Broken | 5sos

1

The security guard handed the backstage pass back to me before opening the door. I stepped inside and waited for a second before Mom joined me. Excitement coursed through my body, as I thought about seeing Ashton for the first time in months.

The long hallways of the venue looked just as they had a few months ago when we visited Ashton in his dressing room for the first time. That day nerves had consumed me, as I thought of every way the day could go wrong. The security guard could have ripped the pass out of my hands and demanded I left. I could definitely make a fool out of myself in front of Luke. But somehow, I'd made it, barely saying a word to anybody except Ash.

I breathed a sigh of relief as we came to the dressing rooms. Laughter rose from behind the doors marked for Calum and Michael, but Luke and Ashton's were silent. Mom glanced at me, putting a finger to her mouth before opening the door to Ashton's room. I held in my giggle as Mom snuck over to Ashton who had his back to us as he typed on his phone.

Mom's hands hovered above Ashton's shoulders. "Boo!"

He jumped before turning around, his mouth wide open in surprise, but the look quickly transformed into a smile as he wrapped Mom into his arms.

"I hate you," he murmured, resting his forehead on her shoulder.

After a moment, they separated, and his eyes immediately found me, his mouth quirking into a half-smirk.

"Hey, Laney," he said.

"You know I go by Lane now, right?" But the irritation was fleeting. Ashton could call me anything and I wouldn't mind.

"You'll always be Laney to me," he said before stepping forward and engulfing me in his arms. I breathed deeply for a few seconds, taking in the scent of my brother, the scent I knew so well.

"I've missed you so much," I murmured, trying to savor the warmth of his strong arms, but it was over too soon as he pulled back from me. Ash smiled, eyes crinkling in the same way they always did, for as long as I could remember. But his hair was different, a little fluffier, a little longer. He had changed, but everything was still so familiar, so much like the brother I knew. He hadn't changed so much to stop hugging me, to realize that it wasn't cool to be best friends with your little sister. It was something I feared, however irrational. It had always been Ashton and I. Hopefully that wouldn't change.

Ash ran a hand through his hair. "I have something for you."

"Really?" It was impossible to hide my excitement. Ash was well-known for giving amazing presents, whether it was a rare shell from a beach they walked on at midnight, or a handmade bracelet from Spain, they were guaranteed to be special in one way or another.

Ashton nodded. "Close your eyes."

I did as he said. A few seconds passed before coldness touched my neck and I shivered, imagining a metal necklace. Ash knew I loved stuff like that. It gave my hands something to do when I got anxious. Even now, bracelets climbed up my arms in case the feelings got too overwhelming.

"Okay."

I opened my eyes, hands instantly going to the thin silver chain now around my neck. At the end was an anchor charm, wrapped in rope. It reminded me of something I would see at a souvenir shop along the beach.

"Do you like it?" Ash asked. I glanced away from my necklace for a second. "It's from Charlotte and I thought you'd like it since I know you love America, but maybe-"

I cut him off before he could begin rambling like he did when he was nervous. "It's fine, Ash. I love it."

His eyes flicked back at Mom, who stood in the corner, gaze locked on the cell phone in her hand. "I know you love the ocean, but the lady at the shop said anchors can also symbolize strength, and I know you need that a lot."