Speak

Chapter 5

"There's degree of deception in silence." 

~ Don Lemon

How do I feel about Wes?

As I stare across the table at him, I can feel my heart begin to race, and my palms are getting sweaty. He seems sweet, kind, funny, and not to mention hot as hell, but can I trust him? Can I trust anyone?

Both sides of my heart begin to fight with each other. The one side, begging me to confess that I have been finding myself more and more attracted to Wes. The other hand keeps sending flashes of dark figures standing over me to my brain, begging me just to run away now. So, I stare, unable to move, unsure which side of my heart to listen to.

"I know we just met," Wes speaks up, seeming to sense the conflict within me. "We could just hang out sometime, get to know each other a little better."

The sincerity of his words keeps my desire to flee at bay. The softness in his eyes, with concern, not just like Ethan had, allows my heart to begin to slow. As my body starts to relax, I notice that I had been clenching my hands so tightly together that my fingernails had dug into my palms. Drawing in a long deep breath, a soft smile spreads across Wes's face.

"No pressure, whatsoever," Wes adds. I reluctantly nod my head which causes Wes's smile to grow even wider.

"Great," Wes beams. "What are you doing on Friday?"

Friday? Fuck! I already promised Ethan that I would go out with him on Friday. I much rather get to know Wes, but if I bail on Ethan... Fuck my life!

I take my notepad back out of my purse when I had just secured it, and scribbled out a few words. Embarrassed, I handed the piece of paper and waited for him to read it.

I already have plans on Friday... sorry.

"Oh," Wes replies. I can see the disappointment creep across his eyebrows. If only there were a way that I could get out of going with Ethan, but I can't. 

"What about Saturday?" Wes asks as he rubs his chin. I sit there, thinking for a moment, trying to remember if I have any plans for Saturday. Before coming to college, my Saturdays were usually filled with immersing myself in books, trying to drown out my sorrows with the pain and anguish of others. 

I nod my head with a smile and watch as satisfaction grows across Wes's face.

"Great, Saturday it is."

Wes smiles at me as he brings his cup of coffee to his lips. I had almost forgotten about the latte in front of me and smiled as I joined him in the drink. Mid sip, I heard my phone vibrate in my purse.

Great! Probably Gumby with his hourly check-in. Leave it to my brother to ruin one of the few good moments in my life.

Yup, Greg.

Haven't heard from you today... just checking in.

Does everyone have a brother this so far up their fundaments? I get that he is worried about me, especially since he hasn't seen me in nearly four days, but I am FINE.

I am FINE!!!

Frustrated, I mash the send button and gently slam my phone on the table. Can I not go one hour without Mister Nosey wondering what I am doing or how I feel?

"Is everything okay," Wes asks sheepishly. Okay, maybe I slammed the phone down a little more than gently, but when you are dealing with an annoying brother like Greg...

My phone vibrates again. Shit.

I moved your appointments with Doctor Holiday to Saturdays since you have classes on Wednesday. I'll pick you up around 10:00