Coming Home (A Ricky Wilson Fanfic)

Chapter 43.

- Jaime's point of view -

As I stepped into the familiar bar, my heart was pounding in my ears. My breathing quickened and I felt my legs get heavy. I was scared as hell that I would pass out at any minute. "Jaime?" I looked over to my right and saw Ben coming up to me. I felt the urge to turn around and run away, but my feet were glued to the floor. Before I even realised what was happening two big arms pulled me into a bone crushing fatherly hug. "I can't believe you're really here" he whispered into my ears. I couldn't move or speak. When he finally let me go I saw tears glistening in his eyes. "Come, sit down." Ben said walking towards a booth. It was only then I noticed the cane in his hand and the limp in his right leg. Guilt washed over me and again I wanted to flee. Instead I followed him and sat down. I looked over my shoulder and saw that Ricky had taken a seat at the bar. "May I grab a beer Ben?" He asked. I watched Ben nod his head not taking his eyes off of me.

"It's so good to see you, love. I've been worried sick, thought you had died." I looked down at his words. I didn't know what to say to him. "James, after everything that happened..." It was at this point my spirit broke and I decided to let everything go. "Everything that happened is my fault Ben. That cane you're walking with is my fault. Your leg is my fault. What happened to Mary is my fault. And here you are, treating me like an innocent long lost daughter. You're still being that lovable old man and I just can't bare it." Tears rolled down my face and I didn't bother to wipe them away. "James, I don't blame you for anything." Ben said grabbing my hands in his. "You were in a bad place and I know you didn't want any of it to happen. That bloke who attacked me is the one responsible." I looked up at him, "I thought he had killed you. I..." my voice cracked and I couldn't get any more words out. "It's okay, love. I'm still here and you're as well. That's all that matters."

We sat in silence for a couple of minutes before Ricky joined us. He sat beside me handing me a beer. "I thought you could use one" he said smiling. Ben looked between the two of us with a knowing look in his eyes. "What?" I asked, finding my voice again. "Oh nothing..." he replied grinning from ear to ear. I opened my mouth to tell Ben not to lie when the door behind me opened. A familiar voice called out, "Sorry I'm late gaffer, I got stuck in traffic." I stood up before anyone could react. I rushed forward and slapped my hand across his face. "What the fuck are you doing here?!" Two big brown eyes looked at me in horror. "J. How? When?" "You have a lot of nerve showing up here. Get out! GET OUT!" I screamed at his face. Dean stepped back still staring at me. I rushed forward, my fists balled ready to strike. At that point two arms were wrapped around my waist and I was pulled back. "LET ME GO!" I bellowed. "Jaime, calm down" Ricky said. "I won't calm down until this fucker is gone!" Ben limped forward. "He's not going anywhere James."

It took me quite a while to regain my self-control. Ben and Dean sat across from me and Ricky and explained the situation. "When I was released from prison I came here to apologise to Ben and Mary. At first, Ben wouldn't talk to me and it took me a few months to gain his trust." Dean said. I snorted not looking at him. Dean pretended not to hear me. "I told him the same thing I'm going to tell you; I should've stopped listening to Jeremy a long time ago, but he had me in the palm of his hand." "Don't say that name." I snapped. "I'm sorry." "You're sorry? Don't make me laugh Dean. You and him have made my life a living hell and all you can say is you're sorry?" Dean didn't reply. "That's what I thought." "Jaime, that's enough!" Ben interrupted loudly. "Ricky, why don't we go upstairs and let the two of them work it out." Ricky reluctantly followed Ben.

After about ten minutes of silence Dean shifted in his seat. "Well..." he started. I immediately stepped in "Dean, don't. I don't want to hear your excuses and I most certainly won't forgive you." Dean looked at me with a sadness in his eyes. "I won't ask you for forgiveness. I know I've done wrong and I can't make that right. I can't make you like me if you don't want to." I didn't expect Dean to be this open, still there was this feeling of hate towards him that wouldn't go away so easily. "There's just one more thing I'd like to say J." I sighed. "What is it?" "If there's anything I can help you with, you need only ask" he said. "Why the fuck would I need your help?" I questioned getting more annoyed with this conversation. "They won't notice, but I can tell when you've been using J." My eyes grew wide in shock. "Please, don't tell them."