Fairyton

What'd I Miss?

X7-X7-X7-

X789!

How does the bastard, orphan, immigrant decorated war vet,

Unite the colonies through more debt?

Fight the other founding fathers till he has to forfeit?

Have it all, lose it all,

You ready for more yet?

Treasury Secretary. Washington's the president.

Every Fiore experiment sets a precedent!

Not so fast! Someone came along to resist him,

Pissed him off till we had a two-party system,

You haven't met him yet,you haven't had the chance,

Cause he's been kickin' ass as the ambassador to Joya,

But somebody's gotta keep the Fiore promise!

You simply must meet Zeref!

Zeref! Burr thought to himself.

"Zeref Jefferson is coming home..." The people of Fiore talked amongst themselves. Some with fear in their voices, others with happiness. Zeref possessed death magic, which was quite powerful. 

"Did he just kill everyone in Joya? Is that why he's coming back?" A woman asked.

"I'm certainly moving to another country myself! I value my life, thank you!" Her friend replied. It was true, most people feared Zeref.

"Zeref Jefferson is coming home!" The word spread.

"Zeref Jefferson is coming home!" A few were happy about this news.

"Zeref Jefferson is coming home!" The word had rapidly spread around Fiore.

"Zeref Jefferson is coming home, he's been off in Louen for so long!" A man told a friend.

"I'd truly prefer he stayed..." Was his reply.

Zeref strided into Era. His steps varied between killing grass or letting it live.

"I broke out an uprising. 

It's an absolute bloodbath there.

Joya is following us to revolution!

There is no more status quo!

Yet, the sun comes up and the world still spins!" He declared. HE STARTED A WAR?!

"AAA-OOO!" The people of Era screamed.

"I helped Lafayette draft a declaration,

Then I said: 'I must go.

I must be in Monticello!

Now the work at home begins!" He continued.

"AAA-OOO!" Why was he with Lafayette?! What is all of this?

"So what'd I miss?

What'd I miss?

Era, my home, sweet home, I simply must give you a kiss!

I've been in Louen meeting lots of different ladies,

I guess I basically missed the late eighties!

I traveled the wide, wide world and came back to this!" He thrusted open the doors of the mansion he occupied. His most loyal demon servants, the cult Tartaros also lived with him. His most loyal servant of all, Miss Kyoka Hemmings approached him. The minute he had set foot inside, he took it upon himself to perform a pimp strut.

"AAA-OOO!" The people of Era were utterly gobsmacked by his return.

"There's a letter on my desk from the president!

Haven't even put my bags down yet!

Kyoka, be a good demon, won'tcha open it?

It says the president's assembling a cabinet!

And I am to be the Secretary of State. Great.

And that I'm already Senate-approved...

I just got home, and now I'm headed up to Magnolia!" He took in the information, pleased with his new position.

"Headin' to Magnolia!

Headin' to Magnolia!" The people were relieved.

"Looking at these rolling fields.... I can't believe that we are free..ready to face whatever's waiting for me in M.C!" Zeref stared at the plantations while traveling once more.

(Zeref has arrived in Magnolia)

But who's waitin' for me when I step in the place?

My friend Mard Geer Madison, red in the face.

He grabs my arm and I respond:

"What's going on?" He was confused.

"Zeref! We are engaged in a battle for our nation's very soul! Can you get us out of the mess we're in? Hamilton's new financial plan is nothing less than government control! I've been fighting for the South alone! Where have you been?! Madison begged,then demanded.

"Uh...Louen." Zeref clarified.

"We have to win." Madison stated the obvious.

What'd I miss?

What'd I miss?

Headfirst into a political abyss!

I have my first cabinet meeting today!

I guess I better think of something to say...

I'm already on my way..

Let's get to the bottom of this. He thought to himself.

"Mr. Jefferson, welcome home!" Washington greeted him with a handshake. A man with pink hair was directly next to him. He took note of Zeref and attempted the same.

"Mr. Jefferson? Natsu Hamilton." He introduced himself. Zeref shook him by the hand, attempting to be civil. In truth, both hated each other already.

"Mr. Jefferson, welcome home!

Mr. Jefferson, welcome home!

Sir, you've been off in Louen for so long!" The entire cabinet greeted him.

"So what did I miss?" The question was rhetorical.

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Dammit. So now we're into Act II. This is going to descend into hell real fast. 

I know I've changed literally every name of place, but there are too many rhymes coming from Monticello. And I do not have Lin's genius.