In Too Deep (Urban) Book 4 | The Sideline Series

Chapter 14

Hazel

I sat on the edge of the hotel bed and carefully pulled back the covers so I wouldn't wake Rodney up. I ran away from him to this hotel but somehow he found me. He always finds me when ever I hide. I can't ever sneak away from him without him finding me. I understand what Victoria was trying to tell me tonight in the elevator but it's no use. I'm tired of putting up a fight against him when I know he's a lot bigger and stronger than me. I'm tired of covering up the scars he gave me, which he claims are beautiful. I'm tired of hiding out at this hotel. I just miss my friends and family.

The only time he lets me out is to go to school, and even then he goes to each and every one of my class, so I can't get away from him. I just which I could somehow get some money to go to a phone booth so I can call my parents and tell them what's going on with me. I know they haven't seen me in over away and are ballistic but every time I beg Rodney to call them he accuses me of being stuck on my parents, and if they wanted me they'd find me.

I'm not even going to lie and be naive like other people in my situation when they say he never used to be like that. This was just sudden. I've known from the beginning that Rodney was aggressive and had anger issues that should have been dealt with while he was a kid. I knew he'd eventually end up putting his hands on me, I just didn't expect it to go on this long.

Even when we'd argue, he's push me around but who doesn't when they're angry? It wasn't until about two months ago that he started hitting me but it really got bad a few weeks ago when he completely flipped out on me one Sunday afternoon. I don't know what happened but he went crazy and was throwing stuff at first but when he realized I wasn't scared, he directed his anger towards me. I held myself together for as long as I could and tried putting up a fight but he'd just hit me harder so I gave up and let him take his anger out on me, like he does every day.

I slowly slid my legs under the cover, just trying not to wake him up. It's like every little thing I do pisses him off and causes him to go off the deep end. I took a deep breath and slid my other leg under the cover but I immediately froze. My head slowly turned to Rodney who was just moving in his sleep, thankfully. I slowly rolled back until my head hit my pillow and that's when I knew I was clear.

I closed my eyes and began trying to go to sleep even though I was in an uncomfortable position. I didn't want to move the wrong way and wake Rodney up, so he can pick a fight with me. I'd rather be uncomfortable before he begins going off.

I almost jumped from under the covers when I felt Rodney's arms around me. Surprisingly, he didn't try anything funny on me yet. He grabbed a gentle hold of my body like he used to and pulled me down towards him so I could lay my head on the same pillow as him. This was the thing about Rodney, he's extra. When he's loving, he's extra loving but when he's mean, he's extra mean. There's no in between with him. These were the only emotions that he ever expressed around me.

"Put your arm around me," he grumbled.

My arm quickly wrapped itself around his body, just like what he told me to do. I leaned my forehead up against his as I rubbed his back, just the way I know he liked for me to do it. I know he liked to get his back rubbed, so whatever I can do to get him less angry, will be getting done tonight and every other night he allows me to get close to him.

"I love you," he spoke again.

I knew his words were lies, but I just repeated the phrase to him since I'm so used to being forced to say it, "I love you." Lies. They were all lies because I didn't love him anymore and he definitely didn't love me. If he loves me so much he wouldn't treat me the way he does. And if he loved me he definitely wouldn't take his anger out on me. I know it's called tough love and I'm gonna have to deal with it, but it's way past being tough. It's down-right abusive.