Speak

Chapter 3

"Music is the silence between the notes."

~ Claude Debussy

"Back off, Ethan," Wes growled as he drew closer to Ethan and I. Is he serious right now? I mean, I have absolutely no interest in Ethan, whatsoever, but Wes has no right trying to run Ethan off.

"Elizabeth and I were having a private conversation," Ethan barks back. "So get lost, Parker!"

The two stare each other down, with me, caught in the middle. These two seem to have some history, and I right now they are treating me like a shiny new toy to fight over. Except, I'm not a toy. I'm not interested in ANY relationship with EITHER of them.

"Let's go back inside, Liz," Wes commands. I freeze. I look back at Ethan, narrowing his eyes down on Wes, glancing over at me, daring me to move. I look back to Wes, his expression softens, pleading me to come with him. But what happens if I go with him? I go back inside, just for him to go love up on Hannah again and ignore me?

Ethan might not be the best company, but it is better than feeling like you are the third wheel. No, thank you. I think I would just rather stay out here with Ethan. At least it's quieter out here, and if I go back inside with Wes, I might see HIM again.

"Liz, please?" Wes begs. I start to feel guilty for the clear rejection, but he has a girlfriend. Does Wes actually care for me, or is he just trying to control me as Gumby does? I stand my ground, and I see disappointment spread across Wes's face.

"Looks like Elizabeth wants to stay here with me," Ethan chuckles. "Bad luck, Parker."

Wes turns and walks back towards the house, defeated. Maybe I should have gone with him; I don't know. I hate the mixed signals he is sending me. I'd like to get to know him more, maybe even be friends, but I just can't get too close. I can't let anyone get too close.

"I'd love to know what's going on inside that little head of yours," Ethan says as I turn back to face him. Yeah, he doesn't want to know what's going on in my head. That the only thing that kept me from going back inside with Wes was respect for Hannah and fear.

"You don't know what effect you have on me," he continued. Effect? Do I have an effect on him? I hope I'm not sending the wrong message.

"I'd like to take you out some time." Yup. There it is. I am definitely sending the wrong message. Why is it that a girl can't merely spend time with a guy without the assumption that there will be something more? This is why I don't like people. I reach into my purse and pull out my notepad. I'm going to nip this in the bud now before it gets too far.

I'm sorry, I'm not interested in dating anyone.

As Ethan reads the note, I can see him contemplating. First I shoot Wes down, now I have rejected Ethan. Am I even human? I can think of hundreds of girls that would jump at the opportunity to hang out with either of these two guys and here I am just trying to be unnoticed, and failing miserably at it.

"How about we go out just as friends, then?" Ethan asks, letting the corner of his mouth pull up into a smirk. I don't know. The way Ethan acts, it feels like he wants more than just to be friends.

"I won't bite," Ethan added with a small amount of bitterness in his voice. I'm trying my hardest to stand my ground but can feel my willpower fading. What would happen if I said no? What would happen if I put my food down, and held my ground?

"Its just one 'date,'" Ethan chimes. "Just as friends. No funny stuff, I promise."

Baby steps. My psychiatrist has been trying for a year to get me to interact with people. That was the whole reason behind coming to this party. I tried, and I couldn't. But, I have to keep trying. As long as I keep myself isolated from the world, I will never heal. I need to push myself, out of my comfort zone, one step at a time. Baby steps.