sympathy ~ e.d.

VIII

And... I don't. My headache is pretty bad and my nausea is kicking in again. I head downstairs and dial the school's number to call in sick for myself, pretending to be my mother. Who didn't come home last night to do it for me. Once again.

I think I have become quite good at imitating my mother; I am somewhat becoming her. I mean, I cook for myself, take care of myself when I'm sick and clean up after myself. I've already covered quite a few of her duties as a mother.

I take a paracetamol and lay down on my bed again. I should try to rest as much as possible. I am closing my eyes while laying on my bed and I feel my throat is quite dry. I should get myself something to drink.

I head downstairs and chug down a glass of water. The medicine is working and I'm feeling slightly better, but still with a lack of energy. I feel drained. 

The ingredients for the soup are still on the countertop, so I decide I should probably finish that. I sigh and grab a cracker for some form of energy before I start cooking.

The soup is quite good, even though the ingredients have been sitting on the countertop for nearly an entire day. I take a bowl of it and feel a bit better. I think I can head to school tomorrow.

I hear my phone buzz from the living room. I hope it's my mom letting me know where she is. I hope she's saying she will be home for a night, instead of sleeping at the office once again. But the text I received isn't from my mom. It's Ethan.

'Hey! You're still sick, aren't you? I mean, your not at school so hope you'll feel better.'

'You're*'

'Oh shush, I'm being nice. Any need for me to bring you pasta again? I wouldn't mind.'

'Nope. I'm perfectly fine.'

'You're not.'

'But see you tomorrow, English class is starting and I'm paying attention for once so I can send you notes. Bye!'

Wait, what? Oh, I remember, yesterday I promised Ethan to talk to him tomorrow. Well, I'm not excited for that at all. Is there any way I can get out of that? Probably not, knowing Ethan.

Ethan will make me talk to him. I'm sure of it. He won't let me get away. I sigh and decicde I should go to school tomorrow so I won't miss too much of my classes. 

Now that I have time, I should prepare some dinners in advance so I can easily warm those up later this week or next week. I could keep them in the fridge or freezer to keep them somewhat fresh. 

I start cooking and play some music. I sing and dance along to the lyrics. When I'm listening to music I can forget about my problems for a bit. Just like when I'm running, it's like the world goes past while forgetting about me, which is really soothing to me for some reason. The combination of both is like the eye of the hurricane that is my life; the slightest peace in the middle of the events around it.

I should go out for a run. I know it'll make me feel better. I also know I won't be hoping for my mom to come back when running because my thoughts are occupied. Occupied by the rhythmic touching of my feet on the ground.

I change into my running clothes and head out the door. The keys are in a small pocket in my leggings and my phone is playing music through my earphones. I run through the less busy parts of the city and alongside the water for a bit. I can feel my feet starting to hurt, it's most likely a sign I should go back home now. I head towards the park and see some guys throwing a football.

My focus leaves my running and shifts on the backs of the guys. I recognize them. It's Ethan and Grayson throwing a football in the park. I should turn right back around before they see me but Grayson has spotted me. I'm making direct eye contact with him for a split second before I look at the ground. It would be weird to turn back now. 

The false hope that he didn't recognize me or attract attention to me is directly lost. Grayson's look on me causes Ethan to turn around as well. He recognizes me in an instant, to my bad luck. 'Zee! I'm glad you are outside, are you feeling any better?' I take out my earphones and smile a polite smile at him. 'Hi Ethan, hi Grayson.' I also greet his brother so he won't feel left out. Grayson does a small wave as a way of greeting me. He must have some vague knowledge of who I am due to Ethan's remarkable behavior in the supermarket the other day.

Ethan's eyes are focused on me. I look back at him and I see all the little sweat beads forming on his body. I won't deny he looks good shirtless. Wait, he asked me a question, didn't he? His questioning stare kind of gives it away. I should probably respond. 'I'm doing a bit better, thanks.'

I meet his eyes again and smile a small polite smile once more before putting my earbuds in again. I am not in the mood to socialize with people, especially with the complex being that Ethan is. One moment, he pretends not to know me, the next, he says he cares. 

'Bye, nice seeing you!' I tell Grayson. 'You too!' I get back from him. I look at Ethan. 'Bye Ethan', I say plainly. I don't want to form some kind of bond with him, I guess. I'm not feeling it right now. I'm not in the mood for more complexity. 'Just call me E, like you did over text, Zee.' Could he not confuse me, please? 'Ethan. Have a nice day.' I decide to just ignore his comment. 

My hand awkwardly waves at the twins and I focus on my feet again. They're aching from the distance I already ran. I slowly start running away from them and I can feel Ethan's eyes in my back, staring at me until I turn the first corner I can find.