Don't look back

Thirty nine

That night, Mary slept fretfully, and wet the bed yet again. When Maggie was washing the child, her pyjamas, and sheets, Hershel walked over.
"Dad?" Maggie asked softly, "Is this normal?"
"Bed wetting? Yeah. She's a kid who's gone through a series of horrific events. PTSD. Anxiety. Grief. She's got them all." Hershel nodded sadly.
"PTSD?"
"Living in this world, losing her mom, and everything that happened at Woodbury. And now what's happening with Rick... It's too much for a toddler."
Maggie looked at Mary, who was sat on the concrete floor in one of Carl's shirts, and a pair of leggings. Her hair was wet, and her face, right arm, and right hip and thigh were bruised terribly. She was staring at nothing, holding her stuffed monkey to her chest.
"She's so broken." Maggie whispered.
Hershel patted the woman's shoulder. "As long as you're there for her, she'll feel like she belongs. She's lost her mother, and half lost her father. She needs you."
Maggie nodded, and walked over to Mary. "Come on, Mary. Let's go wake up your daddy." Mary looked at her and began to cry. "What's wrong?" Maggie asked softly, picking Mary up.
"Daddy is nasty now." Mary sobbed shakily.
"No, no. No way. I promise. Your daddy is a good man, and he loves you. But he's very very sad. Because mommy died. It's making him feel sick. Because he's so sad." Maggie explained softly.
"Shall I sit next to him and hold his hand?" Mary asked through her teary eyes, "That's what daddy does when I feel sick."
"I'm sure he'll love that." Maggie nodded. They went into the prison, and as Maggie made breakfast, Mary went and sat on the side of Rick's bed. She sat there, slightly on edge, and holding his hand as he slept, then patted his cheek softly.
"Hmmm? What is it baby?" Rick asked groggily.
"I gotta question. Are you feeling too sad now, or okay to answer it?"
Rick opened his eyes fully, and looked at his daughter with love in his eyes. "What's the question?"
"Carol died and came back to life. Could mommy?" Mary asked, almost nervous.
Rick sat up, and pulled her onto his lap, hugging her tightly. "Carol was never dead, princess. We just though she was. People don't die and come back as people. Never." Rick explained softly. He felt hope fall from Mary's tiny body, and his heart sank a little alongside hers. "This is really hard on you, isn't it?" He asked in a whisper, and Mary nodded.
Rick span her around, and made her look him in the eyes. "Did the nasty man hurt you? What happened when you was at Woodbury?"
"He grabbed my arms and pulled me around a lot. And he held a gun at my head too. And said that if I didn't tell him where we live, you wouldn't love me anymore. And that he's gonna cut of your hand."
Rick was furious, and held her tightly. "I'll always love you. Ignore that dumbass. And he'll not hurt me." Rick said firmly.
Mary nodded, and Carol called them for breakfast. Everyone talking through the meal, but Rick ate in silence, his eyes darting around the room nervously, and Mary was quiet, barely uttering a word. After he was done, Rick got up and left wordlessly, closing the door behind him before Mary could follow him.
As soon as Rick had gone, the crying child ran to Maggie, and the woman held her, the two of them tired and heart broken.

"Now you said you found Tyreese's group here?" Glenn asked Carl, drawing on the floor with chalk.
"Yeah." Carl nodded, Mary sat in between his legs, drawing on the floor, Carl's arms wrapped around her.
"We secured this." Glenn sighed in confusion.
"Well he, he though he came through here." Carl explained, reaching over Mary and pointing at the map on the floor.
"That means that there's another breach. Okay. Now, the whole front of the prison is insecure. If Walkers just strolled in, then it's gonna be cake for a group of armed men." Glenn sighed stressfully.
"Daddy?" Mary whispered to Carl, looking up at him.
"D-A-D-D-Y." Carl replied softly, and Mary wrote out the letters. Michonne looked over at the drawing, and raised her eyebrows in shock when she saw the drawing - a badly drawn man, holding something that looked like a gun, surrounded by other people, or maybe Walkers, some dead on the floor. It was a badly drawn yet disturbing picture, especially for a four year old to draw.
"Why are we even so sure he's going to attack? Maybe you scared him off?" Beth suggested hopefully.
"He had fish tanks full of heads. Walkers and humans. Trophies. He's coming." Michonne said nonchalantly.
"We should hit him now." Glenn decided.
"What?" Beth exclaimed in shock.
"He won't be expecting it. We'll sneak back in, and put a bullet in his head." Glenn nodded.
"We're not assassins!" Carol snapped.
