the tables have turned | steve/bucky

prologue (continued)

Bucky and I stood up all night after dinner. We talked about the future mostly.

Bucky said that he wanted to meet someone, preferably with blonde hair and blue eyes, and he wanted to have one son and one daughter and live in a big house in the suburbs with a dog and friendly neighbors. I told him that I just wanted to live.

He frowned, being reminded of how sick I really was. So many times I was close to death, but Bucky never lost hope. He always was by my side, insisting that I'd get better. Even as adults, when I was bedridden he'd stay home with me all day and tell me stories of war. When I was too weak to walk, he'd carry me up and down the stairs, convincing me that I was a soldier wounded in combat; that I shouldn't feel bad for needing his help. Bucky was constantly there for me, and he always believed that I'd get better. But his hope was dwindling. I could see it in his eyes.

We sat quietly in the kitchen for a moment. Bucky expressionlessly stared at the table. I was fighting to stay awake with him. I lost that battle.

I briefly awoke in Bucky's arms sometime later. He was carrying me up to my room. This happened regularly, so I prepared to snuggle back into his chest and fall asleep again. That's when I heard his soft sobs. I glanced up at him. His face was partially highlighted in the darkness, but it was only when he got closer to the light that I could see tears cascading down his cheeks.

Bucky was speaking to himself in a hushed tone; his voice so gentle that it was barely audible. I listened carefully.

"I can't lose you, Steve." he quietly said, "You're the air that I breathe."

I never got to ask him what he meant by that. But he probably doesn't remember, anyway.

___

So if you asked me, Captain America, who the most incredible man I knew was, of course I wouldn't hesitate to answer. As said before: out of all the men I've met in my unusually extended life, out of the war heroes and space gods, I would only categorize one as incredible.

His name was Bucky Barnes.