Complicated Love

This Can't Be Over

//Warning Death and Vivid Suicide

Ciel's Prov.

I wake up early the next morning, next to Alois.

I don't remember going to bed. I was playing chess with Alois in my bedroom, and then he go bored. We ended up laying in my bed and just talking, well he was flirting, but I just ignored that, kind of.

I try to slip away from Alois, but he grabs me and pulls me close to him. My face turns bright red as he does this and I start to think about how much I really want this.

I am holding back temptation. I am extremely attracted to Alois, and it's really hard to hide, but it is frowned upon to love another man. I will not give into something that is so wrong, but I'm finding it really hard to control myself.

I turn to him and look at his still sleeping face. He is beautiful, his lips look so smooth and perfect. I remember the way they feel on mine and I want to feel them more, I want to kiss him more.

Every second that I'm with him, it gets harder not to show my love for him. Eventually I won't be able to hide it anymore. Any second the feeling is going to be unbearable. Any second is now.

I kiss the sleeping boy deeply, not thinking about how wrong it is, or the thought of him possibly waking up. I wanted to feel his lips on mine, so I kissed him more.

I hardly noticed as his hold of me tightened as he brought me closer and kissed me back. It felt as if our lips were made for each other, the kiss was warm and passionate.

When I pull away, we are both blushing deeply. I put my hand through my messy hair and look away.

"Seems like Phantomhive wanted to taste my lips one more time~" he teased.

"I did nothing" I look away, denying my feeling once more.

He pouts and sits up in bed, "Cielll, I want you to tell me that you love me"

I sit up as well, afraid that he is going to start crying, "I didn't do that because I love you, it was lust and nothing more"

I don't know why I continue to lie to him, I want to tell him, I feel like I'll regret it if I don't. I stand up and walk over to the window, looking out at the beautiful sunrise, "Come here, Alois, I want to tell you something"

He walks over and grabs my hands, "What is it, my dear?"

I go to speak and feel a sharp pain in my arm as a bullet goes through it and hits the wall.

My eyes widen and I instantly grab my arm to stop the bleeding, 'Where is Sebastian!?'

Alois and I duck beneath the window in fear, "Alois...I want you to know something"

He pulls me close as I start to become loopy because of the blood loss, "What is it?"

I look at him, "You mean...everything to me, you're so beautiful, your eyes, a perfect shade of blue, like blue crystals, your lips, are so smooth and soft..." I pause for a breath before adding on, "your hair, is so..soft and blonde and perfect, your bubbly always changing personality, everything about you is so imperfectly perfect"

I start to see spots of black and grow more weak, "Alois...I love you...more than anything"

After saying this everything goes black as I hear the shot, that went straight through my head and killed me.

Alois's Prov.

My eyes are wide as I process what has just happened in the last few seconds of my life. I am holding Ciel tightly, though now he is very bloody and very much dead. Out of every imaginable scenario that I went through on my way here yesterday, him getting shot in front of me was never one of them. It was the last thing I could have expected to happen. He can't really be dead, this has to be a nightmare.

I stand up with Ciel, limp in my arms. I carry him over to the bed and lay him on the bed, his blood staining the blankets.

I panic and start laughing as his death becomes too hard for me to handle. I start bawling and cry out, "Ciel...You can't be dead! I finally got you to be mine! Why must I be cursed to be alone?!"

I pull my hair and scream as tears stream down my face. I am unstable, that much I know for a fact. I have always been unstable. I freak out over the smallest of things. Ciel, the love of my life, dying is more than just a small thing. He was my only reason for living in this cruel, unforgiving world. He was the only reason I decided to continue living in this hellhole people call life. Seeing Ciel die right before my eyes, I can't handle it.

I want nothing but to die, I do not want to remain living in this world. Not without Ciel by my side.

I look into the mirror and look at myself, "you don't deserve to live, not without the only thing that saw good in you" I growl to myself and shatter the mirror, grabbing a shard and stabbing it into my arm, sliding it over and screaming in pain.

I then cut all over my body, making sure each cut is deep enough to make myself gush blood. I start to go over to Ciel as I start seeing dark spots in my eyes. "I'll be with you soon, Ciel"

I take the shard and stab myself in the stomach, throwing up blood, almost to weak to move. I then slice my wrist vertically and grab Ciel's hand, knowing there was no way that I'd survive this as my vision goes black and I pass out.

'I never wanted it to end like this'