NOT MY STORY...

2. Confessions

As soon as I enter the mighty kitchen, the strong smell hits me a second time in the day. It's not only the food but also his smell. The fragrance is being accompanied by the humming of none other than my friend, Paul. Yes, I repeat, friend.

He is flipping chocolate pancakes while humming some song I haven't heard yet.

Chocolate pancakes? As in my favorite 'chocolate pancakes'? Uhm, even the thought itself is mouthwatering.

But why is he making pancakes at this time?

I take cautious steps towards him. "Are you okay?" I can't stop myself from asking.

"Absolutely." He stops humming and I know that he's smiling at my utter confusion even though his back is towards me. Yes, I know him to that extent to understand what he's doing even when I can't see him.

"From what I see I think your head has gone into overdrive. Why are making pancakes right now? You 're not even ready for the party. Sars is going to kill you."

"Well, you already know I -" he stops talking as soon as he turns around. Woah. This is new. His eyes rake over my body before settling on my face. My cheeks redden automatically by the time he acknowledges the fact that he was literally gawking at me. Even after all this time he still has that effect on me. I feel proud of myself right now that he actually liked it.

'Get your mind straight Alexia. He's your best friend's husband.' my subconscious reminds me. And it just takes that much to bring me out of my sweetest dreams of having a family and back to the misery I go through every day. The misery of being alone.

I clear my throat. "So answer my questions."

"You look utterly beautiful and stunning Xia." He just needed to say this to make my cheeks flush crimson again. The way my name rolls off his tongue is enough to send my heart into overdrive and now, well now it feels like it will jump out of my chest any moment.

Anybody within a ten-mile radius can sense the awkward tension hanging in the air right now. "Um, thanks. I cannot say the same about you though." Of course, I can. Even if he wears a potato sack he would look completely gorgeous but I can't let him know that I m still into him, now can I?

"I already know I need to dress but how could I leave you hungry and only care about my looks?"
He raises his eyebrow at me.

"Leave me hungry?" I don't remember if I m hungry. But just then my stomach answers it for me.

"See, that's what I m talking about." this is embarrassing. He didn't just hear my stomach grumbling. When I don't say anything he continues, "I know you haven't eaten anything since morning, so I made your favorite chocolate pancakes with chocolate syrup." he gives me a triumphant smile and that's enough for me to know that he cares. He still cares.

He still remembers how obsessed with chocolates I am till date. He still cares enough to remember that I haven't eaten anything and I might be hungry.

"Thanks. But you know I had ice cream on the way. So you can't really say I m fasting." I add the matter of factly.

"Oh god, Alexxia, you think you can actually survive on ice cream? What are you, a five-year-old?"

"No, I don't mean-" he cuts me off by continuing, "Grow up. You will fall sick. Now finish this plate before I make you."

"In your dreams Paul." I laugh.

"Are you testing me?"

"You can't force me," I say the words although it hurts so badly to know that he doesn't want to force me.