Amazing Grace (Jonathan Toews)

The Way You Make Me Feel

Jonathan

Life has been a bit rough recently, with Gracie's mom passing then her dad disappearing there's never a loss of something going on around here. She's been feeling really down and I wish I could help. But the only thing that could fix this would be her mother being here and I can't give her that. It's not like she's been bad to be around, I love every single second I spend with her and she's still my wonderful and amazing girlfriend. But she's hurting and not being able to do anything to help sucks. I'm happy we got Sparky because that makes me feel a little better when I have to leave. But the post season was literally right around the corner so I know this wouldn't be getting much easier.

"You don't have to come" I insist as we get ready for a Blackhawks event.

"I want to! I can hang out with Veronica and watch you get recognized by the organization. I need to get out of the house" she insists.

"Well if you really want to come then I would love to have you there with me" I smile.

"I'm there" she assures me.

We get changed and I bring her to the event the Hawks were throwing. They have end of the year awards and they were giving basically everyone awards. It was just a way for us to bond before the season ended and we start a long and hard journey to the playoffs. Get recognized for what we did during the season and turn the page to the next.

I lace my fingers through Gracie's as we walk into a venue. She was wearing a long silver sparkly dress that made her figure so definite. Her long black hair curled and like always she looked amazing. She wore her moms necklace and the charm bracelet I got her but nothing else. No make up and no flashy jewelry, this was her and she was beautiful.

We get in and say hi to everyone. She hadn't been out since her mom passed but a lot of the guys brought cards and flowers for me to give her. She gives everyone a hug and of course cried a little, she knew she would. But I stay by her side to make sure that if she needs me I'll be here. And I will be.

"You look amazing" Veronica admits as she holds Gracie's hands.

"Thank you. I decided to come last minute so this is what I got" she claims.

"If I would have known you were coming I would have waited at your place for you" she insists.

"What? Am I not good enough for you" I tease.

"It was I either left before you or you came with and I got to listen to you argue with my boyfriend the whole time" she accuses and I laugh.

"Okay, you got me there" I admit.

"Well you look amazing" Veronica insists as she turns back to Gracie.

"Thanks. And thank you for being there for me these past few weeks. It means the world to me" she insists.

"Of course sweetie" Veronica smiles.

We sit down at the table and order our dinner. We talk to the people at our table and for the first time in a long time it looked like she was having a lot of fun. She was smiling that smile that made her cheek bones extra sharp and you can see almost every single tooth shine in this dim room. The whole night I kept smiling at her and I just couldn't help it.

"Why do you keep staring at me" Gracie finally asks halfway through the dinner.

"I don't mean to" I defend.

"I know, but we spend so much time together and you're acting like you haven't been able to see me in forever" she claims.

"I haven't seen you like this in forever" I explain.

"Yeah, I guess it's been a while" she sighs. "I'm sor-" she starts but I quickly interrupt her.

"You will not apologize to me for what happened to you or how you feel about it. It's okay to cry, it's okay to not want to leave the house or not talk to anyone. There is no amount of time that would be able to make this any better for you, as much as I hate it there isn't a single thing I can do to make this better. I would give up anything to have your mom back with us again, for you to be able to hear her voice again. I hate that I can't fix this, and I'm not saying that as a hockey player or as a captain or even as your boyfriend, but as your best friend who feels every emotion you do and who feels how hard this is for you. I feel how much you hurt, like when I hold you at night and I can feel you crying. I can hear your heart beating so slow that I'm afraid it will stop. And all I want is for you to feel like you're going to be okay but I can't do that" I explain.

"Baby, you make me feel amazing. You have to know that. Every time you hold me, every time you touch me, hell, every time you look at me I instantly feel good. And when you stare at me, like you've never seen anything better in this whole entire world, I couldn't possibly feel any better" she assures me.

"I haven't seen anything better" I admit and she smiles.

"You're such a sweet talker" she accuses.

"Guilty."

After dinner we settle back in. Things start to feel like they used to be and I'm no longer worried about her being upset or not being connected with everything around us. She's a strong girl and I know we will get through this.

I accept my award for best defensive forward and give a little speech. I thank Patrick for being so bad on defense that it made me step my game up. I thank the coach for kicking my ass in practice so I don't make mental errors in games. And I thank Gracie for giving me a reason to do good and have someone to try and impress.

After a good night with good laughs and good friends it was time to head home. Patrick and Veronica go over to her place and Gracie and I call it a night. We change and brush our teeth before climbing into bed. I pull her into my chest and place a kiss on her forehead.

"Thanks for coming out tonight" I whisper.

"Of course. I had a great time" she admits .

"I did too, thanks to you."