Is This True?

Chapter 30

A body fell.

Another soon after.

Everything became black. Pitch black.

Then everything became cold. Icy cold. Just like the bitter feeling of stepping outside from a warm building. The cold bites your face, whipping underneath your clothing as the flowing blood inside your body begins to slow and chill. Your mouth quivers and your hands shake. You rub your arms and stomp your feet to regain feeling, but it's no use.

You're numb.

There's no feeling.

But that's pain. That's what pain feels like.

After a time, you get used to the feeling. You get so succumbed to the impalements of life, it almost feels as if you're taking a drug, and the effects of it don't even affect you anymore. So you have to take more, just to feel again. So it takes more pain, just to grasp that you're still alive. That you can take more than you can handle.

But you get lost and lose your way.

You lose your sense of worth and value. You lose your sense of direction and your meaning of life. You question yourself: why am I here? At this point in time, why? What is my purpose in life? What am I supposed to achieve?

When achievements fail, and purpose falls away, so do you, and everyone around you.

You fall.

Deeper and deeper into a pit of emptiness, a cavern of lowliness, depression, regret, and shame.

You think of all the things you could have done, all the things you could have done right, and all the things you could have changed; but you know, there's no turning back. The damage has already been done.

That's when you close your eyes, breathing deeply in the disappearing air that surrounds you. You feel yourself drifting away slowly, like a rain droplet sliding down a window.

You take it all in.

And before you know it, you're gone.

Life took you away in a blink of an eye, not even half expecting to end this way. In your heart, you knew you were always meant for disaster. You knew you were always meant for suffering. Everyone around you, got what they wanted, leaving you in a rut of hopelessness. It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. All you wanted was to live a life. A normal life with joy. With peace. With people that surrounded you with open arms who you could trust and love. Not ones who would judge you. Or betray you. Or replace you. Or forget you. Or lie to you.

Darkness, darkness deep as black, the world is now behind you. Without any pain, you have nothing to lack.

Nothing now, to hold you back.

***

Voices.

They spoke.

They spoke to me in hushed whispers, seeming to call me back to life; but my eyes remained closed with the temptation to drift off into a deeper slumber. The darkness was too overwhelming, drowning me deeper into that cavern of numbness to where I couldn't escape. But my eyes fluttered open slowly being blinded by a bright light. I expected to see fluffy white clouds or radiant angels welcoming me into their embracing arms, but the source of light was blocked by an unknown object. I could see the outline that it was a person, their lips moving as if they were speaking; but the voice didn't match up.

I kept hearing my name over and over, but I couldn't respond no matter how hard I tried. Merely all that could escape was a small squeak or a croak. But in response, the voice spoke back.