Beloved

My Place

"And honestly, its very weird living next to my ex. He comes over sometimes and I pretend to not be irritated by him but he's just so... irritating!!!"

We were all slumped out on my couches. We didn't get back here until like three and we've just been sitting here drunkenly talking about our lives.

"But what happened between you two? What ended it dear?" My mother asked. I shrugged my shoulders and huffed. "He did it, or maybe I messed things up. He didn't cheat on me, he just couldn't keep his eyes off other people and he still flirted with them too! I mean, I get flirted with all the time at work but I just ignore them or reply in a dull tone to show them that I'm not interested. He winks and smirks and... Ugh, he's just too friendly I guess."

Talyn was on a pallet on the floor with three pillows stuffed under her. "I mean, he does seem to care about you a lot. Maybe you were just being paranoid?" She said and Michael chimed in. "Or maybe you were right in your presumptions and saved yourself some heartbreak." He said and Talyn shrugged. I agreed with him and my mother started talking. "Dating has been hard for me as well since... Him." We all went silent, her mentioning the man that stole away my innocence had considerably darkened the mood. Then it happened. The moment flooded into my head like it had the first time.

My mouth was covered and my hands were bound in one hand over my head. An increasingly sharp pain spread up my lower back and I struggled to breathe. I was having a relapse and it triggered a panic attack. I couldn't see, it was dark, but I could hear. His moans flooded into my ear as he pushed deep into my body. I wept a river of tears and I tried to scream but  his hand was pressing down on my face so hard that I couldn't even move my jaw. He pulled back before going in again. He did this over and over and over again until he finished and uttered the words, "That was amazing... Tell anyone about this and I'll make sure to strangle that pretty little neck of yours too." I laid there motionless as he got up to leave. I couldn't even think about anything else, anything other than what just happened. He was... Inside me.

"-eathe, that's it! Just breathe, its not real. He isn't here." I could hear Talyn but I still couldn't move or anything. I could still see him towering over me with those psychotic, hungry eyes. "Ymir, my little one. Its papa, listen well." My heart stopped momentarily before speeding up to a normal pace. "I won't let anyone else hurt you. I will always protect you, with my life! Come back to papa, it isn't real..." My teeth unclenched and my hands unballed themselves. My breathing slowed down and I calmed myself as the face of my wicked assailant slowly shifted into the face of my loving father. He hugged me slowly and tenderly and I hugged him back after a few moments. Silent tears rolled down my face as we embraced each other.

"I'm- I'm sorry I didn't mean... I didn't mean to bring up those memories, I just-" My mom was crying too and I motioned for her to join us. "Its not your fault, these things happen at random. Its probably because we're all a little drunk. I think we should all go to bed now." I said and everyone agreed. Talyn and I went into my room and she watched me and played with my hair until I fell asleep. Those same memories would haunt my dreams later but I'd power through them... Because it was what I had to do to keep myself calm and happy.

********

"Grab those for me."

"These?"

"Yea, follow me."

Jake was helping me set up at my house for our party. He agreed to be my bartender for the night and with a discount on the pay. Its been a few weeks since my break down and my parents were still here but they'd leave after the party tonight. Which meant that I'd have my house to myself again by tomorrow morning!

"Just sit it anywhere." I told him and smiled at all my hard work. I haven't had a panic attack since that night, I decorated this house with awesome ornaments and things, and I was making progress on my love life. Jake and I went on a few dates and I'm getting this amazing feeling from him. He's kind and selfless and funny!

"So, we're officially dating now right?" He asked I nodded. "I mean, I would say so-" I slipped and fell. I closed my eyes and accepted my fate but I never hit the floor. "You should ready be careful." He said and laughed. I laughed nervously with him before looking over to where I last saw him. How did he make it around the island so fast???

"You two stop kissing and finish putting this stuff up, we got a party to throw!" My dad said as he and Talyn brought in more food. My mom and Michael made conversation while setting up decorations and it kinda felt surreal, they've never gotten along.

We separated and went back to  setting up but I just couldn't get my mind off of him saving me so quickly. How did he do that?

We finished setting up and actually started the party about an hour later. My parents invited some of their friends over and they all were really nice yet energetic. They partied like they were teenagers, dancing and singing and drinking until they threw up. It was actually entertaining to watch!

"So... Do you think your parents like me? And I know it was so sudden a thing to ask but I really wanted to meet the people who raised you!" Jake said as he gazed into my eyes. "I think they like you. Maybe boy papa but that's cause I'm dating you so... But Talyn and my mom like you so I'd say you're good." I told him and he seemed happy. We took another drink and his eyes changed color slightly. They weren't Blue, more like a light purple but then changed back when he finished and shook his head. "Ah, this is really strong! Here, try some!" I took the drink while wondering if I was just hallucinating or something was really off about him.