Save Me? I'm Fine.

Chapter 5

As the sun began to set you stepped into the marketplace and there was only one thing you could notice. The crowd.

You had never been claustrophobic before, but in that almighty swell of humanity you felt the panic rise in your chest. When they moved you had to also and if your feet failed to keep up you risked being trampled underfoot. Even in the bitter January cold you felt the warmth of all those bodies pressing in. People were gaunt and serious, there was hardly a single utterance in the thousands strong throng, save a few frightened yelps. There was nothing for it but to move with the crowd. You could smell them too, the people, an unholy agglomeration of perfumes, body odour and over-applied cologne. A police siren came from behind on the avenue, startling you, heart starting to beat faster. You pushed your way into the crowd stopping at a clothes shop.

You were desperate to change out of your clothes...Taehyung's clothes to be accurate. Every time you saw them you were reminded of how indebted you were to him for his favors and you hated it. You hated owing anyone anything. Quickly eyeing a pant and shirt you purchased it with the little money you had left and changed into them in the changing room. Folding Taehyung's clothes you put them in a bag, determined to make them reach their owner again. You were done with his favors.

As you made your way in the crowd once more, your eyes began searching again. Where was he? Could you be mistaken about his presence here? Was your hunch wrong? But you were rarely wrong about things like this.....and right enough just as the intense cold and crowd was about to make you give up, your eyes fell on the man you were looking for, relief flooding through your system as your lips shaped into a small satisfied smile. Here he was. Finally. You finally found him. You being at the market place was no coincidence. You being at any place was never a coincidence. Except being at Taehyung's. That was not a part of the plan. You shook your head annoyed. Somehow he always made his way into your thoughts. He shouldn't, you shouldn't let him.

You were about to take a step towards him but your intuition told you not to. Not today that is. This wasn't the right time for it. He seemed to be in deep discussion with someone. A client perhaps or a partner, you didn't know. But the presence of another party and the sounds of the siren earlier both warned you that today was not the right day for this. You took a step back calming yourself. Some other time then. You waited for so long, a little while longer won't make a difference. Instead of messing this up after coming so close to your objective you could be patient. Patient as you should be.

You turned around and walked away, aborting the initial plan in your head. You looked at the bag in your hand and let out a sigh. Maybe you could go return this to its rightful owner instead.

And as you walked you couldn't help but think that indeed like always, Taehyung was where your every thought ended.

It had been about four days since Taehyung last saw you. The evening after you left when he came back from work, Taehyung found a bag with his clothes and a small paper with the words thank you scribbled on it.

You came home. When he wasn't there, you came home, you were here and he missed getting a glimpse of you. Chiding himself as he took the bag in Taehyung regretted for the nth time that day for letting you go. Yes you were stubborn but Taehyung should have showed he could be stubborn too. Yes he had no right to make any decisions for you but you ad no right to stop him from being humane. He should have tried harder to make you see reason. Tried harder to explain, to make you understand, to make you stay but he didn't and that was the stupidest thing he could ever do.

Taehyung didn't even know why it was so important to make you stay. It wasn't just for your safety that's for sure. It was way more selfish. It was a selfish desire to have you around. To keep you with him. To want you. But did it really make sense? Could something possibly happen between you two? You knew nothing about him and if you did, you wouldn't even think twice before walking away. If he told you who he really was, you wouldn't be able to trust anyone ever again, you won't ever believe that there's anything good in the world to hold onto. Maybe it was better this way. With you knowing nothing about him and he having nothing to do with you. Maybe it was better this way even if it meant danger for you. At least you were safe from him.