His Medicine

2. Fear

Feeling a sudden touch on my hands, my subconscious mind alerted me which made me flinch, opening my eyes. But a sigh of relief escaped my mouth seeing a smiling a Jisoo looking at me.

" Good morning Y/N " she smiled creasing lines on the side of her eyes, as she stood by my side next to the bed.

I smiled. Since i met her, she always managed to made me feel at ease from all the burden inside my head with her sweet personality.

" It's already morning? i can't feel it. It's like the same here "

" Don't worry Y/N, you just have to heal up quickly, then you can get out of this place and feel the sun. " she said in a encouraging tone.

I gave a sad smile. But if you had any idea, i couldn't even think off going anywhere other than here, because i was afraid he.. he could easily find me. Even i wasn't sure if he had already traced me out or just waiting outside this room for me to come out. I couldn't afford to get caught by him. I was rather ready to die in this room where no one would guess the time than to get caught by him.

I love the sun, but unfortunately the sun isn't meant for me.

After a while, after checking a paper attached to a board hanging by the bed, she left saying the doctor would come any time for the check up.

Doctor..

Dr. Park Jimin..

I didn't want to see him, his presence gave me so mixed up feelings. On one hand, just seeing him, all the past incidents flashed into my mind like a movie scene, painful enough for people to cry, but eventually i was too numb for that. At the other hand, seeing him near always made me feel safe. I knew he wouldn't let anything happen to me, may it be out of pity or mere pity or respect to the moments we shared. I somehow, knew he wouldn't let anyone harm me. It was like poison which is able to destroy any other of it's kind. But somehow, i needed that poison. No matter how fast it could destroy my organs or destroy the functionality of my brain, body. It was making me think hard, which one was not likely to take my life first, that's the thing i was going for. No doubt by seeing him yesterday , i died inside and also got alive to die for the second time. Maybe , the other one could make me broken physically, but nothing could compared to the venom that Jimin could offer just by looking at me. But my mind and body were too tired to be attacked physically.

Maybe, people would feel pity at me or sympathize me thinking i couldn't face any more brutal attack than the way i was, but if people knew, i died the day i never loved you left his perfect lips . From that day, i'd been dying everyday. But the brutal death was ,when hiding in the corner of his wedding venue, i heard him saying the vows to her. After that, i stopped pitying myself. For that reason, i should thank him, the man , the reason why i was here. He managed to make me forget all these by almost replacing them with new bruises and cuts . But such a pity, that managed to distract my mind only for the time the scars were visible. I would like to met him someday, thanking him.

But now that i'd now ended up away from him, i couldn't let him to get me anymore. I would leave this place, this city, this country and this planet if that could ever be possible. It could be much easier if God could just let me die. But such agony, i was still alive, maybe He was waiting to give me another reason to live.

I'd read and heard so many stories of people giving up life to get relief from the pain that they couldn't endure any more. But even after all these, this thought never happened to knock my mind. Something giving me strength to keep going because somehow i believed in the value of life.

As i was on my own mind , a cracking sound informed someone's upcoming presence. And i somehow knew who it could be. So i didn't bother to look after the person.