Time Travel (Christofer Drew Love Story)

Chapter 15. Lifeless

Chapter 15. Lifeless

~Kendall~

I remember back when I was eleven and when I lived in California. When my parents were still together. My brothers and I were actually the model siblings all parents wanted. I had the best of friends. 

I remember only one night where I experienced equivalent pain to the night I lost my baby girl. I was at my friend’s house. We were having a sleepover and we had to share the same bed. We fell asleep at around midnight and then I woke up at 3:44 AM. I, being the smart child I was, figured I woke up at that time because it is a fact that people more often wake up around 3:44 because of nightmares, hearing a strange noise, or seeing things that aren't there. 

I shrugged it off. One, because I had a good dream, I didn't here anything weird, and I didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Two, because I was tired. I wanted to sleep, but I couldn't move. My whole body was frozen. I was awake, but my body wasn't. I couldn't speak either. No noise would come from my mouth. I couldn't even open my mouth. I suddenly saw figures and I felt like something was slicing my stomach open. Gross, I know. Luckily, I regained control of my body and the figures and pain were gone. 

That was the only time I ever felt pain as bad as now. Throughout the next few days, my stomach just started to feel worse. And Chris is gone. He went on some camping trip with a few other people. 

I feel like I want to die! My stomach hurts, my head hurts, I'm sad Chris is gone, I'm sad that none of my friends are actually here with me, and I'm mostly sad that I lost my baby girl. I could have been a great mom! Now I never get to be…

"Hey Kendall?" Stevie called, walking through the front door. Wow, she's home. 

"Yeah?" I called back. I was in the bathroom right now, deciding what I was going to do. 

"I know I just got here but I'm going out. I need a drink." 

I kind of understood her, but I was still pissed. She just had her heart broken by her now ex boyfriend. She wanted to have a little fun. But so did I and no one will stay with me to even give a shit. 

"Okay." I felt the need to cry again. That would make it the fifth time I've cried today. It was about 7:30 pm when Stevie left to go drink. 

I had so many questions that I decided to right down. Luckily I brought a pen and paper into the bathroom with me for when I decided to do this. 

'Why did you guys leave me alone during the worst time of my life just so you could have fun?
Why do I have to feel so bad and still no one cares?
Why did we have to lose our baby girl because of one little fight?
Why couldn't I die instead of my own child?'

I wrote those questions at the top of the page. I inhaled a deep breath and starting writing my note, after locking the door of course. 

'If you haven't already noticed, I hate this. All of this. The guilt from losing my child, the tears because I feel so awful, the pain from all of this. I can't take it anymore. I guess you could possibly be thinking that this is your fault or something that is utter bullshit like that, then again probably not. It's not. It's mine.

I just wanted to tell my closest family and friends all something individually. So, here goes my cliché note to all of you. 

Stevie: You are my sister! I trusted you with everything since the day I met you. You make me laugh, even when I feel like punching something. Although then I would probably break my fist. Can you break fists? I don't know. The point is I love you like the sister I always wanted. Promise me that you will always be my best friend. Until the day you die? Hope so. Also, I want you to keep my dog. That fur ball loves you. I love you sis. 

Mom, Dad, and siblings: I love you guys to death. I know that I've done stupid things in the past, but you all still love and respect me just the same. I hope you will feel the same way about this. I love you guys. 

Hayden: First of all, stop shaving your beard off! And second, you are my best friend! I have talked to you about anything and everything. I would always spill all my secrets to you, and vise versa. If you ever need to talk, come visit me okay? I love you bro. 

Christofer: Don't you hate it when I call you that? So, what can I say? I love you more than anything. Always and forever. Please don't forget that. Chris, you've been my all time crush since day one. I'm pretty sure that you are the one for me. But I've always known that I'm not the once for you. You will find her soon, and when you fall in love again just promise you won't forget about me. And please know that I always have and always will love you. Visit me whenever, but I'll never be too far. Neither will little Indi. 

As for everyone else, visit me too. I love everyone. Goodbye. 

~Kendall'

I finished my note, walked into the kitchen, and set it on the table for Stevie to see. I walked back into the bathroom and got out the blade I had taken from a razor. I shut the door, forgetting to lock it. 

Here goes nothing. 

I shut my eyes and thought about how I would soon see Indigo. My own baby. I gently but deeply slide the blade into and through my wrist horizontally. I opened my eyes, ready to see blood gush out. I saw what I expected. Before it killed me I grabbed a few pain killers and swallowed them. 

I suddenly felt dizzy. I collapsed to the floor, hitting my head on the tile first. 

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~Stevie's POV~

I stumbled into my apartment, tired as hell. No, I'm not drunk. I couldn't stop thinking about what would happen if I drank. I do stupid things when I drink.  

I turned on the kitchen light and set my phone down next to a paper. The paper had Kendall's hand writing on it. I skimmed it and didn't understand what it meant. I decided to ask Kendall. 

I walked around with the paper in my hand, trying to find her. I saw that the bathroom light was on but the door was shut. I walked in, hoping Kendall was naked or something. 

"Hey Kendall, I saw the note and I don't-" I stopped speaking and screamed. There was blood everywhere, pills on the counter, and Kendall lying on the floor. I ran into the kitchen and grabbed my phone. I called 911 as I rushed back to Kendall's side.  

"Oh crap," I mumbled, tears coming to my eyes. "Kendall, wake up! Please! Kendall I need you to wake up!"

I looked at her wrist, closing the cut as best as I could with those butterfly things. No pulse. 

"Kendall, please…"