An Estranged Wife

Chapter 2- The Seed of Remorse!

Seconds turned into minutes.

Neither did he move, nor he bat an eyelash; he stood transfixed watching his wife's back which had slumped with her revelation. Suddenly, everything seemed so drastically wrong; his existence seemed the worst mistake but more than that his battered ego seemed the deadliest weapon he ever held which didn't snatch away anything but his better half as well as his unborn child.

It was blurry at first but then the damn broke from his eyes like a waterfall mingling with the sea. On contrary, he didn't mingle with his sea instead he was thrown far apart and unable to take the trauma of his guilty conscience, a shrilling shriek escaped his lips as he surrendered in front of the woman who had unleashed his dead soul.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh,"

Pari turned around hearing his loud cry echo in her two-room house in the same intensity with which she had broken the night she stepped into her parent's home again. She hadn't cried for the man in front of her, she had cried for herself in the true sense that night for the cruel fate she had. But more than that she had cried for sticking to her vain hope of ever being able to change Sameer.

And today here he was crying on his knees hiding his face in his palms.

A human was crying then for the endless sins he committed which had cost him the life of their little one.

"You were right I'm a monster. I killed our baby. I killed you with my hands," He mumbled between his hysterical cries as she watched him shed tears for her and their child. She didn't know what had caused this transformation in him suddenly, but all she knew that he was going through a mental breakdown.

"You should go back, Sameer. There is nothing to talk or give. It's over. We're over. Let me live my life peacefully now."

She said looking away from his broken form. She needed space from him, for she knew the pain of losing their baby would want them to comfort the other. Even though it was created in the most brutal ways but still it was a part of them.

As if he didn't even hear her, he crawled near her and wrapped his arms around her waist and hid his face in her belly apologizing repeatedly. Pari remained unaffected by his action; she was lost in her world of thoughts which still had him as their topmost companion.

If people believed that forgetting someone is easy, then they surely needed to get their heart broken and see if that's possible. One can move away from their past always, but one can never let it go entirely for it's a part of you and something which is yours can never slip away even if you want.

Either through memories or either through anyone reminding you, it comes back.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know I'm the worst man on this planet, Pari. What I had done to you is not just a sin, its beyond that. But punish me in any way you want, but don't hold yourself in this agony alone. Let me be a part of it until you feel that you have given me every amount of hurt I deserve." He said, and she remained frozen.

When she didn't even move, he stood up and with his head bowed he stated, "I don't even know why I did, what I did or how we ended up like this, but I know that I'm responsible for your suffering. And I'd pay the price all my life like you want."

"Why this sudden change? You never cared before then why are you bothered if I suffer or di.....,"

Sameer clasped his hand on her mouth before she could complete the word, shocking her. He looked like a truck was about to hit him; the dread that filled in his eyes then gave out some hidden untold story that she might've never known.

"Don't even bring that word for yourself, please."

Not wanting his touch on her anymore, she removed his palm and gave her back to him.

Taking the cue that she wasn't interested in his actions, but reasons to care for her, he started, "The morning after you left when I woke up in the hotel room, it was all scattered. My head hurt badly; I didn't understand for a few minutes what actually happened until my eyes went on the blood on sheets. Everything came back to me and as every memory hit me hard, I found it difficult to breathe. I never wanted to force myself on you. I won't deny that your denial to consummate our marriage always got to me but I always thought that like every other girl it was an attempt to not become a young mother. My all friend's wife did the same because they wanted to run away from responsibilities; I thought you had the same belief. You wanted to enjoy my money, but you didn't want to be my wife in the true sense."

Furious to hear his petty excuse, she turned and gave him another two slaps.

"Do you have a habit of always judging things? Don't you have a goddamn mouth to at least ask me my problem? Like a pathetic fool, you made up your mind that I married you for your stupid money. Didn't I tell you enough that I loved you? Don't you have eyes to see?"

"I know all this now. Please hear me fully at least and then you can slap me as much as you want. I won't stop you." He pleaded making her glare at him ten times more angrily than she was already.

She sat on the bed, far away from his reach and he stood at the window side looking out at the yard where they had their first meet.

"The more I looked around the hotel room, the more your memories tortured me. Not able to take any more, I rushed out of the room as fast as I could. I kept running not even watching where I was going until I ended up in front of a slum. To my dismay, a man was beating a woman there and she was begging for him to stop. She bled, he hit; and there was no one to hear her cries. There was no one who came to help her; once the man left, the woman laid on the ground in dirt all broken and scattered. Suddenly, she stood up with a start and dashed to the nearby river. I ran after her, afraid that she would jump in it but before I could catch her, she jumped. My hand stayed hanging in the air calling for help but I couldn't reach out. And then the man appeared again, but to my disbelief, it wasn't someone else but I in my worst forms."

"I panicked because the woman was you. You committed suicide and I couldn't do anything. My voice didn't come out and a fog appeared in front of me. Out of nowhere, my Dad came. I wanted to hug him and ask for forgiveness, but he didn't look in my way, he looked in the river. The words he said didn't kill me, they killed my ego in a go."

He finished in a hollow voice turning around to see her tears trickling down her cheeks.

"What did he say?" She asked curiously.

Taking a deep breath, he walked towards her, and answered emotionlessly, "He said: You're worse than your mother."

I'm giving short chapters in this book so that you all can give your comments for every point that is brought forward. Hope Its fine. 

Psychologically, when you do things you don't want to do, they affect your mind in a way that they take the route of imaginations and start to haunt you. Same has happened with Sameer, which made him realize that how many crimes he has done. 

Rest will be revealed in the next part. 

Reasons or no reasons, this book is not a fairy tale nor a happy ending. It's going to be beyond that. So please be patient. 

So what do you all think of the chapter? Do give your votes and opinions.