Don't look back

Fifty five

"Daddy?" Mary whispered that night, by her father's cell door, the bunny teddy that Carl got her in one hand, Me Cuddles in the other.
"Yeah baby girl?" Rick mumbled groggily, looking up at her from under his covers.
"Can I sleep in here? Please?" She begged.
Rick sighed. He was conflicted; on one hand he wanted to let Mary stay with him and get a good night sleep and feel safe. On the other hand, he knew that if he constantly let her sleep in his bed, she'd never sleep alone. She seemed to be getting worse with her sleeping; she would only sleep properly if she was in Rick's arms, sometimes Carl's. If she was alone at night, she wet the bed and her nightmares were worse, but when she was with Rick, she only had a few night terrors.
So she only slept alone maybe twice a week now.
"Yeah. Okay." Rick sighed, and Mary crawled into him arms. "Sweetie, you gotta start sleeping in your own bed. You're a big girl."
"I'm a little girl." Mary insisted, nestling her head into his bare chest.
"Okay," Rick laughed sleepily, "come on. Sleep time now."
"Talk time." Mary insisted sleepily.
Rick smiled and kissed the top of her head. "It's real good that you made friends with Tommy. I'm proud of you."
"Really?" Mary smiled hopefully.
"Yes. You're my amazing amazing baby girl, and I'm so so proud of you. I am so proud of you. You're such a grown up, and so brave and amazing."
"You're brave." Mary nodded.
"I must get it from you." He smiled back.
"Daddy, I'm not scared, but... What if... Daddy, what if one day you die?" Mary asked quietly.
"I won't. Not until you're a grown up," Rick said firmly, "but even if I do, even if I die, you'll be safe. Okay? Maggie and Glenn would look after you. And Carl. Carl loves you. He'd never let anything bad happen to you."
"He promised he'll look after me forever and ever." Mary nodded.
"He will. Mary Grimes, you're gonna make it even if it kill me. You and Carl and Judith."
"What do you think will happen? Will the people in charge save us? The president?" Mary asked with wide eyes.
"I think it's down to us to make it right now. Places like here will be the future. These places turn into towns. Cities. Cities make friends, yeah? Then we all get united. That means all together."
"You think there's other groups? Other people like us?"
"Yeah. I know it." Rick nodded.
"Do you think that we'll stay together?" She whispered, her eyes closed, thumb in her mouth.
"Yeah. Don't you worry, I know what you're thinking. Maggie won't leave you. Or Glenn. We're all family."
"We love each other." Mary nodded with a groggy smile. "But you love me and Carl and Judith most?"
"Yes. Listen, I'll never, ever, ever, love anyone more than you three. You're my kids. My babies." He joked softly.
"What if you fell in love?" Mary whispered.
"I'd still love you most. I promise."
"But you said I was your only princess," Mary whined, "and now you have Judith!"
"Okay. You're my princess, and Judith is my... My fairy." Rick joked.
"Daddy." Mary cried softly.
"Come on. Go to sleep now." Rick soothed.
"I don't like sleep. I have bad dreams."
"Yeah, but I've got you safe. Okay? Sleep now, and we can play tomorrow."
"With you?" Mary asked hopefully.
"Yep." Rick smiled, and Mary grinned widely.
"I love you daddy." Mary whispered.
"I love you too." He smiled back, kissing the top of her head again. She fell asleep in an instant, safe curled up in her father's arms.

