Don't look back

Nine

"Rick?" Mary whispered quietly when she woke up the next morning. She got no answer. "Rick? Carl? Lori? Rick?" She hissed.
"Mary?" Lori asked groggily, "What's wrong honey?"
"It's wake up time." She whispered shakily.
"What? What time is it?" She sighed.
"The clock is on five." Mary mumbled. Lori sighed, and sat up.
"Alright. Come on, you can have a shower." Lori replied. She took Mary into to the bathroom, then turned on the shower, and Mary stood under the lukewarm shower happily.
"Inside rain." She smiled happily. "It's magic."
Lori smiled softly at the four year old. She envied that she could see magic in tiny things in the harsh world she now called home.

"Are you hung over? Mum said you'd be." Carl grinned cheekily to Rick, as the small group ate a breakfast of eggs, Carl sat next to Lori, Mary on her knee.
"Mom is right." Rick groaned.
"Mom had that annoying habit." Lori smirked softly, and Mary turned around and smiled at her.
"Eggs. Powdered but I do them good," T-Dog smiled, putting some on Ricks plate, then Glenn's, "I bet you can't tell. Protein helps the hangover." He teased Glenn, as he moaned at his terrible hangover and Jacqui gently massaged his shoulders.
"Where did all this come from?" Rick asked.
"Jenner." Lori replied, throwing him a bottle of tablets.
Rick fumbled to open them, and failed. "Could you help me please?" He asked childishly, passing them back to Lori - and dropping them. Mary rushed to pick them up, then quickly opened them, examined the tablet, and then passed Rick two, then gave him some water, and went back to Lori.
"Mary? How could you get the child lock off? And know how many?" Lori asked in shock.
"My other daddy. Shh. He got mad if we spoke to much. I looked after him sometimes. Don't let Rick get mad. Be quiet." Mary whispered, fear in her voice.
Rick reached over, and pulled the little girl onto his lap. "I wouldn't get mad at you. It's not kind. Don't ever be scared of me, Mary. I'd never get mad, or hurt. So you make noise if you need to." Rick soothed into her ear.
"Don't ever ever ever let me drink again!" Glenn groaned, breaking their moment.
"Hey." Shane nodded to everyone as he came into the room.
"Hey. You feel as bad as I do?" Rick asked.
"Worse." Shane mumbled.
"The hell happened to you?" T-Dog asked, "Your neck?"
"Must have done it in my sleep." Shane shrugged.
"Never seen you do that before." Rick pointed out in confusion.
"Me neither. Not like me at all." Shane whispered, looking at Lori. Mary got up, and grabbed two tablets, and ran over to Shane, giving him them, and kissing his cheek, near his scratched neck, then running back to Rick, embarrassed. Rick hugged her and laughed as she hid her face into his shirt.
"Okay, let's stop the tablet game. You don't touch these, Mary, okay?" Lori said firmly, and Mary nodded, still hiding her face. Shane smiled at her softly, and took the tablets.
"Good morning." Jenner smiled, walking into the room.
"Hey doc." Rick replied.
"Doc, I don't mean to slam you with questions first thing..." Dale began.
"But you will anyway." Jenner interrupted.
"We didn't come here for the eggs."
"No. I suppose not." Jenner laughed softly. "Follow me."

"Give me a playback of TS nineteen." Jenner ordered as everyone stood around the big screen, Mary in Rick's arms, Carl holding his hand, Lori beside them.
"Playback of TS nineteen." Vi repeated.
"Few people ever got a chance to see this. Very few."
"Is that a brain?" Carl asked, his eyes wide. "Cool, right Mary?" He grinned, but Mary just looked freaked out.
"An extraordinary one. Not that it matters in the end. Take us in for EIV." Jenner nodded slowly.
"Enhanced internal view." Vi barked.
"What are those lights?" Shane asked, as the brain lit up with flickering lights.
"It's a persons life. Experiences, memories, it's everything. Somewhere in all that organic wiring, all those ripples of light, is you the thing that makes you unique and human." Jenner breathed, entranced by the video.
Daryl scoffed. "You don't make sense, ever?"
"Those are synapses, electrical impulses in the brain that carry all the messages. They determine everything a person says does or thinks from the moment of birth... To the moment of death."
"Death? That's what this is, a vigil?" Rick asked, taken back.
"What's a vigil?" Mary asked, not getting an answer.
"Yes. Or rather the playback of the vigil."
"This person died? Who?" Andrea enquired.
"Test subject nineteen. Someone who was bitten and infected and volunteered to have us record the process. Vi scan forward to the first event."
"Scanning to first event."
"What is that?" Glenn asked, as the brain began to turn black.
"It invades the brain like meningitis. The adrenal glands haemorrhage. The brain goes into shutdown then the major organs. Then death. Everything you ever were or ever will be gone."
