for better or for worse // mitchel cave (completed)

part XXXVII

*laralyn's pov*

emotional rom com? check. too much mint ice cream? check. insanely comfortable pajamas? check.
seemed like i had everything i needed to carry on the grieving method right where i had left off. it had been around 3 weeks since the break up, and life wasn't going much better.

especially not since i saw it. witnessed the video of mitchel at the radio station. the video where mitchel confesses he has a current girlfriend and i never signified anything to him.

to say i was angry was an understatement. but i was so so so much more than just angry. i was broken, i was sad, i was depressed, i was irrational, i was every possible pessimistic emotion swathed into one human body, and i couldn't possibly stand it.

i had been persuaded mitchel was just as broken as i was, he seemed so torn apart when he was standing in front of me that day and telling me we could no longer be apart of each other's life.

but it was all a sick lie. and that's what hurt the most. because i couldn't consider touching one other guy, i had taken numberless showers attempting to blot out the dirty feeling of calum's hands gripping my hips, the way his mouth moving against me just felt so so wrong.

i put my head in my hands, speculating to myself why i was even here. why was i in this town, where i had nobody and not one single person gave a shit about me.

texas just seemed better and better, and a move there could destroy this terrible feeling that had made the pit of my stomach it's home. my mind was drowning in these messy thoughts before i was swiftly snapped out of it by a loud knock on my door.

i stood up, quickly trying to comb my fingers through my hair and smoothed out my tank top. once i deemed myself presentable, i strolled to the door and opened it nervously.

jesse had been just about to knock again, his fist held up in front of his face before he swiftly dropped it, a small smile working its way onto his face. "oh um, hi."

i raised an eyebrow, disconcerted on why the drummer was in front on me, or even at my apartment complex for that matter.

"hey jesse," i responded, the obvious inquisitiveness on why he was here hanging in my voice.

it would have made more sense for christian to be here truthfully. i had texted him and asked if we could meet up when i got back to los angeles but it was a fail. he never texted back and just left my message on seen. seems like mitchel wasn't the only one disregarding my existence anymore.

and it wasn't like me and jesse weren't good friends, we had started texting on tour so i could check up on how mitchel was doing without annoying him all the time. we ended up becoming quite close, if quite close was just us sending memes all the time and having the funniest drunk conversations ever.

jesse had texted me a few times after the break up but i wasn't in the mood to even think about mitchel so i had ignored it, i didn't think it was a huge deal. maybe he was concerned for me?

"um can i come in?" he asked, his voice sounding more apprehensive than usual. i nodded my head, stepping to the side to let the long haired boy inside.

i shut the door behind him and then pulled myself to a kitchen stool, sitting down. "so why exactly are you here?"

he sat on the stool beside me and scratched the back of his neck. "i wanted to see how you were doing. it's been a long time since we talked and you don't seem like you're replying to texts nowadays."

i felt my face heat up, i did feel kinda bad for ghosting him. "sorry, i've just been busy. i just got back from texas a few days ago."

jesse nodded his head in understanding. "i get that, but i know how much of a mess mitchel was so i wanted to see if you might be doing better than him."

i scoffed, stifling a laugh. mitchel was undeniably not a mess, he had already found a new girl and seemed entirely devoted to her. jesse was probably here to guilt trip me and i wasn't going to let that happen.

"yeah well, he's doing a lot better than me. i'm probably going to move back to texas really soon, so this is all just pointless anyway."

jesse suddenly looked at me. "wait what?"

i nodded my head slowly, not sure why it would matter so much to him. i thought all the boys pretty much knew it was going to happen sooner or later.

"so you're just gonna leave here and never look back?"

"pretty much. there's nothing here holding me back."

"but there isn't anything for you there. you wouldn't be as happy there," he sighed in frustration.

i rolled my eyes. "does it seem like i'm happy here?"

he looked at the ground. "i guess i'm being selfish. but you can't just run away from your problems."

i furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. "it's not running away, it's a fresh start. i won't have to think about mitchel anymore."

jesse leaned in a bit, looking into my eyes as he pushed a piece of hair behind my ear. "there's plenty of other ways you can do that without leaving los angeles laralyn."

i sighed and glanced down, feeling his hand rest on my cheek. "i don't kn-"

"laralyn," he cut me off. "look at me." he brought my face up eye level to his. "you aren't alone here. you can leave, but the pain and memories won't. please don't leave yet. at least give it some time."

i looked at him, his face begging me to give los angeles another chance. "why do you care jesse? why would it matter if i left anyway?"

"because laralyn, i think i'm in love with you."

i widened my eyes at his words, it couldn't be true, it was some sick prank and he was going to laugh it all off soon.

i opened my mouth to respond, tell him he was wrong and to get the hell out of my apartment, but i was swiftly cut off by his lips colliding into mine.

i wanted to tell him it was wrong, i wanted to tell him the only guy i could think about was mitchel all this time, but i couldn't oppose that part of it felt satisfying. it felt good to know how mitchel felt when he replaced me, and it felt good to replace him right back.

which is why i couldn't help but start kissing him back after a few moments, my hands roaming through his long hair. he tugged my body onto his lap, and i straddled him, rocking on his lap as his mouth dominated mine.

i pulled back for a second, the rational part of me taking over for a moment. "jesse-"

he pressed a finger to my lips. "don't think lara, just do what you want. do what it feels right to do in this moment, what your body is telling you is right."

and his words sunk into me, because my body was telling me that jesse's touch felt so so good and i wanted more of it. i leaned back into his body, my lips igniting a fire with his and he happily accepted it.

he pulled my legs around his waist, walking backwards to my bedroom. he laid me down onto the bed, hovering over my body. "are you sure you want this lara?"

i nodded my head, i couldn't think in this moment, only feel. it felt nice to have someone touch me and kiss me, even if it wasn't mitchel. maybe it was wrong, but i was angry. i was angry he would replace me so fast and not care about me, i was angry at everything he did to make me love him, and this was the only way i had to gain leverage.

he smiled at me, pulling his shirt off and kissing my neck, sure to leave dark bruises in the morning.

and as he slid between my legs, all i could feel was pleasure clouding my vision.

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omg so laralyn and jesse hooked up?? there's so so much more planned 🙂 i would love some comments, and some votes!! see u on the next update🌹