BACK AND FORTH (𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘣𝘰𝘺)

fifteen

  The rest of the date was filled with Steve's rambling. He figured that excessive talking could hide the embarrassment of being shot down with an 'um.' He avoided eye contact, and made quick work of eating his food. He knew he needed to calm down, because he still wanted it to be a good date for Ponyboy, even if he was secretly crushed. "Is your food good?" He asked

"Yeah, it is." Pony said. "Thanks for taking me here. It means a lot."

"Don't worry about it. I'm glad that you like the food." He didn't wanna ask if Pony was having a good time. He was too afraid of the answer, and judging by Pony's face he already had a good feeling of what it would be.

"I'm pretty full." He put down his fork and stretched lightly.

"Are you ready to go?"

"I guess so." Pony yawned. "You sure you wanna pay for all this? I can pay for half if you want."

"I'm sure." Steve mumbled and just went up to the counter to pay. He could feel Pony's eyes burning into him as he stood, and he wished that he could read the boy's thoughts. He had kinda thought that maybe Pony was starting to feel the same way. They had started hanging out more, and he could tell that Pony cared about him, and he even kissed his cheek the night before. Steve knew deep down that a couple months of being nice to one another wouldn't replace all the years of the hate, no matter how much he wished it would. He almost jumped when Pony appeared next to him.

"Thank you again, Steve."

"Don't mention it." He left a tip on the table and they walked outside to his car. He opened up the passenger door and walked over to the driver side. For a few seconds he hesitated, suddenly feeling nervous. With a sigh, he finally managed to open the door and sit down. "Ponyboy, I'm sorry I brought that up. It obviously made you uncomfortable, and then that made me feel all awkward and embarrassed and—"

"Don't be sorry." Pony said quietly, cutting him off. "It's not that it's you, Steve. I honestly kinda like you too. I really like you. But I don't know if it's because of you, or if it's because I've gone so long without somebody to love and hug and kiss. I want attention. I know I do. It's so selfish of me to say because I know that some people don't even have love from their families and they're all alone, but damn do I want someone to make me feel special, and you make me feel special. But I don't know if that's why I like you. I can't do that to you. I can't date you for fun, because I know you really like me and—"

"Ponyboy," Steve swallowed. "it's fine. I get that you don't like me. It's okay. I shouldn't have forced myself to try and go on dates with you when you clearly weren't interested."

  The two boys both sat awkwardly in their seats for roughly a minute and a half, before Steve eventually put the key in the ignition. "Stop," Pony said quickly, and reached over, pulling the key back out. "Steve.." he said looking up at the older boy, not leaning back into his own seat.

  "Yeah?"

Ponyboy felt breathless. He glanced at Steve's lips and slowly started leaning in. "I'm so scared.." he mumbled.

  "Don't do something you'll regret." He placed his hands on Pony's shoulders and began pushing him away.

  "That's why I'm scared," Ponyboy fought Steve's grip. "because I don't think I'll regret this." He kissed him softly, causing Steve to gasp.

  It was a small kiss. Mouths were closed and lips were chapped but it didn't matter to Steve. His heart was beating fast and he reached up and hand to cup Pony's face. When they broke apart the two boys stared at each other. "Oh my God.." He said quietly. "I've like..I've never felt so much emotion from a kiss. I-I-"

  "You wanna kiss again?"

  "Yes." He answered quickly and pressed his lips against Pony's yet again.

  Ponyboy crawled over the middle to where he was sitting in Steve's lap. He opened his mouth up a bit, allowing him to deepen the kiss.

  Steve was gentle, and tried his hardest not to hurt him or make him uncomfortable. He kept his hands placed on Pony's hips and mostly let him control how the kiss went. He pulled away. "Why are you kissing me like this?"

"I want to feel, Steve. I want to feel something with you."

"Do you feel anything?"

"I feel like I'm going to throw up. But I think it's a good thing."

He chuckled. "A good thing, huh?"

"A very good thing." Pony grinned. "I want to kiss you again, is that okay?" Steve nodded and leaned forward. He could feel Pony's smile into the kiss, which caused him to smile as well.

They continued for a minute or two, before Steve pulled away quickly. "We should...we should stop."

"What's wrong?"

"It's just," He bit his lip lightly. "You're still not even sure how you feel about me."

"I..I mean," He rested his hands on Steve's chest and leaned his head against it as well. "I want to see you every day. And when I'm not with you I'm thinking about you. I know that if you stopped talking to me I'd like, lose my mind. A few months ago I didn't care at all that you and I never talked, but now the mere thought of it hurts. I love when you take me out because it's sweet to see you trying so hard. And kissing you.." he trailed off and crawled back over to the passenger seat. "Sorry to get all poetic and soft and stuff."

"Don't apologize. It was nice of you." Steve mumbled. His mind was spinning and on major overload from what he had said.

He'd finally won over Ponyboy..so why was he not in absolute euphoria?