"Is that what happened to Jim?" Sophia asked in a tiny voice, and Mary began to cry softly.
"Yes." Carol said emotionlessly.
Andrea backed away, looking as though she was going to cry. "She lost somebody two days ago. Her sister." Lori explained softly.
"I lost somebody too. I know how devastating it is. Scan to the second event."
"Scanning to second event."
"The resurrection times vary wildly. We have reports of it happening in as little as three minutes. The longest we heard of was eight hours. In the case of this patient it was two hours one minutes seven seconds." Jenner recited, his voice strange and precise.
"It restarts the brain?"
"No, just the brain stem. Basically it gets them up and moving."
"But they're not alive?" Rick asked.
"You tell me."
"Yes." Mary whispered.
"It's nothing like before. Most of that brain is dark." Rick replied, ignoring Mary.
"Dark, lifeless, dead. The frontal lobe, the neocortex, the human part, that doesn't come back. The You part. Just a shell driven by mindless instinct."
"God! What was that?" Carol asked as the screen became still.
"He shot his patient in the head," Andrea whispered, "didn't you?"
"Vi power down the main screen and the workstations." Jenner ordered, ignoring Andrea.
"Doctors shoot people?" Mary asked fearfully.
"Sometimes everyone has to shoot someone. By someone, I mean Walkers, Mary. You might have to one day. It's you or them."
"Powering down main screen and workstations."
"You have no idea what it is, do you?" Andrea snapped.
"It could be microbial, viral, parasitic, fungal." Jenner sighed.
"Or the wrath of God." Jacqui offered.
"There is that." Jenner nodded.
"Somebody must know something. Somebody, somewhere!" Andrea insisted.
"There are others, right? Other facilities?" Carol asked.
"There may be some. People like me."
"But you don't know? How can you not know." Ruck hissed angrily.
"Everything went down. Communications directives, all of it. I've been in the dark for almost a month." Jenner sighed.
"So it's not just here? There's nothing left anywhere! Nothing. That's what you're really saying right. Jesus!" Andrea panicked.
"Man, I'm gonna get shit faced drunk again." Daryl shouted.
"What's shit faced?" Mary asked innocently.
"Mary. Just... Later. Okay?" Rick sighed.
"Doctor Jenner," Dale began, "I know this has been taxing for you, and I hate to ask one more question. But that clock, it's counting down. What happens at zero?"
"The basement generators. They run out of fuel." Jenner shrugged, but he seemed on edge.
"And then? Vi what happens when the power runs out." Rick asked loudly.
"When the power runs out, facility wide decontamination will occur." Vi barked.
Shane and Rick looked at each other in panic. "Here. Stay here. With Lori!" Rick ordered, putting Mary down, and rushing off.
"Lori?" Mary cried shakily, "Lori, what's decomuniation?"
"Contamination, baby. Nothing. It doesn't matter. Don't worry. Rick'll fix it. He always does, doesn't he?" Lori smiled softly, hiding her fear.
"He always does, Mary. It's okay." Carl assured.
"Let's go... Let's go practice your reading." Lori sighed, picking Mary up, and walking away, holding Carl's hand tightly.
"There. Read with Carl." Lori smiled gently as they got into their room, passing Mary a book from the rec room, and Carl read to her, his voice shaky. Slowly, Lori began to get their things together, then an annoying background noise ended. Lori walked to the centre of the room, and ran her hand under the air vent.
"Mom? Something wrong?" Carl asked gently.
"Nothing. It's just... The air conditioning stopped." Lori replied. Then the lights cut out, and Mary began to sob.
"It's okay. It's okay, Mary. Just a power cut." Carl soothed gently.
Lori looked outside, and saw Jenner walking down the corridor, everyone coming out of their rooms.
"Why's the air off? And the lights in our room?" Carol asked shakily.
"Yeah, what's goin' on? Why's everything turned off?" Daryl asked, a bottle of spirits in his hand.
Jenner plucked it out of his dirty paw, and took a swig. "Energy use is being prioritised."
"Air isn't a priority? And lights?" Dale questioned.
"It's not up to me. Zone five is shutting itself down." Jenner shrugged, taking another drink.
"Hey. Hey, what the hell does that mean?" Daryl snapped, "Hey man, I'm talkin' to you! What do you mean, it's shutting itself down? How can a building do anything?"
"You'd be surprised." Jenner shrugged, as they walked into the main room.
"Rick?" Lori asked, and he, Shane, and Glenn ran into the room.
"Jenner, what's happening?" Rick asked sharply.
"The system is dropping all nonessential uses of power. It's designed to keep the computers running, until the last possible second. It starts as we approach that half hour mark. Right on schedule." Jenner explained. Then he said softly, "It was the French."
"What?" Andrea asked in confusion.
