Only Love -CMBYN-

Chapter 10

Elio

It had been a few days since I last spoke to Oliver. It was becoming more and more difficult to be under the same roof as him, especially now that I know how much he's hurting. I want to help him, comfort him, make him happy. But that's not up to me. I also want him to hurt, although it's selfish, but after 6 years of hurting while he had everything, I can't bring myself to care.

I can't help the way I feel about him, and to know that nothing will become of it hurts like a stab to the chest, over and over again, every time I set eyes on him.

When he first left, I was so incredibly devastated. Then angry. Angry because of the situation that brought us together and then tore us apart as easy as a sheet of paper. Then betrayed when I got the phone call that ripped me to shreds and confirmed that I was nothing more than a fling to him.

All this empty silence between us seemed to be hurting me more than the day he left. It was all too familiar. The white hot pain, that turns into a continuous, building ache. 

Another thing that's changed since I found out about his home life is that Oliver and Jenny seem to be rowing. They were a lot more private about the distaste they had for each other until now. I'm assuming that Oliver told her that I knew.

Tonight was worse than all the others though, and I couldn't figure out exactly was being said. I got up and pressed my ear against my door, trying to hear the slightly hushed yelling.

"... So you invited him into our home? After all the stuff that happened between you two?!"

Shit. Does she know?

"It was all in the past! You wouldn't have even known if you hadn't of snooped through my things!"

"What? That you had invited your summer gay fling to come live in the same damn house as your wife and daughter?!"

Oh fuck. She definitely knows.

"A wife. What a funny joke. I haven't had a wife for over a year!" I heard Oliver yell back, my heart ached a little for him then. 

"Whatever. I'm not the only one that gave up on this relationship."

"You gave up long before me! I clung on until I heard about the cheating rumors."

"I told you they weren't fucking true."

"Sure they weren't. Why don't you just tell me the truth? You found out about my past."

"You know what? I did! I cheated on you. It's still not as bad as what you've done."

"You cheating on a man who loved you isn't as bad as falling in love with someone? Last time I checked, you can control who you sleep with but not who you love."

What? He loved me? This is too fucking much to deal with right now.

I climb back into bed, feeling guilty for listening in on their conversations. It goes relatively quiet for a while and I start to dose off. Suddenly the front door slams shut and I'm too tired to see what happened or who left.

I wake up to complete silence the next morning and try to process the events of the previous night. Oliver saying that he had loved me set my mind running in circles and I realise this is too much to  take in without a cup of coffee. I get up and pull on clean clothes, before heading to the bathroom to brush my teeth. 

The clock hits 8 AM as I turn on the coffee maker that I had only just learned how to use, and remember the sound of the front door slam shut.

Who had left?

I look around for any hints of Oliver leaving to find none, although i do notice Jenny's car keys are gone. Where had she gone? Is  she coming back? Did she take Ellie with her?

The coffee machine stopped pouring and I immediately poured in the milk. I took a seat at the sofa, not bothering with breakfast. All the thoughts in my head were driving me insane and all I wanted to do was yell at them to shut up.

I can't decide whether to confront Oliver about how I overheard everything, or to keep my mouth shut. He could be mad at me. After all, I  was one of the reasons they had been arguing. I wish I had never came here. It would have saved so much pain. 

Poor Ellie probably heard the full thing. I feel awful about how she is stuck in the middle of all this. She doesn't deserve any of this what- so-ever. 

Lost in my thoughts, I neglect to hear tiny footsteps plodding towards me. Ellie sits beside me and looks up.

Ellie doesn't say anything for a small while before hugging me silently. Her and I over the past few weeks have grew close. Especially since the rows have gotten louder in volume. She told me that she's scared. She never said what of but I think I understand. 

"Elio? Will you read some more of the book to me?"

I nod and smile a little once again at the way she says my name. "We should get breakfast first. Pancakes?"

She jumps up excitedly, before grabbing my hand and dragging me to the kitchen.

I make the pancake mixture quickly and heat up the pan.

"Chocolate chips?" I ask and grab some from the cupboard when she nods.

The stack of pancakes pile up and I make a few spares for Oliver just in case. Ellie and I sit at the table and make our way through the pile easily. 

"Thank you!" She says smiling up at me while I clean up the dishes. 

After they are done and put away, I curl up on thee sofa with Ellie beside me. I open the book to where we had left off last time. It was the exact story my mother had read to me all those years ago when Oliver was there. The story I told him about, the first time we kissed. It's funny how one small thing like a story can bring back so many happy and sad memories.

I read the story to her, and half way through I hear footsteps come downstairs. They pause at the doorway and I ignore whoever stands there. 

As I read the final words at the bottom of the page, and translate them like I had with all the others, I look up into the eyes that had been gazing at me.

"Is it better to speak, or to die?"

I say the words as if I'm asking him them, and wait as if I expect an answer.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Hey guys!

It's been a while, huh?

SO, small update on my life and as to why I haven't updated.

First off, plain and simple, procrastination and writers block. Enough said.

Second off, mental health problems being problematic! (what a surprise)

Thirdly, I have been in the process of moving schools and I still am. It's causing major anxiety atm, so furthering point two.

Lastly, I broke and dislocated my ankle! I had to have surgery and stay in hospital for 10 days. On top of that I was on a fuck load of morphine and physio is so annoying, ugh.

But yes, thank you, if you're continuing to read this! Thank you for 3.1k reads! Hopefully there will be more consistent updates as I go into the summer holidays and my ankle finishes healing. (I might be able to start walking on it in 8 days, I've been non weight bearing so far.)

Anyways, thank you for sticking with me, I hope this chapter is good enough. fun fact, I wrote this at 3 AM and under 3 hours so I'm pretty proud.

Please leave a vote and a comment if you enjoyed (I love reading them)!

Bye!