Ring The Alarm

The Sweetest Taboo

Robyn // 12/23/00 // NYC

"Word? That's fucked up, g. Sorry to hear that." Dave ashed his blunt as we continued to paint my new place of business. The crack and weed that I was dealing got me here. But, that crack also caused me to lose my baby.

"Yeah, I think she's done with me forever. I fucked up, big time." I took a pull of my joint, putting the final paint coat on the walls.

"So, she saw the crack and flipped out? Did you tell her why you had it?" David asked me as I put the joint out, tucking it behind my ear.

"I told her I was holding it for somebody, I wouldn't do that shit on my worst days. She flipped out because of some childhood shit with her and her moms." I sat the paint roller down. My head was going to start hurting if I thought back to what happened that day.

"You had the baddest chick in the game in ya hands, Rob." He finished with his side then turned around and shook his head at me.

"Nigga, what you mean had? I still got her. She ain't going nowhere, fuck you think this is?" My tone was more aggressive then I intended it to be.

"Yeah, ight. What you doing for Christmas?"

"Not a thing. I don't feel like dealing with my moms and pops yet. I miss my girl. I barely fuck with anyone back in Cali." To really think about it, my life was a fucking mess. Hearing those words from my own mouth made me realize I'm fucked up. One fucked up ass college student.

"Aw, don't be so down about it, nigga. Look on the bright side, you just bought this fire ass space. You can turn it into anything you wish! It's not like ya people ain't got the money to start you off-"

"I don't want any help with my business. I'm grown, so I'll handle all my shit on my own. The drug money has me well off for about another year or so. That's all the time I need to get this bitch up and running. After that, I'm quitting school 'cause that shit ain't nothing but a hold back." I took a deep breath, and the growl of my stomach made me aware of how long I've been neglecting my personal needs. David was too busy on his phone to hear.

"Take it one step at a time. I'm bouta dip tho, my girl just texted me." He walked over to the flimsy coat rack that came with the spot and grabbed his coat. After dapping me up, he began to leave.

"Be safe, nigga. Call me when you make it in safe!" I yelled as he made his way out of the door, bumping his fist in the air.

The crisp air flooded in as the glass door closed after Dave. I shivered, grabbing my own coat and keys to lock up.

This is how I was spending my Christmas; working my feelings away. It was the only way I knew how to properly channel my negative energy anyways.

The blonde plagued my thoughts as I walked down the crowed streets of NYC. The snow was relentless with its arrival, and I couldn't be more thankful. I loved the cold weather more than anything....not more than her, but you get the picture.

There were so many restaurants to choose from, but I settled on an old time Italian pizza place.

The contrast of atmospheres felt so good. The smell of the tomato sauce marinating in the dough ran across my nose. I was beyond hungry, and my order was going to speak exactly for how my stomach felt.