An Estranged Wife

Letter 3- The First Night!

Dear Love,

The cold has been drastic for days now, I hope you aren't leaving your overcoat at home like always.

If you're, please start taking it along with you because this weather doesn't suit you. You know I discovered something unusual about myself in the noon.

I no longer feel the cold air on my skin. Isn't it a bit strange given that people are freezing outside. And I could cross the night without a quilt or cardigan. Funny! When I couldn't even step out of my place during the winters.

How's your work going? Did you won the new project as the in charge or did once again your Boss played you like always? You might be wondering how I knew it when you never told me, but there is a little thing about me which you don't know.

I'm quite a sneaky one. So apologies for eavesdropping your phone calls. But I was just trying to be aware why Everytime you got mad at me, was I really the reason or it was the work that made you angry?

But anyway I am not trying to make you feel guilty. I'm hoping for you to answer these questions to yourself. More than me, you need to know yourself, because when I remember the first night of our togetherness.

Dressed in red and golden, we took the vows; amidst the smiles we promised to be each other's companion and entered the sacred knot.

But we only entered the bond, just like I entered in your bedroom but not in your life. Ironic! The room was decked up for us, but you were not excited to see me around you.

I still could remember your grudgeful look towards me when everyone left me in your room. Naive as ever, I waited for you to say something. Disappointing enough to my fragile heart, this is what you said the first sentence on our special night.

"Couldn't you have afforded diamond jewelery? Do you know how humiliating it was me in front of my friends? And what was that junk of a lakh your father gave us? Is that what he got to give to his only daughter?"

Tears stung my eyes at your last words. I doubted your potential to understand that no matter what the amount is, a father works days and hours for every single penny.

And you just called his efforts as junk.
You weren't immune to the fact that I belonged to a normal family, then why was the dowry so important to you? Or it was because your friends were married to rich girls. Their fathers were loaded with tons, and your friends received a lot, and you wanted the same. Is that so?

Before I could even reply you, you had grabbed my hand harshly. I was sure when you would leave, there would be finger prints on my skin. I didn't dare to meet your angry eyes.

"Listen to me carefully Pari, if you want to stay here then tell your parents to at least be decent when they send you stuff or else I think it is better for you to not ever visit them. I don't want their begger kind gifts." You added and violently, you pushed me on the bed and sprinted to another corner of the room.

A night that was supposed to be start of our new life was filled with my tears against the decorated bed. The pillow was covered with my tears while sitting on the velvet couch, you gulped alcohol in your system.

I watched through my teary lashes, swallowing my sobs. It was my first day with you, and I expected you to talk to me to know me better, to shower me with your loving touch. I didn't anticipate you to have a brawl with me for a matter as petty as this.

Why didn't you denied your mother for this marriage if you wanted a rich wife to boast amonst your friends? Why, Love?

To keep your honour intact in front of your family, you lowered my and my family's pride.

Yes we aren't rich as you but we aren't immature like you.

My arms hurted then, and even now they hurt from all your blows on my body.

Hours later, I felt the bed dipping that night, and you were behind me. You draped your arm around me, and pulled me to yourself inhaling me.

I wasn't expecting you to embrace me, but you did. For a second, I forgot all the differences we had and let you hold me. Your lips moved against my neck, and I could feel your alcoholic breath clearly.

I tried to pull away from you, and when I finally did, you screamed at me. I flinched because apart from you, no one had ever shouted so rudely at me.

"You're drunk. And I'm not ready for taking another step yet," were my words to you. Trust me, I wouldn't have stopped you if you wouldn't have pulled that stunt with me initially. I was hurt by you, and I wanted you to understand that I have a right to deny you. You can't just have your way with me.

It was a mistake I made, when the next second, a stinking slap met my cheek. The sound was so deafening, so paralysing, that I almost fell numb. But due to that slap, I fell hardly on the floor, hurting my sides.

I thought you would come to help, but you didn't, Love. I sat there trying to get up, but you didn't move. Why?

Couldn't you have helped your wife if you hurt her purposely? Yes, you didn't loved me, but what did I do to deserve this?

Till date, I am waiting to know the answer. Do you have one?

"Why did I even marry an illiterate middle class girl like you who doesn't know what is a wife's duty?"

You shouted loudly; my already hurting heart ached more, Love. It did. Yes, I wasn't equal in education as you, because I couldn't afford it but I wasn't even a nuisance.

You had the power to deny because you're a man, and no one would have scolded you for rejecting me. But I had the society to answer.

You know if I rejected you then they would have said, maybe I am having an affair or maybe, I don't like seeing my parents happy because I want to continuously burden them. No one would have said you anything because you're a male.

Why you didn't take the step that was essential for you?

It's you who had all the rights but it's you who did the wrong.

You slept off after cursing me, while slowly I helped myself up. I walked to the washroom, and stared at myself in the mirror. Suddenly in few hours, I couldn't recognize myself.

Is that possible?

This girl wasn't Pari. She was someone else.

I rubbed my face, and hands hysterically; removed my veil and jewelry with shaking hands. Washed my face in urgency. When the remnants of the black smudged Kohl were gone, I smiled again feeling myself.

I really did smiled whole heartedly that night and lived my last smile.

After that it was only the hollow me with a hollow you.

The hollow Us! Or you converted the lively me into a hollow me because you yourself were a concave mess.

Until next time.

Your Wife,
Pari.

How was the chapter guys? What do you think of all the middle class girls who see this?

Please do votes and comments.