sympathy ~ e.d.

VI

I am so confused.

He says he cares? Sure he does. He has only known me for a day! Well, not really. We've been in the same school for a few years but we've been somewhat talking for about a day.

I shake my head to get rid of the thought of him. It isn't working, and my headache is really bad now.

I'm not hungry anymore now. My mind is occupied elsewhere and I can't seem to find the motivation to take another bite.

I cross my legs and I put away what's left of my sandwich. I take a sip of water, trying to take my mind off him.

The bell rings again, signaling I should head to class.

I hit myself on my head in an attempt to empty it. It works slightly, but my thoughts about Ethan are now replaced by a massive headache. Great.

I know I should be heading to class but I really do feel miserable and sick. I know I won't be paying attention if I would head to my class now, so instead, I called in sick for the rest of the day. It would be useless to sit in class like this.

I head home and the second I lay down on the uncomfortable living room couch, I feel myself sinking away into a deep sleep.

Only to awaken four hours later. With a few texts from Ethan and one from my mother. That's probably one of the first times she actually remembers me in the last few months. She usually doesn't even text me to let me know she won't be home.

'Hi darling, I'm afraid work is too busy again for me to come home. I'm going on a business trip next week and one of my projects has to be finished by then. I just wanted to let you know I put more money in the little pot so you can do the groceries for yourself. Love you, mom.'

I sigh deeply. She's going on some business trip? Her not being at home most of the time is something different than her being quite far away. A different state or even country.

I get up to cut some tomatoes, onions, and garlic to make tomato soup for myself. Halfway through cutting the third tomato, I feel my feet giving up underneath me. I fall to the ground. I feel so weak. I need to eat something now.

I manage to get up by grabbing on to the counter tightly. I grab a cracker and sit down on the ground again so my knees won't have to hold up my weight. I then slowly start munching on that while drinking a glass of water.

Five minutes later, I feel myself regain some energy and I shakily get up. I take a slice of bread and put some peanut butter on it. This will have to do as my dinner. I am not able to properly make myself anything in this state.

I head to the bathroom before I lay back down on the couch. The blanket that is laying over the chair is just within arms' reach and I pull it towards me. I place it over myself and I try to fall asleep again. Sleep is the best medicine against sickness.

I am almost asleep when I hear my phone receiving a message.

Probably nothing important.