Glenn got up, and walked over to Michonne. Mary watched him, then drew a woman with dreadlocks. "You know where his apartment is. You and I could end this tonight." Glenn whispered, and Michonne sighed. "I'll do it myself. Okay!" Glenn hissed.
"He didn't know you were coming last time, and look what happened. You were almost killed. Daryl was captured. And you, Maggie, and Mary were almost executed!" Hershel argued.
"You can't stop me." Glenn shrugged.
"Rick would never allow this!"
"You really think he's in any position to make that choice?" The young man snapped harshly.
"Think this through clearly. T-Dog lost his life here. Lori too. The men that were here. It isn't worth anymore killing. What are we waiting for? If he's really in his way, we should be out of here by now." Hershel attempted, but Glenn just seemed even angrier.
"And go where!"
"We lived on the road all winter." Hershel shrugged.
"Back when you had two legs and we didn't have Mary traumatised and screaming, and a baby crying for Walkers every four hours!"
"We can't stay here!"
"We can't run!" Glenn hissed, and Maggie walked out. Mary looked at her in worry, and leapt up, following her. The woman was laid in bed, facing the wall, tears streaming down her face.
"Maggie?" Mary whispered gently, and Maggie turned over, looking at the tear stained child.
"Come here, honey." Maggie sighed, and Mary walked over, and laid next to Maggie.
"Maggie?" Mary repeated shakily, and the woman stroked her hair.
"What is it?"
"Are you gonna become my new mommy?" She asked in a tiny voice.
Maggie sighed, and sat up, leaning against the wall, Mary on her lap, looking up into her eyes. "Baby. You have a mommy, she's just not around anymore. But I'm not going to be your new mommy. If you got anyone like that, it would be a step-mommy."
"What's that?" Mary asked, slightly disappointed.
"It would be if your daddy fell in love again. If he got a girlfriend. They'd be like a mommy to you, but not really."
"Can't you be that?"
"No. Because I love Glenn."
"No, I love Glenn!" Mary protested, "I can marry Glenn, and you can marry daddy."
"No, baby." Maggie laughed softly, and Mary sighed unhappily.
"I miss my own mommy. And daddy." Mary mumbled.
"I know you do, Mary. I know."
"Do you think mommy can see me now?"
"Yeah. I think she's looking over you, and she will forever. She'll keep you safe from in Heaven." Maggie nodded gently.
"Will she look after uncle Daryl?"
"Yeah. Are you worried about him?" Maggie asked softly, and Mary nodded. "Your uncle Daryl is a strong man. He'll stay safe. And he loves you and Carl and Judith. I know we'll see him again. I know. So don't worry about him. He can look after himself just fine, and nothing will hurt him. He's too stubborn to let it."
Mary smiled slightly. "Yeah. I think he will come back."
Maggie laid back down, and Mary laid beside her, the two of them laying in silence.
Mary's eyes jolted open when she heard the doors downstairs open, and she ran over, careful not to wake Maggie, having only slept for a quarter of an hour.
"We got outside the boiler room. We're overrun again." Glenn explained, locking the doors behind him and Carl, the two of them wearing bullet proof vests which were covered in Walker blood. Quickly, Mary ran to Carl, and he picked her up, holding her tightly.
"That whole section had been cleared." Beth sighed.
"There's a steady stream of Walkers." Carl added.
"We're wasting time. The Goveror is supposedly on his way, and we're stuck in here with Walkers." Hershel worried.
"Trapped between a rock and a hard place."
"For the last time, running is not an option!" Glenn hissed, his unusually harsh tone making Mary flinch.
"Glenn, if the tombs have filled up again, it may just be a matter of time before they push in here." Carol warned.
"Or until some fence gives way!"
"What if one of them herds is passing through. We're settled."
"We can't handle that with just a few of us." Carol added.
"Okay. Alright. We, we just need to scout the far side of the prison. Find out what's going on." Glenn nodded.
"You're going out there?"
"I'll take a car, make it quick." Glenn assured.
"I'll drive." Axel offered.
"No. You stay here. Help with the fortifications. I'll take Maggie."
"You sure she's up for that?" Hershel asked, but Glenn still walked away to see her.
"She's napping!" Mary wined, but the man ignored her still.
"Why don't we do some drawing?" Carl asked with a sigh, trying to distract the child. He walked over to the cell block, and grabbed Mary's Sharpies. "Here."
Mary walked over to the wall, and grabbed the black Sharpie. Then she turned to Carl.
"Angel?"
"A-N-G-E-L." Carl said quietly, and Mary wrote it out in wobbly lettering. She wrote it under Lori's name, then under T-Dogs. Slowly, the child drew a baby in Carl's arms.
