for better or for worse // mitchel cave (completed)

part XXXVIII

*laralyn's pov*

arms. arms wrapped around my torso, pulling me back farther into his body. i felt his soft hair tickling the back of my neck, the cover pulled over our bare bodies.

i couldn't remember exactly what had happened last night for a moment, but it soon all came rushing back to me. i had sex with him. i had sex with mitchel's bandmate.

i pulled out of his grasp instantly, wrapping the covers around my naked body as i looked at him. he looked so peaceful there, asleep. a small smile tugged on his lips as he came back to consciousness, his eyes fluttering open.

"hey there sleepy head," i mumble, glancing down at him. he shot me a smile back. "when did you wake up?"

"about 30 seconds before you did," i respond. he nods his head and i stand up, keeping the covers around me. "where you going?" he inquired.

"to put some clothes on," i laugh, it was obvious there was no way i was just going to walk around the place naked. jesse gives me a playful pout. "now why would you need some silly clothes?"

i sigh, looking down. i wasn't in the mood for this right now, deep down i felt really shitty for what i did last night, no matter how much mitchel might have deserved it. "because i'm cold and not in the mood," i snap back at him.

he raises his eyebrow at my sharp behavior and shrugs. "whatever you say. i was just teasing baby."

here we go, the pet names. "can you not call me baby or any other weird pet names?" i say quietly, slipping a tank top on over my head.

he sits up. "laralyn, are you okay? i know you may feel weird about what happened but you don't have to act like this."

i wave him off, tugging on some pajama shorts. "i don't know how i feel about what happened jesse," i admit, looking into his eyes.

"well, i kinda told you i was in love with you and then you kinda had me sleep with you soooo, it's pretty obvious you feel the same way."

i shoot him a look, raising an eyebrow at the way he just assumed my feelings based on an emotional decision.

"o-or at least i hope you feel the same way," he quickly corrected himself.

"just get dressed jesse. i'm gonna make coffee," i announce, walking out of the room and into my kitchen, finally giving me a chance to be alone with myself and my thoughts.

i couldn't believe this. i had seriously just slept with my ex's best friend. i managed to start the coffee, all the while trying to clear the thoughts in my head.

jesse obviously thought we had something, and i knew we didn't. i didn't want to hurt jesse, i had already hurt so many people in the past month but it had to be done.

i wasn't even sure what jesse thought was supposed to happen anyway. did he expect to date me? did he expect mitchel to be okay with this? even though mitchel didn't care about me, his pride and ego would never allow that to happen.

and i knew i shouldn't have slept with him, i knew the entire time it was a mistake, but i was overcome with anger and sadness. i still couldn't wrap my head around the way mitchel replaced me and how he told the entire world he never cared for me.

this was my way of getting back at him, but i prayed he would never find out.

my thoughts were interrupted as i heard the footsteps of jesse and the coffee machine beep. i don't even look at him as i pour two cups of coffee, trying to avoid his gaze as much as possible.

i knew i was going to have to say it out loud. i knew i was going to have to tell him i didn't feel the same way. i just really didn't want to.

"laralyn, can we please talk about this?" jesse asks quietly, as i push him his cup of coffee. he sits on a stool as i try to busy myself at the sink, not wanting to even look him in the eye.

"talk about what?"

"about what happened for fucks sake! we had sex!"

i curse under my breath and turn around to look at him. "your point?"

"my point is the fact that i'm in love with you. i've been in love with you for the longest time but i didn't want to admit it, and after last night...well after last night, you convinced me you might have been in love with me too."

i looked at the ground and shook my head. "you really want me to say it out loud?"

"i guess so, since i don't know what you're going to say," he replies.

i take in a shaky breath and brace myself. i look him in his eyes, his beautiful eyes, full of love and concern. i could see how much he deserved a wonderful girl, one that wasn't me.

because i was such a fuck up, i cheated on my boyfriend and now i slept with his best friend. i sunk as low as possible for revenge, and used an amazing person for my own personal gain. and now i was prepared to break another wonderful person's heart.

"jesse...i'm in love with mitchel, i have always been in love with mitchel. and i have never felt anything for you, you've always been a friend in my eyes, and even after last night, you're still a friend to me. i was angry at mitchel and i let those emotions get the best of me. i'm sorry, but it was a mistake and you need to go. please."

i watched his face fall, i watched a hundred different emotions go through his pristine features as he tried to take all of this in.

"so you just slept with me for no reason? i don't mean anything to you?"

i bit my lip, nodding my head. "jesse, i told you. just leave, please," i beg him, my voice cracking at the last word.

he nods and kicks the stool in underneath the table, letting out a shaky breath. "don't worry, i won't tell the love of your life what happened today. i care so much for you, as much as you don't deserve it lara. i'll see you around."

he spun on his heel, slamming the door behind him, and i had just made the biggest mess of my life.

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not much to say but i love y'all for reading my book and comment and vote to see what happens next ❤️