Only Love -CMBYN-

Chapter 11

Oliver

Last night had been some sort of hell on earth that I couldn't escape. Waking up seemed to make it even more surreal, especially when I joined Elio and  Ellie downstairs to hear the words I hadn't heard in so long.

"Is it better to speak, or to die?"

I didn't know to respond in that moment, everything seemed to stop and all I could seem to do is stare back at him. It was almost impossible to regain an ability to use my limbs again. I stood up straighter, deciding to try and escape the situation. 

"C'mon Ellie, you need to get dressed." 

I managed to finally speak. I outstretched my hand for her to grab. After a moment of deliberating, I decided to invite Elio along. 

"Would you like to join us, Elio? I just realised you haven't done any tourism. You can't come to New York and not visit the Statue of Liberty."

I laughed nervously, hoping that it would ease the building tension in the room. He stared at me, furrowing his eyebrows for a moment, before nodding silently. He seemed to move cautiously, as if I was playing a trick on him.

Elio rushed past me and up the stairs to get ready. I smiled slightly to myself before the realisation of everything that had happened in the past 12 hours set in. The internal freak out started immediately. That was possibly one of the dumbest ideas I've ever had. He might not have heard what happened last night, but it still happened and now I was casually inviting him on a tour of New York? What the hell is wrong with me?

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About three or so hours later we were all in the car, Ellie in her car seat in the back, Elio shotgun and I was driving. Aromas of coffee and sandwiches filled the car as we pulled up to the ferry for the Statue of Liberty. Ellie and Elio were both as excited as each other, I couldn't help but smile to myself. I helped Elio get her out of car seat, and as I locked up the car, they both rushed to the entrance. I paid for 3 round trips and we all took our seats together. 

Ellie fidgeted around a lot, before finally climbing onto my lap, trying to get a better view out of the window.

"I think  she's more excited to go than you are, and she's been here 3 times before."

I joked, turning to Elio who was deep in thought.

He immediately looked back at me, relaxing his features into a more familiar grin.

"I really don't understand where she gets all her energy from, it's as if you're secretly giving her 20 cups of coffee a day. She needs to start sharing."

Elio replied, laughing with me.

Ellie suddenly jumped from me, to Elio, and smushed her face up against the window, mouth open wide.

"She's going to hate it when you leave, Elio."

I leaned over to him, whispering slightly so my daughter wouldn't hear me and begin crying uncontrollably.

"So will I."

Was what I wished I could say, but I knew I couldn't. I didn't want to give him the wrong idea, no matter how much it hurt to not speak the truth. Instead I gave him a stare I hoped would tell him without words.

"I'll miss her too."

He returned a soft, sad smile. The same I'd given him.

We continued the rest of the small journey in a sad silence. I hoped maybe he'd visit here and there, but deep down I know he won't want to. I wish we hadn't argued so much while he'd been here, but I cant make wishes true, otherwise that summer may have went in a few other directions. Maybe in some we wouldn't have pursued each other, and in some I'd have never left him.

I'd never felt so happy than when we were carefree in the country of Italy, but now I had never felt so care-filled.

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Overlooking the incredible view that the Statue of Liberty created, is one of my favourite feelings to experience. A few rays of sun shone here and there, making all the glass in the city glitter brightly. 

I held Ellie carefully in one arm, before looking over to Elio once again. Although we weren't that high up, the view of the city from the outside is hard to describe. It puts into perspective how small we are in comparison to that single city, and then in comparison to the entire world. 

As I watched Elio take everything in, I knew he understood how I also felt, right in that moment.

His eyes shined in the sunlight, soaking in everything, before meeting back with mine. 

I understood then, and also later, why I'd fallen for him, and why I'd keep falling, over and over again.

Elio was the only person I'd ever met where I hoped they'd look at me the same way I looked at them. When he did look at me, it was a weird, yet familiar feeling. As if I was the only thing that existed in that moment.  I know I wasn't, but that dizzying, swirling  feeling repeatedly crashed over me, and suddenly I forgot what it was like to breathe.

I hoped he felt it too.

Although it made me feel like I was falling deeper, and deeper and deeper, the sight around me reminded me where I was, that I was with him. It's such a strange experience to fall and fly at once.

The later I mentioned, when I remembered what it was like to fall deeply for someone? 

That happened when he gently took my hand, intertwining our fingers together. Always the forward one, I wasn't as surprised as you may have thought I'd be, but that didn't take away the fact that I fell again, and again. All words were stuck tight in my throat. 

I wouldn't have changed a single thing in that moment, as all of my wishes disappeared in a single touch.

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. . . . . . . . . .

So guys, what did you think of my return?

I'm so, sO sorry it took so long, I lost my laptop charger!!

I hope this soppy, cute chapter has lessened your rage with me.

I can't promise regular updates, so instead I will promise that I'll try my best!

Please comment, it really, really boosts my motivation a t o n.

annnnnnnnnnnd before I go,  THANK YOU so much for 15K reads!!!!! Ilysm <3

byE