"Judith?"
"J-U-D-I-T-H."
Mary wrote the name, then copied out Grimes, from Beth's writing that she had done when they first arrived. Even still, she spelt it wrong, writing Grines. Afterwards, she walked over to Maggie, to see her softly crying, and Glenn walking out.
"Why are you sad?" Mary asked, sitting next to her. "Is it because of the nasty man?"
"Yeah. Yeah, because of the nasty man?" Maggie nodded tearfully.
"Did he hurt you?" Mary asked, grabbing Maggie's arm and checking it for bruises.
"A different kind of hurt."
"How?" Mary questioned, her eyes innocent, and upset that anyone would ever hurt Maggie.
"Hurt me... Inside. In my heart." Maggie explained softly.
"He hurt my heart too. And my arm." Mary nodded solemnly.
"He'll never hurt you again." Maggie said firmly, and Mary gently kissed her cheek.
"She's hungry," Beth said suddenly from the door, "can you feed her? I wanna make Daddy some thing to eat."
Maggie held her arms out softly, and Beth passed her Judith, and gave Mary a bottle, Beth sat in the other side of the woman.
"Hey Judith. Baby sister." Mary mumbled quietly, poking the baby gently in the forehead, making Maggie laugh. Maggie held the bottle into Judith's mouth, and quickly Beth adjusted the bottle.
"Just keep the bottle like this. Otherwise she gets gassy." Beth explained.
"Got it." Maggie nodded, as she carried on feeding Judith. Beth slowly reached over, and held her hand.
"Here." Beth smiled softly, passing Maggie a cloth, then leaving. As soon as her sister left, Maggie began to cry even heavier.
"Do you want to feed your sister?" Maggie asked shakily, and Mary nodded. Gently, Maggie put the baby into Mary's arms, and Mary held the bottle into Judith's mouth, letting Maggie adjust it.
It was the first time Mary had ever held Judith.
"It's not your fault, Judith," Mary began, and Maggie wondered if she was talking more to herself than the child, "it's not your fault that mommy died. And it's not your fault that daddy is sad now. Maybe me and Maggie and Glenn would have got hurt if we weren't looking for your food, but it's their fault really, because you didn't choose to hurt us, the nasty men did."
Maggie wiped away her tears, and smiled at the two sisters. "She's hungry." Maggie smiled softly, and Mary nodded. "You're a good big sister. Looking after her."
"I'm a little sister." Mary giggled.
"Yeah. You are. But you're a big sister too now."
"So I gotta look after Judy?" Mary asked hopefully.
"Yeah. You're gonna be the best big sister ever, you know?"
"Not as good as you." Mary sighed reluctantly.
"No. Better." Maggie said firmly. Suddenly, shots rang through the air, making Mary jump, and Judith cry.
"Stay here." Maggie said firmly, grabbing two large guns, and running out into the fields. Mary sat there, her heart palpitating, panic in her mind. Then she got up, put Judith in the cardboard box, and grabbed a handgun.
She ran to Maggie, who was hiding behind some filing cabinets, occasionally shooting at people, while Beth, Carl, and Carol hid behind a wall.
"I said stay in the cell block!" Maggie hissed in frustration, running a hand through her hair. Mary shrugged, then reached over, and shot at a man.
"Mary Grimes!" Maggie shouted, and Mary crumpled. "Sit there, do not move, and don't use that gun!"
Mary sat down, and began to cry softly. Then suddenly the shooting stopped, and a van drove through the gates. When the back door fell down, Walkers came out, and the shooting resumed. Mary glared at Maggie, then grabbed her gun, and shot all six bullets out of the small gun, taking down two Walkers. Eventually the attackers were gone, and they saw Glenn drive up to the fields. They ran to the fencing, and carried on shooting, Mary stood shaking, her knife in her hands.
"Daddy!" Mary screamed, as Walkers got closer to her father, trapped in the other side of the fencing. Suddenly, an arrow flew into its head.
"Is that Daryl?" Carl asked in shock.
"Yeah." Beth grinned.
"Uncle Daryl!" Mary screamed happily, and the man looked at her, and Mary swore she could see his smile, despite the distance. Glenn got Hershel into the car, and they drove into the prison, Carl opening the gate.
Maggie ran over to the car, and opened the door, hugging her father. "You okay?"
"Yes baby." The man nodded.
"Daddy and uncle Daryl are still out there." Mary whispered fearfully. Glenn smiled softly at her, then went in the car to pick them up. When he came back, his face was furious, and Mary went as pale as a sheet when she saw who was in the back of the car.
Merle.