BACK AND FORTH (𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘣𝘰𝘺)

six

  Pony sat at his desk looking out the window and attempting to get a little bit of homework done. Unfortunately, his mind kept wondering off. He kept thinking back to his date with Steve.

Not a date. He corrected his own thoughts. He wasn't sure why he kept referring to their outing as one. He was still trying to get used to the fact that the two of them had even hung out in the first place. But he didn't complain about it. As a matter of fact, he even enjoyed it, a whole lot more than he thought he would.

He had fun at the bookstore, and was happy that Steve had offered to do so much for him. What he really couldn't get out of his head, though, was when he had been dropped back off at home.

"Well I guess I'll see you later." Pony said as he hopped out of Steve's car. "Thank you for the books. I really appreciate it."

"Sure thing Pone. I'll come over pretty soon and you can start reading it to me." Steve smiled lightly. "See ya later kid." He said and drove away.

  And as Ponyboy watched him go, he felt his chest tighten and his stomach whirl.

  That's what he couldn't stop thinking about. It was hard not to, since every time he thought about Steve that same feeling would come back. He'd be an idiot to not know what it was, but he still kept trying to convince himself that it was something different.

Pony just couldn't let himself catch feelings for Steve Randle. Despite knowing that Steve liked other guys, he was still scared to get too attached to somebody like that. There were too many things that could go wrong. Steve could merely be exploring his sexuality, and not be fully into boys, or he could be playing some cruel joke on him.

But, if Steve really did like guys, then a small part of Ponyboy wondered if he was the guy that Steve liked. The idea seemed ridiculous, but not entirely impossible. Not after the last few weeks. He really had enjoyed spending time with him, and believed that it was the same the other way around.

  Pony sighed and put his head down. Nope. Definitely no feelings for Steve. He definitely wasn't lying to himself either.

-

  "So you and Steve are hanging out again?" Soda asked as he set the table for dinner.

  "Yeah, he wants me to read him some of Gone With the Wind."  Pony eyed his brother oddly. "Are you upset we're hanging out or something?"

  Soda rolled his eyes. "I am when Steve cancels plans with me to do something with you! We were supposed to go out to the Dingo tomorrow."

Ponyboy's mouth parted slightly. "I..surely there's a reason he canceled?"

Soda crossed his arms. "Like what?" He sighed and looked down for a few seconds. When he looked up again, his face looked softer. "Well..he seemed happy to hang out with me until I kept telling him that I was gonna find him a girl.."

"That's why." The younger boy nodded. "Soda, he likes someone already. Don't you know that?"

"No, how do you know that?"

"He uh..he told me. I assumed he told you too."

Sodapop shook his head. "He ain't mentioned anything about a new girl. Why would he tell you and not me?"

"He didn't really tell me, I could just tell I guess. I sort of forced it out of him." Pony laughed slightly, but it was out of nerves. "I'll call Steve and tell him that we can't hang out, okay?"

His brother sighed. "Awe I'm sorry Pone. I shouldn't be taking out my frustration on you. I really am glad that y'all are getting along now, I just miss my buddy, that's all."

"It's okay." Pony began walking towards his room. "I get it. Let me go call him real quick."

"Tell him I won't make him get a girlfriend!" Soda called out.

Pony nodded absentmindedly and continued walking until he reached his room. Although he was a bit sad about having to cancel plans with Steve, he was also thankful. The more time the two of them spent together the more feelings he would develop.

He picked up the phone and dialed Steve's number. It rang only twice before he answered. "Hello?"

"Hey, uh, it's Pony."

"Hey kid, what's up?"

"I was just calling to tell you that we probably shouldn't hang out tomorrow. Soda said that you cancelled on him for me? That ain't right. Y'all have been best friends since grade school. You hated me until a few weeks ago. You can't stop everything for me, you know?" Pony sighed lightly.

The other end of the line was silent for a few seconds until he finally answered. "Yeah, I shouldn't have done that. It's just, he said he was gonna make me find a girl. You know I like another person. I didn't want to have to deal with it."

"I explained that to him. He's awful sorry, and says that he won't make you. I think he really just wants some guy time anyway. We have been spending an awful lot of time together, and I suppose he just feels left out."

"Now I feel like an ass." Steve groaned. "But you're right. I shouldn't have cancelled plans with Soda. Can you tell him that I wanna go out to the Dingo tomorrow night like we originally planned?"

"Sure." Pony tapped his fingers on the phone handle. "I guess I'll see you later then."

"Yeah, we can..we can find some other time to hang out."

"Don't worry about me, Two-bit and I can find something to do I guess. See ya later." He hung up without waiting to hear what else Steve may have had to say.

He didn't want the older boys pity. He didn't want Steve to feel as if he had to do something else with him because of this.

Still a bother. He thought. Always one.

Tell me why I'm getting death threats??? Wtf???