How Did It End Up Like This?

Chapter Ten

A/N: Still some triggers at the beginning of this chapter.

I would like to remind you all that in no way am I romanticizing depression for the reads or the interesting story. I want to show people that even though you have hard times and feel like you're not worthy to be alive or have other thoughts similar to that, life will get better. You're just going through a rough patch, but the hill will go upwards once more.

I myself suffer from depression and have tried similar stuff to Taehyung in this story. Depression is not a joke.

End of rant. Enjoy the chapter. I apologize for the tears you might shed.

"I remember it now, it takes me back to when it all first started
But I've only got myself to blame for it, and I accept that now
It's time to let it go, go out and start again
But it's not that easy"

Jungkook stood outside Taehyung's bedroom. He wasn't sure whether he should knock or call out his name or both. He had heard the older come home, and he desperately wanted to apologize. He was angry and bitter but he should've never triggered Taehyung. He knew how fragile the boy is. He decided to do both. He knocked on the door while calling his name softly.

"Taehyung?" The volume rose up slightly as he started to feel a little more panicked. "Tae, why aren't you opening the door? Please, I want to talk to you. I'm sorry."

He pressed his ear to the door, hearing nothing on the other side. "Taehyung? I'm coming in." He turned the handle, but the door didn't open. Why did he lock it? Oh, fuck. "Kim Taehyung!" He kicked the door now. "I'm going to break this door down if you don't answer."

After waiting a few seconds for an answer and hearing nothing, he backed away from the door before running to it, his shoulder in the way. The door swung open from the impact. Jungkook fell to the ground, wincing slightly at the discomfort. It always had looked so easy in the movies.

"Tae?" He eyed the room as he stood up, feeling a sense of uneasiness washing over him. His eyes landed on the bathroom. He saw that the light was on, so he went closer. "Taehyung, I'm coming in to the bathroom."

He heard a faint whimper, which only caused the younger to open the door. His heart almost stopped at the sight of Taehyung, razor blade in hand, and blood seeping out of his wounds.

"Oh, fuckity fuck. Tae!" Jungkook raced to Taehyung's body, throwing the blade away first and foremost. He grabbed the towel and tried to wrap it tightly around his wrists.

Taehyung opened his eyes slightly. "Please, Kookie." His words were slurring, but Jungkook still understood every word, and it crossed him over to the breaking point. "Please just let me die."

"No no no no," Jungkook tried to stop the tears from flowing, unsuccessfully. He raised Taehyung up carefully, resting the older's head on his shoulder. He rocked them back and forth in hopes of calming him down. "If I let you die, how would we ever get to be together again?" He swept some hair out of Taehyung's eyes. "I can't live without you, Tae."

Taehyung pulled his head back to look Jungkook in the eyes. "Do you mean all of that?"

Jungkook nodded as he planted soft kisses on Taehyung's tear-stained cheeks. "I love you so much. You might not want to be with me anymore, but I can never see myself with anyone but you. You heal the broken part inside of me. You're the tape and glue that puts me back together."

Taehyung, whose head still felt heavy from the loss of blood, rested it on Jungkook's chest. He listened to the younger's heart beat. It was a steady beat, and it comforted him enough to lull him to sleep.

••
Taehyung woke up in his bed. Bandages covered his wrists, and an exhausted-looking Jungkook sat in his same spot on the floor, gripping Taehyung's hand. He smiled, still sleeping high off of the feeling, his lungs still breathing in the clean air. Maybe it was Jungkook who gave him this feeling? He couldn't be sure.

"I love you, too, Kookie." Taehyung mumbled softly, before feeling his eyes close again out of exhaustion.

••
Angst should be overwith for a while? We'll see. 🤷🏼‍♀️

{edited}