Pathways // Gawsten [Book 2]

12 - A Year Long Explanation To The Fans

"Jawn's right." The words from Awsten's mouth take Geoff by surprise. Once again, they were in Geoff's room alone, just basking in the silence and the comfort of each other. Their relationship was still unspoken, but both of them were currently fine with it. They both knew their interest lied with each other, but it was too soon to jump into anything, despite how much they both wanted to. Neither of them had said anything in a while; there was nothing that needed to be said. But these words confused Geoff.

"What do you mean?" He asked, quirking an eyebrow at Awsten who shuffled slightly so he could look Geoff in the face. He had a serious look on his face, like he'd been stuck in thought for some time now.

"Jawn's right, we should create a video explaining things to fans." Awsten stated and watched as Geoff's mouth dropped open slightly. He didn't think Awsten would want to tell the fans anything, he thought Awsten would be completely against it.

"Awsten..." Geoff began, ready to lecture Awsten on how and why that was a terrible idea, but Awsten was already ready to rebuttal it.

"No, think about this." Awsten said as he sat up properly, "You said we can't lie to our fans, and we can't. I'm not saying tell them everything, I'm saying we owe it to them... but we should give them a reason to why we suddenly disappeared with no warning." 

There was a sullen tone to his voice that Geoff could detect, and everything clicked. Awsten was still reeling the after effects of all this, and he didn't want the fans to go through the mud too. He wanted to give fans the answers he wished he could have had.

Geoff sighed and looked up at Awsten. His eyes were wide and pleading, and made Geoff's heart beat that little bit faster. Geoff knew he was going to have to agree even if he did have hesitations. Geoff thought about the man seeing it and it all starting over again; What if the man didn't like that they'd lied, or even told people about it. He had the power to start this whole thing again, and do worse things. But he knew he couldn't tell Awsten about that - he couldn't worry him - so all he could do was agree.

"Fine, but you're convincing Otto and Grace." Geoff said as he nodded, and watched as Awsten smiled and shuffled back down to cuddle him while Geoff continued to think.

He was tired of explaining himself. He was tired of repeating what he'd done, what had happened to Otto. He was tired of repeating what he'd been through. It wasn't a pleasant experience, and the last thing he wanted to do was relive it, although that seemed to be all he'd been doing recently. He couldn't get away from it, and he felt trapped. Geoff wished people could just past it, and maybe try forget about it, although he knew that wasn't even a possibility. 

He knew Awsten was still getting over it, and he knew better than anyone that Otto was still recovering. Yet, he couldn't tell anyone how he felt. After what Awsten had said the other day, he still felt trapped by what he did. He felt exactly like he did back in December; he wanted comfort but he didn't feel like he deserved it. And the only way to deal with that, was to get past it. Considering that wasn't happening either, he felt like he was in a box.

-

Otto had a reaction exactly like Geoff's, if not worse. He too knew it was a bad idea to lie to fans, and he was sure they could get away with saying nothing. But when he saw Awsten, he instantly knew he was going to have to give in. They'd done this all to protect Awsten; it was their choice to do this. They knew they couldn't start resenting Awsten for it.

Grace was hesitant to agree to it. She knew she didn't have to be involved if she didn't want to be, but she also knew it would look weird if she wasn't in the video considering she was as involved as Awsten. It was going to be difficult to know what she could and couldn't say, and that was her big issue, but Otto assured her it would be fine.