Only Love -CMBYN-

Chapter 8

Elio

Oliver's words hurt. But deep down, I know there's a truth to them. I just need to know why he didn't tell me during our time together, that he might be getting married in the near future. 

"Okay, you know what? I get it. I won't bring this up again. I won't talk to you and you won't talk to me. I'll continue staying here for the next few weeks, and after that, you'll never hear from me again. Is that what you want?" I ask. I close my eyes, bracing myself for the answer that I knew I was about to receive.

"Yes. That's what I want." 

No matter what I could have done to brace myself for that answer, It would not have softened the blow enough. Fuck, did it hurt. I couldn't reply for a few moments, trying to let the words sink in. They seemed to be stuck to my skin, burying themselves in.  

"Then tell me why. Tell me why you didn't give enough of a damn to tell me." I spat out, looking at him with the emotions of pure fury and sadness. He looked at me as if I was crazy. Was I crazy? Most definitely. Even though the words were like a form of torture, my curiosity got the better of me each time and I needed to know. 

Oliver stayed quiet before replying. "At first, I didn't think I would grow as close to you as I did. I thought it would be some, meaningless fling. An experiment, even. The closer we got, the more scared I became that you would hate me. That you would never talk to me again. Then it was time for me to leave. My emotions and my feelings for you got the better of me. I was selfish, and a coward."

His guilt ridden face seemed to pity me, and I hated it. I was now satisfied that he had told me the truth. It wasn't what I wanted to hear, but I had closure. Finally, maybe I can get over him.

"So what happens now?" He asks. With those words, I could punch him then and there.

"Nothing. I don't speak to you, you don't speak to me. After I leave, no more phone calls, unless you're talking to my parents. I don't want any more to do with you, Oliver. I just want to get over you. I wanted closure and now I have it." I say with little to no emotion. 

I stand up and turn around, about to leave. Oliver speaks up in a quiet whisper, "I'm sorry, Elio."

I walk out of the kitchen, ignoring him, and up to my room. As soon as I close the door behind me, my back presses against the cool wood and I feel the tears fall again. My knees seem weaker than ever and a moment later, I'm not even standing any longer.

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I can't tell how long I'm sat there, crying, with my knees pressed to my chest. Eventually, the tears come to an end, but I still can't bring myself to move from the spot.

I'm meant to be going to that interview today, which starts at 4 PM. It's not a formal thing, I think it'll be more like a casual hang out. Who knows? I might make a friend. 

The clock on the wall reads 2:30 PM and I decide I should take a quick shower.

The water falls down on my back, rinsing away the tears on my already dampened face. The water relieves some of the tension that seems to fill my body, and I finally feel as if I can think clearly. The thoughts of Oliver are still there, but not yelling at me urgently. I want to hate him. I almost hate him. There's something holding me back, but at least now instead of wanting to run into his arms, I want to never see his face again.

For once, I actually may be able to get over my idiotic, unrequited feelings towards him.

I cut the water off, stepping onto the cold tiled flooring. I dry my hair as much as I can, letting it air dry afterwards and wrap the towel around my torso. 

Opening the door to the landing, I hear Oliver walk up the stairs. I pass him while walking to my room, I barely even look at him. His eyes are burning into me as I turn to close the door, I look directly at him before closing the door harshly.

I'm such a child, but he deserves to have to deal with my tantrums. After all, he caused them.

The clothes I had picked out, lay flat on my bed. A pair of jeans with turned up ankles, a black sweater and a jean jacket. 

As I look once more, the quick shower I had wanted to take, ended up lasting half an hour. Probably because I had tried to scrub away Oliver. Away from my mind, my emotions, my body. I'm sick of being vulnerable to him. I don't want to be seen as easy prey for him to mess around with.

Once I'm finally ready, I pull on my shoes, grab my wallet and go downstairs. Oliver isn't there, thankfully. I can't cry anymore today. 

I leave the house as quick as possible, hoping not to see Jenny either. The place I'm meeting the guy is fairly local, meaning I don't have to worry about being late. 

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After a few hours of talking and hanging out with the potential roommate, I head back. His name is Adam and I can tell already that even if we don't become roommates, we could definitely be friends.

I really just want to go to bed after the massive outburst this morning. It's fairly late anyways so hopefully I can just sneak in and go straight upstairs.

The door is already unlocked so I just lock it behind me. I take my shoes off and notice that downstairs is vacant. They must all be in bed already and I'm thankful for that.

I grab a glass of water and head upstairs. A faint glow is visible from Oliver's study and I hesitate in the hallway.

I want to talk to him and pretend what happened this morning never happened. I wish everything could be less hostile.

Now it's like we're both circling eachother, being defensive. One wrong move and an even bigger explosion will occur.

The light from inside the office switches off and I dash into my room, wanting to avoid any sort of confrontation. I lean against the door, trying to not make a sound and footsteps become louder. They come to a sudden stop outside my bedroom door and I can almost feel Olivers prescence.

I close my eyes and hold my breath as a couple of fleeting words are spoken. The wooden floors creak as Oliver leaves my door and I can breathe at last.

The other bedroom door closes shut and the few words that linger replay slowly in my head.

The glass clinks against against the wooden desk and I change quickly before rushing to bed.

I almost feel dizzy from the effect of the few syllables that the other mumbled and I can't help but wonder if he wanted me to hear them.

"I'm sorry,

Oliver."

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Hey guys! Sorry for a large gap! I've been busy recently and I'm about to go back to school! I will upload as often as possible but it could mean shorter chapters or less frequent uploads.

I had a bit of writers block recently but I managed to motivate myself to post. I'm not very proud of this chapter and I've been procrastinating uploading it.

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