my everything | fillie [✔️]

12

finn

i anxiously fidget with my hands as i wait on the bench outside of the school room for millie. today's shooting was pretty awkward, but at least we didn't have that many scenes together. i hear footsteps coming around the corner. i lean forward to observe who it is. the familiar brunette stops in front of me. "hey," she says flatly, earning the same response with me. "we should probably go somewhere else."

i get up, following behind millie as she leads me into the deserted schooling room. i stiffly sit myself down in the chair, with millie across from me. "so. you want to be friends again?" she proposes. i don't know how to respond. sweat forms in my palms, which are clasped together like the world's gonna end. to say i feel like i'm going to throw up is an understatement.

"uh- yeah, i guess, if you want to," i stammer.

she thinks. "ok. i guess so. but finn, what you did really hurt me, you know." for the first time all day, i look in her eyes. she has huge dark circles under them, and her eyes even look hurt. i didn't know that was possible.

"millie-" i start, but i'm cut off by her sharp, british tone.

"finn. i don't think you understand. we were together for three months. i though we were perfect together. we would hang out everyday. every. day. and i felt so amazing with you. i trusted you. and then you go and destroy all of that by deciding to date whoever this charlotte person is," her voice wavers. i really hope she doesn't cry. i wouldn't know what to do.

"i'm so sorry," i look down, tapping my foot.

"i loved you." she puts her face into her hands, coming up seconds later, her face slightly blotchy now. "in one simple act you threw away all the trust i had in you. why?"

"i really don't know. i was dumb. she texted me on accident, thinking i was her friend, and then we just kept talking, even after i told her who i was. and then she asked if we wanted to date. i was hesitant at first, but i agreed for some stupid reason."

"why, finn," she asks, but there isn't a questioning tone in her voice. it's more of a statement. "i don't know if i could trust you again. even if we were just friends."

"if it makes you feel any better, i broke up with charlotte," i tell her, a pleading look on my eye. she stands up, pushing in her chair.

"you just don't get it, do you?" she makes her way towards the door.

"millie!" i call after her.

"not now finn. i'm sorry. i'm just not ready to be friends yet. maybe later." but i don't believe it. she closes the door. i drop my head on the desk. i hate myself for this.

i hear muffled voices outside of the door. from what i can hear, it's caleb and millie having a conversation. "what's wrong?" caleb, i assume, asks.

"promise not to tell?" millie whispers, but these walls aren't very thick, and i'm close to the door anyways.

"yeah," caleb murmurs.

"so last night, i went into finn's room while he was with you, and he got a text. it was from someone named charlotte, so i looked at it, and after looking farther back, i found out that he'd been cheating on me with her for the past two months. so then he came in, and we fought. so today we decided to talk it out, and he's just so oblivious. he doesn't know how much that hurt. he thought that breaking up with charlotte would make it so much better. but it doesn't. because that's two girls that he's hurt now. it doesn't matter how much i hate her," she speaks, much calmer than before.

"where is he?" caleb asks, a hint of protectiveness in his voice.

"i think he's still in the school room," she responds. i hear footsteps getting closer, and soon enough, caleb swings the door open.

"finn?" he asks, sitting down next to me. "millie told me what happened."

"i know. i heard you guys talking," i reply.

"so, anything you want to add?" he asks, propping himself on his elbows.

"not really. but i'm not that oblivious as she says. i know what i did. i hate myself for doing that. i just want her back."

"i know finn. but you have to understand that if you do something like that, it's gonna be hard to get her back. what you need to do is give her time to cool off. don't be aggressive in trying to be friends, and don't push her into it. ok?" he explains.

"ok."

"do you know if anyone else knows about this?" he asks.

"i dunno. obviously you, and sadie was there when it happened. so gaten and noah are still in the dark. i'm guessing millie will tell noah since they're close, and i'll probably tell gaten soon."

he nods along. "well. okay. see ya later finn," he waves, then exits the room.

♡♡♡

the next day, i enter the filming room to see millie and noah in a corner. my guess is that she's telling him about us. sadie and caleb are sitting together, so i take this chance to go tell gaten. i don't think anyone else needs to know.

"hey gaten," i approach him, seating myself in the arm chair next to him.

"sup?" he asks.

"can we talk?

♡♡♡

we have to kiss today. that is, millie and i. i sit on the couch of mike wheeler's house in some old sweater, while millie sits next to me. she looks just as uncomfortable as me, as we're forced to sit really, really close together. "and...action!" the duffers exclaim.

"mike," millie starts. i say my next line, followed by hers, repeating this process until our lips our locked together.

except this time, i don't feel anything. not the passion, the sparks, the love. it's like kissing a person i've never even met before.

a/n: i know, you probably hate me for this chapter. sorry bout that. you're gonna hate and love me for the next chapter ;)