"They were the last ones to hold out, as far as I know. While out people were bolting up the doors and committing suicide in the hallways, they stayed in the labs until the end. They thought they were close to a solution."
"What's suicide?" Mary asked Carl in a whisper, but Carl shook his head.
"Let dad tell you." He hissed back, his voice stressed and scared, yet gentle.
"What happened?" Jacqui questioned.
"Same thing that's happening here. No power grid. Ran out of juice. The world runs on fossil fuel! I mean how stupid is that?" Jenner chuckled softly.
"Let me tell you something!" Shane growled.
"To hell with this Shane! I don't even care. Lori, grab out things. Everybody, get your stuff. We're getting out of here. Now!" Rick yelled.
Then an alarm began to ring, and Vi's robotic voice said, "Thirty minutes to decontamination."
"Doc, what's going on here doc?" T-Dog panicked.
"Everybody, y'all heard Rick! Get your stuff and let's go. Go now!" Shane ordered.
"Let's go!" T-Dog repeated, then the doors suddenly shut, and Mary began to cry heavily, and Lori took Nary out of Carl's arms. 
"Did you just lock us in? He just locked us in!" Glenn panicked, making Mary cry even more.
"We've hit the thirty minute window. I am recording." Jenner said to a computer.
"Mom!" Carl whined panicky, beginning to cry, as Rick tried to open the door, alongside Glenn.
"You son of a bitch." Daryl screamed.
"Shane!" Rick warned.
"You locked us in here!" Daryl yelled, lunging for the doctor.
"No, no, no, no, no, don't!" Shane shouted, pulling Daryl back.
Don't," T-Dog pleaded, helping hold Daryl back, "don't do it!"
"Jenner, open that door now!" Rick shouted.
"There's no point. Everything top side is locked down. The emergency exits are sealed." Jenner said calmly.
"Well open the damn things!" Dale yelled.
"That's not something I control, the computers do. I told you, once that front door closed,it wouldn't open again! You heard me say that. It's better this way!" Jenner shouted.
"What is," Rick asked, "what happens in twenty eight minutes? What happens in twenty eight minutes?"
"You know that this place is? We protected the public from very nasty stuff! Weaponised smallpox! Ebola strains that could wipe out half the country! Stuff you don't want getting out, EVER. In the event of a catastrophic power failure, and a terrorist attack, for example HITs are deployed to prevent any organisms from getting out." Jenner screamed.
"HITs?" Rick demanded.
"Vi, find."
"HITs. High impulse thermobaric fuel air explosives. Consist of a two stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast. Wave of significantly greater power and duration than any other known explosive except nuclear. The vacuum pressure effect ignited the oxygen between five thousand and six thousand degrees, and is useful when the greatest loss of life and damage to structures is desired."
Everyone was crying. Broken. Hopeless. Dead.
"It sets the air on fire." Jenner whispered, content. "No pain. An end to sorrow grief regret. Everything."
"Lori? Are we gonna die?" Mary sobbed, as Lori sat down, holding the two children close. Lori didn't answer. Rick came over, and held all three of them close, kissing their heads.
"But Jim said me and Carl would make it." Mary cried.
"You will," Rick whispered, "I'll get us out of this."
"Open the damn door!" Daryl screamed.
"Out of my way!" Shane shouted, as e ran at the door with an axe, and the two men began to pound at the door with the blades.
"You should have left well enough alone. It would have been so much easier." Jenner sighed.
"Easier for who?" Lori snapped.
"All of you. You know what's out there. A short brutal life and an agonising death. Your... Your sister," Jenner said to Andrea, "what was her name?"
"Amy." Andrea breathed.
"Amy. You know what this does. You've seen it. Is that really what you want for your wife? Your son, your baby girl?" Jenner asked Rick.
"I don't. Want. This!" Rick hissed angrily.
"I can't make a dent!" Shane announced, angry and determined still.
"Those doors are designed to withstand a rocket launcher." Jenner said in a matter of fact voice.
"Well your head ain't!" Daryl screamed.
"Back up!" Rick yelled, holding the man back.
"You do want this," Jenner explained to Rick, "last night, you said, you said you know it was just a matter of time before everybody you loved was dead."
"What, you really said that, after all your big talk?"
"I had to keep hope alive, didn't it?" Rick retorted.
"You think we'll die?" Mary asked through her tears. Rick couldn't answer her this time.
"There is no hope. There never was." Jenner shrugged.
"There's always hope. Maybe it won't be you. Maybe not here. But somebody, somewhere." Rick began.
"What part of everything gone do you not understand?" Andrea interrupted, making Carl and Mary cry even more.
"Listen to your friend. She gets it. This is what takes us down. This is our extinction event."
"Like the dinosaurs?" Carl whispered through his tears to his mother. Lori looked at him, held his face in her two hands, and nodded slowly.
"I won't lie. Yes."
