What Goes Around Comes Back Around

Chapter 13: Seeing another light.........

(Pic of Shaniah.)

So it's about a year later, after i had Shaniah. So, Tyric's parents was giving me money for me and the baby. But after the 1st month, it's like they had instantly stopped giving me money.

I don't know why though. So, honestly i didn't know how to get some money.

So these whole past months was hell. I got up out of my sleep about 4 times each month. Shaniah's schedule is basically night time is when she wakes up, and morning time is when she falls asleep. I basically tried to get a job ever since, but since i didn't graduate from highschool yet, i couldn't.

So i had to find a way how to earn some money so that me, my baby, and Makayla could still live at the house. I mean, i didn't want to move just yet.

I tried to put my baby in daycare, and the monthly bill for that is like 100's of dollars, and i dont have that type of money.

So sometimes i cry at night because i wanna stay at my house where i grew up, but the bills are to high, and i cant afford anything.

Everytime i go in a store, i always end up trying to steal some food, or just clothes, for me and Shaniah. Makayla has shared some of her clothes with me, but honestly we got two different styles.

Like.... she got that baggy town boyish, yet girly girl style. And i got that girly, but town boyish style.

My weight has gotten back normal. I've been working out at the local gym, and lost about 50 pounds within those 9 months. It was hard, and everything, but i got it. I acually now have a little 4-pack, and i have gotten way thicker. My boobs are medium sized, but my booty is wide.

And Shaniah has a head full of hair, like her mama, and daddy. So i wanted her to have that curly long, natural hair. She is yellowboned, and some of her front row teeth has fallen off. But, i dont know....... i think it's weird though.

So right now, i'm in my feelings on my bed eating some icecream, and listening to (Aaliyah, I miss you) becasue for some reason, i keep thinking about Tyric, and how much i miss him. And how much he should've been there for Shaniah.

People always say, just wait for God. But honestly, i dont thing God care right now. I dont got nobody helping me with food, money, clothes. It's like i'm fucken homeless.

I'm just tired of all this bullshit. Like.... almost like, there isn't no God. He dont care right now, so why should i.

Makayla is at her boyfriend Zerrick's house, and i'm here with Shaniah. She's watching Little Bill, she loves that show. And she's laughing. I see her in the other room. She's wearing a pink onesie over her pamper, and her hair is down.

I shook my head. If only she knew what her mama has to go through. She learned only 2 words, mama, and auntie. But i always end up laughing at how she says it, but it's just so cute how she says it, cause it's in a baby way.

Her eyes is so cute, cause it's like grayish greenish. It's so cute.

So i go in her room, and pick her up. It's 10 in the morning, and both of us haven't ate yet. So i go downstairs, and put her in her high chair.

I take out some fruity pebbles because that's the only thing that she could eat becasue it's soft. Then i take out the milk, and the two bowls, and the two spoons.

Shaniah starts slapping her hands on the chair, and smiling. She looked so cute with her teeth out. I smiled, then kissed her on her cheek. Damn... i'm real lucky to be having her.

"You ready to eat Niah?" i asked her smiling.

She put her right hand in her mouth, and smiled, shaking her head yes.