"Yer turnin' into yer brother." Daryl teased as Mary sat outside the next morning with everyone else in her pyjamas, only just awake, eating a breakfast of cereal and warm almond milk, the taste hated by Mary, but it had a long shelf life and was healthy, so Rick made sure her and Carl had some.
"What?" Mary mumbled, Carl's arm over her tiny shoulders.
"Sleepin' in instead of huntin' with me." He joked, taking Carl's sheriff hat off from her head, and ruffling her messy hair.
"I sleep bad." Mary explained sadly. Daryl smiled at her, then took a cheerio out of her plastic bowl, dropped the hat onto her head, and walked over to Carol.
"Hey, Carl, are you two gonna come to Carol's story time today?" An older boy, Patrick, asked hopefully.
"No. Mary might." Carl scoffed.
"I know it's for little kids. Just... Better than nothing." Patrick nodded in self defence. "I could take Mary." He offered.
Mary cuddled even tighter into Carl's side, and shook her head. "Nah. She likes staying with me." Carl smiled sympathetically.
"Okay." Patrick shrugged nonchalantly.
"Moo, eat your breakfast. You've not even had half." Carl lectured. Mary smiled at how Glenn's nickname fro her had caught on, then pulled a face.
"I'm full."
"No you're not. We all know you don't have enough to eat. None of us have enough to make us full."
"I can't eat, I feel sick."
"Like you're gonna throw up?" Carl worried. He knew that Mary didn't get sick often, but when she did, she got very sick.
"A bit. I can't eat. I'm okay though." Mary nodded.
"Okay," Carl smiled softly, "You mind if I eat it?"
"It's okay." Mary replied, and Carl smiled at her, then finished eating her cereal.
"Hey Mary, you gonna come play?" Tommy asked, running over with a smile.
"She feels a bit sick." Carl said to the child gently.
"I feel better now. It's just eating." Mary shrugged, getting up and running off with Tommy, playing tag. Carl sighed, and went over to Rick.
"She won't eat. Again." He explained quietly.
"Nothing?" Rick asked with a concerned sigh, putting a hand on Carl's shoulder.
"She only ate half."
"I don't know what's goin' on with her. Not eating properly, not sleeping. Similar to when your mom... I just don't understand what's happening with her. It's like she's getting worse, not better."
"She'll be okay," Carl nodded firmly, "she's playing."
"She's a fragile little kid." Rick said gently, stroking the bottom of Carl's jaw bone with his thumb once, then ruffling his hair. "Come on. Gotta feed the pigs and water the crops."
"Dad. Do you think she's okay? Or do you think she might, I dunno, have something wrong with her?" Carl asked.
"Does it matter either way?" Rick shrugged. "She's fine. She's happy." Carl raised his eyebrows, then walked over to tend to the pigs, trying to stop worrying about his little sister. He just couldn't though.

"Daddy! Look at my nails!" Mary grinned, fanning out her fingers in his face, showing him her purple and orange nails on alternate fingers. "It's the ones Maggie got me for my birthday! She did mine, then Tommy's!" She giggled.
"Wow, they are so pretty." Rick smiled, as the two children beamed.
"Can I do yours?" Mary begged.
"Sure." Rick shrugged, so Mary ran to get the nail polish, and she (very messily) painted his right hand in purple, while Tommy (even messier) painted his left hand in orange.
"Nice." Carl smirked as he walked past, looking down at him.
"I know right." Rick laughed, then he leaned forwards to the two children and whispered, "Go find Uncle Daryl and do his nails."
Mary giggled, then got up and ran over to find the man. He was having a nap, she discovered, so comically put her finger to her lips, making Tommy giggled. Then she began to paint his nails (and half of his finger), and they ran away before he could wake up.
"Trouble makers." Rick teased, grabbing Mary and tickling her sides, so her tiny body creased up in laugher.
"You said to!" She giggled.
"Maybe. Do you have a witness?" Rick challenged teasingly.
"Me!" Tommy laughed.
"And are you on my side?" Rick asked with a smile.
"Nope!" Tommy teased, then Rick began to tickle him, until he said yes.
"Ah. No witness now, Miss Mary Grimes." Rick teased.
"Uncle Daryl won't get mad at me." Mary shrugged whilst laughing.
"No, he's another person in this group wrapped around your little finger." Rick teased, "And he doesn't like people. But he likes you."
Mary grinned at this comment. "I'm cute!"
"You definitely are." Rick chuckled.
"I'm gonna do Carl's nails." Mary smiled, running over to her brother with Tommy by his side. "Can I paint your nails Carlie?"
"No." Carl replied quickly.
"Why not?" Mary pouted.
"'Cos that's for girls. Go do Beth's nails."
"She's with her boyfriend." Mary said in a teasing voice. "Zach."
"So do Maggie's." Carl shrugged.
"Carl," Mary whined softly, "why won't you play?"
"God, Mary, I just don't want my nails painting, okay?" He snapped, before walking away. Mary looked at Tommy, her forehead wrinkled in sadness, but it fell when Rick came over.
"Did Carl just shout at you?" He asked firmly, and Mary nodded. Rick sighed, and followed Carl. "Why did you snap at Mary?"
"She was being annoying. Dad, I was just saying I didn't want my nails painted." Carl argued.
"You've upset her. Okay? You could have just played along, she's only little, she doesn't understand."
"I didn't want to. She can't get her own way all the time." Carl sighed, running a hand through his hair.
"Okay," Rick snapped impatiently, "you leave the parenting to me. Don't play with her? That's fine. But don't be rude. It's not fair. I know you're going through a hard time still, and growing up isn't easy, but don't take it out on her. Okay?"
"Fine." Carl mumbled, storming off. Rick sighed, then went back to Mary and Tommy.
"Okay. Come on you two, there's chores to be done." He ordered, taking each of their hands and leading them away with a sigh, but after a few steps, Mary was running around, doing cartwheels, and singing to herself.