Pathways // Gawsten [Book 2]

07 - Is This A Restart or A Start Over?

The first thing Grace did when she got back to the apartment was fling herself onto the sofa. She ignored the dogs fussing her, and went straight to lay down. That flight would always destroy her, it was so long and always filled with crying children. She couldn't handle crying children.

Awsten took her bag and his bag and dumped them next to the staircase before following Grace and flopping down into the chair, but instead paying attention to the animals. He sent a quick text to Ellie and thanked her for looking after the animals while they were gone. Everything in the house looked normal and the animals looked happy, which was always a bonus. 

He checked the time and noticed their pets hadn't eaten yet. Awsten had told Ellie not to feed them that night as they'd be back at some point, so he hazily pushed himself up from his seat and went to the cupboard to feed all their pets. He heard their whines and tried to be as fast as he could, which was a task given how tired he was. They'd had a hell of a few days, with a lot of emotions flying everywhere. He couldn't wait to just have a proper sleep in his own bed. 

Once he fed the animals, he got himself a packet of maltesers from the cupboard and flopped back down in the chair, popping one of the maltesers in his mouth. He slipped his phone from his pocket and contemplated on ringing Jawn. Jawn - despite driving them to the airport - was clueless to what had happened over the couple days they were there.

He pressed the 'call' button and held put the phone on loudspeaker, listening as the ringing tones filled the room. He knew Grace was still awake, and she would probably have a lot more to say than him. 

"Hey Awsten," A voice said from the other side of the phone. Awsten didn't know what time it was back in Houston, all he knew is that it was some time in the early morning over in England. That probably meant it was late night in Houston, but Awsten didn't really care.

"Hey Jawn, me and Grace just got back home." He spoke, slurring the last words slightly from tiredness.

"Yeah, how'd it go?" Jawn asked, and Awsten heard some shuffling in the background. Obviously Jawn was ready to get into this conversation.

"After all the crying stopped it was nice." Grace added in sarcastically from where she was laid on the sofa, now with Flynn and Jet on her lap. 

"Yeah I can imagine," And the shuffling in the background sounded again, along with some hushed voices,
"Anything else happen?"

"Geoff told us they're not coming back and Awsten got upset, but it's fine." She said again, keeping her eyes closed and petting Flynn.

"I-" Awsten began before Jawn laughed down the phone,

"Sounds about right... Listen, I've gotta go, in the middle of something, we'll talk soon!" And with that, the call ended abruptly. Awsten flinched away from the phone and watched as his home screen came back into view. He looked at the screen in confusion and watched as Grace lifted her head a little,

"What the hell?" She asked, and Awsten shrugged. 

Suddenly, Grace got a worried look on her face and Awsten's heart dropped. He put his maltesers on the table next to the chair, not feeling in much of an eating mood anymore. 

"What is it?" He asked, nervous at what she was going to say.

"Jawn was acting weird, you don't think-" She stopped speaking and bit her lip, contemplating if she was going to finish her sentence,
"What if the letters have started again? What if we started something really bad by going there?"

It was completely plausible, although completely untrue. Awsten knew that he was a big part of Otto having to leave, and maybe by going there he'd completely fucked it all up. He could've put Geoff and Otto in danger again. Would they be stupid enough to hide it again? Probably. Awsten knew they couldn't go through it again, and even if he asked Geoff wouldn't tell him. But, he didn't want to dwell on something that they didn't know for sure of.

"Don't immediately jump to that... Don't think negatively, okay? We only just got home. I'm sure if something was going on, they'd tell us." Lie. 

He was trying to reassure her as much as he could, but he knew it was difficult. She wasn't oblivious, neither was he, but she definitely wasn't stupid either, and if something was going on she was going to notice straight away.

She nodded at his response and laid her head back down again, shutting her eyes but still speaking,

"We need to talk about what happened back there... Or about it in general." She said with a heavy sigh. Neither of them wanted to, but they both knew they had to.

"What's there to talk about?" Awsten shrugged and lent back in the chair, watching Grace's facial expressions change,

"Awsten, you thought Geoff and Otto were dead, and then the next day you're sitting next to them... You're gonna have things to say." She stated as if it was obvious. Which it was. Awsten did have things to say, he had an awful lot of things to say. But he didn't want to bring it all back up again.
"C'mon Awsten, just tell me what's on your mind."

He sighed. He knew there was no way he was getting out of this, but he knew a part of him didn't want to either.

"I really thought Geoff killed Otto... I don't know why my mind immediately went there, but as soon as the thought was in my head, it was stuck... I thought Geoff had left and killed himself because we found him out. That was a lot to deal with." He shrugged, willing the tears in his eyes to go away.

"Oh, Awsten..." Grace said, pulling herself into the sitting position so she could look at Awsten. Again, he looked so small. She knew he'd had these thoughts before - they'd spoken about them - but after seeing Geoff and knowing he was alive, she had no idea what he was thinking anymore.

"From the day Otto had disappeared, I'd accepted he was dead. Everything beyond there, like the body in the coffin, was just another reason for me to go to jail." He croaked out. He felt so vulnerable in that moment, spilling all his emotions to Grace. 
"I knew the investigation had closed." He blurted out, and immediately closed his eyes, not wanting to see Grace's reaction. He knew that would be a good distraction from the other topic, but maybe he could've thought of a better one.

"You what?!" She nearly yelped,
"How!?"

"The police told me... They legally had to after being a suspect, I guess." And he peeled one eye open. She was lent forward and looked vaguely angry. He shuffled back a bit, attempting to get further away from him,

"And you didn't think to tell me?" She asked through gritted teeth,

"There was no point! They didn't tell me why, just that it had!" He said, and held his head in his hands. 

Grace didn't respond to him, instead she groaned and leaned back onto the sofa. He probably could've mentioned that at a better time. Even with a calm face, she looked incredibly angry. Awsten peeled one eye open and giggled at the sight of her,

"What?" She snapped and he giggled again,

"Nothing, just... You're hot when you're mad." He smirked, and she leaned forward, quirking an eyebrow. 

"We need to talk about that too." She pointed out, and Awsten sighed and nodded,
"Is us sleeping together such a good idea with Geoff and Otto back in the picture?" 

"They're hardly back in the picture," Awsten snorted, "They let us walk straight out of Houston with no protest. God knows when we'll see them next, and we didn't even get their numbers,"

Grace sighed. He was right, they'd made no attempt to stay in contact. It was sad, that they'd gone so long without seeing each other, and their story didn't even get a good ending. But, maybe that was the way it was meant to be.

"Maybe that's the way things are meant to be then?" Grace suggested. She saw Awsten nod slightly,
"And just because we fuck doesn't mean I like you or like you, that's still very much understood right?" 

"What? Of course!" Awsten gaped. How could she even ask such a thing. Been there, done that, and they were better off as not-a-couple. 

"Good... Come on then." She said, standing up from the sofa and heading towards the stairs,

"Where are we going?" He asked confused, and she turned around with a raised eyebrow. He thought about what she was insinuating for a second before it clicked in his head, and he immediately jumped up from where he sat and followed her up the stairs into her bedroom. 

That night, both of them became very thankful that each room was soundproof.