On My Mind {Suspian}

Conflicted

Slowly, she folded the letter. Her mind overflowed with thoughts and her blood burdened with envy. She was conflicted with mixed emotions. She knew she had left an effect on Caspian but she hadn't realised it had been so strong; She also knew he had left an effect on her; Occasionally, he'd appeared in her dreams. They would dance under the incandescent sky and intertwined their hearts with every-step. Their laughter was like symphonies to deafened ears; Gently, they would dance; their eyes wouldn't leave each others until the sun kissed the dawn and made the horizon a vast array of reality. Only then would she wake up and feel empty.

Before she knew it, there was a knock on the door and a shout from her mother, "Susan, it's for you." Abruptly, she rushed downstairs. "Hey darlin' you ready?" Asked the red haired, green eyed figure. Susan smiled, but clenched her fist tight, her nails stabbed her palm like swords in battle. "Let me just grab my coat." Uttered Susan. Confused, She paused momentarily and looked around at her surroundings. "Darlin', You're wearing it." Susans friend giggled. "Oh, Right. Yes." She placed a delicate kiss on her mother's forehead, said her goodbyes and like the wind she was gone with her satchel on one arm and her feelings at her feet. The birds chirped a blissful song and the breathe of nature danced with the auburn leaves. However, her mind was somewhere else.

"What's a matter, you're very sheepish. Did he ask you out again? My brothers just stupid and desperate. He probably means well but no means no, I don't think he understands that when it comes to liking you." She said as if she were concerned. Susan paused, and gathered her words before saying: "Maggie, how do you know if you love someone? And what if you kissed them knowing you would never see them again?" Maggie stopped on the spot. "Is he in the war? Is that why you refuse my brother?"
"He was so handsome, brown hair and brown eyes. A great fighter, ask Peter. A smile from him gave me butter flies," She confessed with an admiration smile plastered on her face. "He treated me like a Queen, and when we kissed, it was like the world just stop. But then.." Before she finished her sentence Maggie had caught up to her. Gleefully, she put forth the idea of writing a letter to Caspian, but Susan knew it was almost impossible. They both cheerfully made their way to the train station, on the walk Susan described Caspian to Margaret; She felt a weight fall of her shoulders and the envy turned into satisfaction.

In the daytime, before the war, the station was a seething mass of humanity. Everyone from every walk of life was shoulder to shoulder, in each other's faces, no personal space, no exceptions. But there is space between the people and somehow that makes it all the more awkward. When it's crowded you take in no information about anyone, they are just things in your way. However, Susan noticed the drained faces of the city. They noticed hers. She found her self judging them for judging her.

Impatiently, They waited on the platform; her right foot was tapping on the shattered floor. Susan turned around and looked at the big clock standing in the middle of the platform. All of a sudden a breath of fresh air danced around her feet and she was suddenly alone dressed in a tight fitting red blazer, yellow tie and a grey skirt. A familiar sound of a bird hummed through her ears. Pinch. "Ouch" she cried.
"Ouch" Lucy echoed.
"Hey stop that you" Shouted Peter.
"I'm not touching you" Chanted Edmund. Immediately, she darted her head to her left and beside her was Lucy smiling like a cheshire cat. She looked right; To her disbelief, Edmund and Peter were stood hand in hand. "Oh Susan, it's happening, like before. We're all here. Oh how wonderful!" Lucy said as happy as a lark.

Cautiously, Susan stepped back. "How are you here?" She asked, but got no reply.
"You're not real. You can't be. Aslan said 'things never happen the same twice.' He told you that Lucy."

Silence.

"Su-Susan. Why are you still stood there?" Screamed an American voice. "The Siren means get to safety not put yourself in danger you young fool."