a slight breeze blowing my auburn hair, which matched the leaves cascading around me.

'there's no issue, it's not like we're dating or anything!' he retorted, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his hoodie.

do. not. freak. out.

my heart fell out of my mouth. 'what?' i asked, my voice beginning to waver.

'well, i mean, we're not official. if it's getting so "irritating", we're not exclusive or anything.' ryland replied nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders as we reached the classrooms, before saying, 'i'll see you tonight.' with a low voice.

i leant against the brick wall outside once he was out of sight, catching my breath and pushing down any tears which threatened to surface. what did he mean, "it's not like we're dating"? what the fuck has the last ten weeks been? just casually seeing each other every single night to make out and end up sleeping next to each other, apparently.

a large sigh escaped my lips as i placed my belongings down in spanish, dan beaming up at me. 'hey, you look down, you okay?' he asked, smile faltering.

'i'm cool.' i lied with a fake smile, sitting down in the plastic chair, 'are you and phil coming to garrett's tonight?' i asked, pulling out my canary yellow spanish jotter as the teacher asked us to write the date and title.