Only Love -CMBYN-

Chapter 6

Elio

About 5 days later

After the day I arrived, I ended up being ill for ages. I do feel a lot better now but I ended up missing a few interviews and exploring New York. 

Jenny mostly took care of me since Oliver was at work, but now Jenny and I seem to be getting along really well. I'm trying to push through the jealousy and it's getting ever so slightly easier to be around her. 

Oliver on the other hand, he's being annoyingly distant. That somehow hurts more than the jealousy. He seems to try to get out of any sort of conversation with me. Every time I walk into a room he seems too find any excuse to leave.

Jenny hasn't noticed, but I have. I don't understand why he would invite me here if he was going to act this way. I haven't done anything to him, he was the one that left me in the first place. He was the one who decided to get married. He was the one that didn't tell me he was going to get married. 

Why the hell am I paying these consequences of his actions?

Ellie and I get along really well. So far she is my favorite thing about this trip. I read to her as often as possible and I've tried teaching her little sayings in Italian. She still doesn't pronounce my name correctly but it's the most adorable thing ever. 

Today though, I'm going to meet one of my potential roommates. It's the thing I least want to do, but otherwise I have a whole day in the house alone. Well, Oliver is going to be there, but I might as well be alone because of how little we talk.

It's currently 4 AM and I can't get back to sleep. I'm so incredibly nervous for today. How do I make people like me? What if all my potential roommates hate me and I have to live on my own? I don't know how to cook! I'll probably die if I have to live alone.

Maybe that was slightly over dramatic, but what do I do?

Finally I give up and realise I'm definitely not getting anymore sleep tonight. As I'm sitting up, I hear some shuffling around downstairs. Probably just someone getting a drink of water. 

I trudge down the stairs slowly, trying to make the least noise possible and continue walking to the living room. I only bring a book with me downstairs, to read for a couple of hours. As I go to sit on the sofa, I notice that someone is already lying there. 

"Oliver? What are you doing down here?"

He freezes for a moment before replying, "Jenny was snoring loudly and I couldn't sleep."

"Ohhh.." I say before realising I hadn't heard her snoring at all while I've been awake. "But I haven't heard her at all..?" I question once more and notice him pause again.

"She was fidgeting, too?" It comes out sounding more like a question but I ignore it. Nodding, I sit on an armchair that has a lamp near by, so I can read with better lighting.

He looks at me with a questioning look as I shuffle around, getting more comfortable. "I couldn't sleep." I say without emotion. Believe it or not, this is the most we've talked since I arrived here. I was also kind of pissed about that, not that I'll bring it up. I'll just end up sounding like a whiny little bitch, and I don't think that's the impression I want to give off to him.

He nods and stays silent for a couple of minutes and I think he's fell asleep. Suddenly he speaks up and I jump in fright.

"Why can't you sleep?"

I try my hardest not to glare at him, and give the simplest, most honest reply I can.

"Lot's of things. The main one is trying to figure out how to get people to like me."

Suddenly notice how childish and embarrassing that sound, I mentally face palm. I accidentally almost copy the action in real life but manage to stop myself. 

Oliver raises an eyebrow slightly, looking quite concerned about my actions.

"People already like you, Elio. You don't have to try. You didn't for me. I liked you and your smart ass ways."

"Asshole." I roll my eyes, but I couldn't help but pay attention to how he says 'liked'.

"I like you now because you didn't change yourself. You still stayed yourself and I admire that." Oliver continues and I can't help but to melt on the inside. My mouth curves into an unintentional smile.

Why does he always have this effect on me?

"So I guess what I'm saying is, don't change yourself. Let people know you, for you. No one is worth losing your uniqueness for." He finishes and sits up, looking at me. 

I felt my face heat up, not used to him talking to me, or even looking at me. The words he said make sense, and I decide I will listen to them.

After a few moments, he finally looks away and I can hardly breathe. His gaze feels as if all the walls of the room are closing in. 

I wish I could just get over my stupid, intense feelings for him, more than ever in that moment. It hurts so much, I can barely take it anymore.

"Thank you." I manage to choke out, still trying to recover. Why can't I just act normal around him?

He smiles at me and I smile back. 

"Oliver?"

"Yes, Elio?"

"I'm sorry."

Oliver looked at me with both a confused and shocked expression. "For what?"

"For doing whatever I did that made you want to ignore me. I know that what happened between us has made it difficult to stay friends, but I'd rather you be angry at me than ignore me."

He looks at me sadly, like he doesn't know what to say to me. 

"You can sleep in my bed if you'd like?" I offer, changing the subject. It's not like I'm going to be going back to bed. "I'm not letting you sleep on the sofa and end up hurting your back. 

"That's yours, Elio, I can't. He says.

"Please? Let me do one thing to say thank you for letting me stay." I say firmly, not backing down. 

"Fine. You're a pain in the ass, you know?" He laughs quietly before standing up and stretching. "Goodnight." Oliver says, walking away. Before he fully leaves the room, he pauses, before turning to me.

"For the record, you didn't do anything wrong."  

I smile, feeling as if this whole exchange has lifted several weights off of my shoulders. "Goodnight, Oliver." I say as he walks up the stairs.

As the sun begins to rise and  I curl up with my book, I'm feeling the more content than usual.

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