Devil In Her Heart

Dizzy Miss Lizzy

A/N: I'm putting this before incase you don't want to hear my shit afterword's. I love you guys and PLEASE PLEASE don't kill me after this chapter. You guys are great and I hope you enjoy this chapter!! Feedback is always welcome! :) 

Chapter 12;

I laid on my bed, thinking thoroughly about everything in my life. It was all fucked up, leaving John without letting him explain, George, pretending to be someone else so I could date Ringo, as I cheated on him with Paul, not only his band mate... But his friend. I came down, on everyone. I'm like the outbreak of smallpox, nobody considered it dangerous and yet, it screwed over so many people and so many lives. It was sad, I couldn't tell when everything was going to blow up in my face, in everyone's so I could leave before it happens. And now it's worse, because if I do leave it makes it hell compared to if I stayed.

I wanted to run away, from it all. I could sense everything about to blow up in my face, but I couldn't because this was only the beginning of the aftershock. Richie was such a nice guy, he really didn't need this. I felt as if I was the only one in the wrong, like I couldn't fix it. It was just my nature ways. Trouble, seemed to attract me; maybe that's why John and I were such a good match.

I stood at the stove the next morning, chain smoking cigarettes and flipping pancakes. I had already ran up and down the whole block, it was only seven in the morning and I wanted to do something nice for the boys; show my appreciation. "What're ye doin'?" A voice said startling me.

"Cooking breakfast for the lot of ye." I told him, as he got uncomfortable close to me, leaning against the counter and watching me cook.

"Really, smells like yer cooking tobacco, with as many cigarettes ye've been smoking."

"Sometimes," I began stubbing out the cigarette butt. "I like to have a stog or two."

"Or a pack, or two hm? Ye smoke more than Georgie does." He said his eyes skimming my body. "Do I make ye nervous?"

"Yes John, you've broke me. Ye make me bloody nervous as hell. And I can't sleep or eat or barely talk because I'm so fucked up, I'm so confused!" I said hitting the pan.

"Who are you?" John spat at me, coming towards me and cornering me. "Who the fuck are you and why did you know all that shit yesterday. Don't lie to me. Don't you dare."

"Why? Because if I lied to you it would hurt the morals you have for me? John, you'd rather have someone feed you lies and stay, then tell the truth and leave. Don't you get that? And you think it's a choice between the two because the one person who told you the truth and stayed, ended up leaving. But, it was because of you... wasn't it?"

"Fuck you! You don't know shit! Yer stupid and you'd never understand!" John screamed, winding back and punching me in the face. I let out a low groan, but I could barely breath. "Yer a liar!" Another punch to the stomach. "I can't believe you, not anyone! Everyone leaves there's never a fucking happy ending with me! I fuck everything up!" John said throwing my lifeless body to the floor. I tried to catch my breath, if I screamed I'd die, I didn't have enough air to support my breathing. I watched, helpless, as blood pooled around my body and bruises formed everywhere.