thoughts and fancy drinks

what even are emotions wtf

I don't understand my emotions

I can't call them sad, angry, upset, happy, numb

I actually don't know how to call them anything

because words don't describe how it feels

if I tell you, that I'm sad, you only think of your own experience with 'sadness'

my experience may be totally different

my explanation is that 

sadness is a chest with a iron lock on it, thrown into an unknown ocean

and even that doesn't describe my idea of sadness

because I feel it

you feel your sadness

and I'm not angry

because I was never supposed to be angry

at anything or anyone

so I'm not angry

I can't use the word angry

because words only describe

they don't explain it well enough

they can't make you feel how I feel