"This isn't right. You can't just keep us here!" Carol sobbed.
"One tiny moment - a millisecond. No pain." Jenner persuaded.
"My daughter doesn't deserve to die like this!"
"Wouldn't it be kinder, more compassionate, to just hold your loved ones and wait for the clock to run down?"
Shane walked over, clicking his gun. "Hey." Ruck warned.
"Get out of my way, Rick. Get out of my way! Open that door, or I'm going to blow your head off. Do you hear me?" Shane roared.
"No!" Mary screamed.
"Brother, brother! This is not the way! You do this, we will never get out of here."
"Shane, you listen to him." Lori warned, getting herself, Carl and Mary up, moving away from the unstable man.
"When he dies, we all... We all die." Rick hissed.
Shane screams in Jenner's face, and Mary howled just as loud.
"Shane!" Rick yelled, and Shane turned the gun away from Jenner's face, and onto the computers, shooting the screens out of them.
"Shane!" Rick shouted, holding a gun to his partners face, "You done now? You done!"
"Yeah, I guess we all are." Shane spat.
Rick gave the gun to T-Dog, and walked over to Jenner. "I think you're lying."
"What?"
"You're lying about no hope. If that were true, you'd have bolted with the rest and taken the easy way out. You didn't. You choose the hard path. Why?"
"It doesn't matter."
"It does matter. It always matters. You stayed when other ran. Why?"
"Not because I wanted to. I made a promise to her," Jenner cried softly, pointing to the big screen, "my wife."
"Vi?" Mary asked confused.
Lori shook her head at Mary. "Test subject nineteen was your wife." Lori nodded slowly.
"She begged me to keep going as long as I could. How could I say no? She was dying. It should have been me on that table. I wouldn't have mattered to anybody. She... She was a loss to the world! Hell, she ran this place! I just worked here. In our field she was an Einstein! Me, I'm just Edwin Jenner. She could have done something about this. Not me."
"Your wife didn't have a choice. You do. That's that's all we want. A choice, a chance." Rick begged. Jenner was silent. "Why did you let us in?"
Jenner sighed. Then me made eye contact with Mary.
"Because of your little girl. I couldn't leave her out there."
"Well, I made her a promise too. Her and my son and my wife. I promised them that they'll get out of this alive. You got to keep your promise. Let me keep mine."
"Let us keep trying, as long as we can."
"I told you, top side is locked down. I can't open those." Jenner sighed. Then everyone went quiet, and he pressed a key pad.
The doors slowly opened. "Come on!" Daryl shouted.
"Come on, let's go!" Glenn urged frantically.
"Move it, move it, move it!" T-Dog yelled. 
"There's your chance. Take it." Jenner nodded to Rick.
"I'm grateful." Rick replied softly.
"The day will come when you won't be." Jenner replied. Then he pulled Rick over, and whispered in his ear.
Glenn steppes forwards, and scooped Mary up: she was just stood there, crying. "Hey we got four minutes left. Come on!" Glenn hissed to Rick. Then they ran, and ran, and ran.
"Shoot the doors open. Come on!" Shane instructed.
"Does it work?" Glenn asked, running over to try the keypad, Mary clinging to him.
"Try, try!" T-Dog insisted, but it didn't work. He walked away, then shouted, "Look out!", running over with a chair.
"Dog, get down get down!" Shane screamed, shooting at the window, but hardly making a dint. "Jesus!"
"The glass won't break?" Sophia cried softly.
"Rick, I have something that might help." Carol said quickly.
"Carol, I don't think a nail file's going to do it." Shane snapped.
"No," she said, going in her bag, "your first morning at camp, when I washed your uniform? I found this in your pocket." She explained, pulling out a grenade.
"What's that?" Mary sobbed.
"Our ticket to freedom." Glenn smiled gently. Rick nodded, and ran over. "Just don't move, okay?" Glenn instructed, as Mary laid down, and Glenn shielded her with his own body.
"Look out. Oh shit! Get down!" Rick yelled, running away from the window. Then there was an explosion, and the glass broke.
Everyone ran out, Shane shooting Walkers. Mary lagged behind, and when she fell, no one noticed, until everyone except Daryl was in a car.
"Damn kid gonna get me killed!" He hissed, running over, and scooping her up, then carrying her into his car, running for his life: they only just got to safety before the building blew up, making Mary sob, as Daryl held her tightly into his chest in the safety of the car.
Suddenly, Dale and Andrea appeared from behind sandbags, and got in the RV. Rick wound down the window, and screamed, "Who has Mary?! Who has Mary?"
"I do!" Daryl replied, "she's fine. Let's go! She can ride with me!"
"We stop in ten! Everyone, drive safe!" Rick yelled. Then they left, but the RV didn't speed up until Rick made sure he saw Mary's mucky little face next to Daryl.