for better or for worse // mitchel cave (completed)

part XXXII

*mitchel's pov*

i hadn't witnessed this side of myself in months. angry mitchel had been stored somewhere deep inside me, and to be fairly honest, i thought he was never coming back.

my knuckles turned white as i seemed to be strangling the steering wheel of my car with my fingers. i tried to be sensible but i couldn't even stand to be alone with my thoughts. the silence of the car ate away at me so i quickly fumbled with the radio controls, turning on whatever song i had played last.

a sardonic laugh escaped my lips as 'triggered' blared  through my speakers. how suitable. a song i had written with false emotions and a fake scenario seemed to fit this situation quite perfectly. my laughter quickly turned into a choked sob as i tried to hold my head up and not drive my car into the fucking ditch.

i parked at laralyn's apartment complex quite swiftly, considering i had just sped about 90 miles an hour to get here. i wanted her to tell me that it was all a big prank, the girl in the video somehow wasn't her, anything to stop these emotions from overwhelming my soul.

my legs propelled me forward into the building, and i thrusted my hands into my jacket pockets, shivering impatiently as i paced to her door. i wanted to be level headed so i took a few deep breaths- but wait, fuck that. fuck being level headed. if laralyn couldn't be level headed enough to not cheat on me, then why was i doing her any favors?

i couldn't help but laugh at the way this woman altered me. she helped me cope, she helped me in so many ways but she swiftly turned into the worst nightmare of my life. from this moment on, i vowed to never trust a girl again. especially not a cheating ass LA bitch.

i knocked on the door. i really wasn't sure how this conversation was about to go down but i'm sure i could tell her to fuck off and never talk to me again. or at least, i thought i could.

when the door swung open and her big brown doe eyes looked at me, i didn't know what to do. i stuttered for a second, my mind vanishing as i attempted to grab hold of the rage that once consumed me.

"can i come in? or do you have a guy over? would hate to interrupt another make out session of yours. oh wait, that was jessie that did that last time, right?"

she opened her mouth and closed it, at a loss for words.

"mitchel listen, there's a long story to go with that if you would just list-"

"if i would just listen? sure! i would love to hear you try to talk your way out of cheating on me," i huffed, leaning against the door frame. i wanted complete jurisdiction of this situation and there was no way in hell i was going to ever walk inside of her apartment again.

she bit her lip and glanced down. "i was high."

i gave her a look. "wait what?"

she nodded her head. "so like, doesn't that make it obvious it wasn't intentional?"

i stared at her for a moment before erupting in laughter. "sweetness, i have been high for half of my life but that doesn't mean i go around ruining people's trust. if you thought you could convince me to stay, you're gonna have to use better reasoning than that darling."

her face crumbled, her brain probably scattering on what to say. "i thought he was you! i was so high i thought he was you! i mean he has an australian accent and everything!" she protested.

i snickered and looked at the floor. "maybe you shouldn't get high if you do shit like that."

she opened her mouth to respond and i cut her off. "truth is laralyn, i'm in love with you. completely in love with you. i would do anything for you. but i'm too old to be walked all over. i can't stay with you after something like this. so maybe you should fix your life."

to be honest, there was nothing more i wanted to do then stay with her. i wanted to step inside her apartment and spend hours binge watching the vampire diaries, and have tickle wars with her, and whisper in her ear and give her those beloved little goosebumps that only i could give her.

i love her more than anyone on this earth. there was not a soul on this earth that could give me life like she did. that could change me in the best ways possible, give me a fresh meaning, pull me into a cloud of ecstasy like she did.

but there was also not a soul on this earth who could wound me like she did. who held every emotion of mine on a minuscule little string, that she could cut at any moment. that she could destroy at any given time.

but that was love wasn't it? you're never in love until you take that leap. that leap of vulnerability. you have to open yourself up to that, you have to make yourself weak. you have to interlock souls, you have to combine your fears and weaknesses to make something stronger and bigger than just the two of you as individuals.

but when it's betrayed? your soul comes undone. that string is left hanging, frayed and torn. your strengths together just come as aching reminders of a love that was once known in this universe.

i couldn't look past the cheating. i wanted to, so so so so badly. but i couldn't have my soul be hurt anymore. so i guess it was my soul that did this next. because lord knows my brain and heart were screaming for me to stop.

"we're through laralyn. for good. have a nice life without me, because i never want to be in yours again."

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well, your favorite ship is officially over. how are you feeling about it?? leave a vote if you enjoyed the chapter. well, i'm not sure how you would but... love you guys!!🌹