Pathways // Gawsten [Book 2]

30 - Ross & Rachel

No one could deny the tension on the bus, and no one could deny that they knew what it was about. They had sworn there were no more secrets yet secrets kept coming out, and every single time it was another bullet to the heart to everyone. 

The next day was a free day which came at just the right time. Everyone left the bus and went their own ways, seemingly trying to collect their thoughts. Geoff had left the bus before anyone else had even woken up, and Jawn soon followed. Jawn felt guilty, he knew about both of the affairs yet he never mentioned it. He could've helped yet he didn't. Although, he knew this wasn't his fault. He didn't make those decisions, his friends did, and he was just unfortunate enough to get caught up in it all.

No one had slept much that night. Grace had retired into Jawn's bunk and Jawn took the sofa. Usually, Grace would be in Otto's bunk but she knew she wasn't welcome there at the moment, and Jawn wasn't about to let a pregnant woman sleep on the sofa of a moving vehicle. It was eerily cold and unfamiliar in Jawn's bunk, even though she knew it was no different. Being without Otto was something she had grown unfamiliar with. 

By the time Grace left Jawn's bunk in the morning, Awsten had also left along with everyone else. He had taken his computer and acoustic guitar with him, and she knew that meant she wouldn't see him for the rest of the day. She feared he was going to isolate himself from all his friends and make things worse for himself. As much as it was his fault too, he couldn't hide from it and hope it would go away. He needed to face this and fix it... Which is exactly what Grace was going to do.

When she reached the main room on the bus, she knew Otto was awake in his bunk. He'd been out here as there was an empty chocolate bar wrapper on the kitchen counter. At least he wasn't hiding away from the world. She sat down on the sofa quietly and scrolled through her phone, watching the world go by through the window. Although they weren't moving, they were parked in a busy car park; she could see people walking past, living their happy lives. Time seemed to go slower when she was alone, and it seemed to just crawl by when she felt lonely. 

She locked her phone and sighed, sinking down into the sofa. Before the could get comfortable, the door to the bunks opened and Otto quietly padded out. Once he saw Grace, it was obvious in his eyes that he was contemplating going back into the bunk and hiding. But even he knew he couldn't do that forever. Grace immediately stood up,

"Can we talk?" She asked softly,

Otto remained quiet and walked past her, opening a cupboard in the kitchen and pulling out a bunch of bananas,

"About what?" He asked stiffly, not meeting her eyes. She felt her heart drop slightly, but shook it off.

"About the baby..." Grace said quietly. She jumped as Otto slammed the cupboard door closed,

"The baby which you didn't know was mine until yesterday morning?" He barked at her, walking away to the bunks once more.

She wasn't going to let him get away from this. They needed to talk.

"Don't you fucking walk away from me." Grace swore, and Otto stood still where he was. He slowly turned around and crossed his arms,
"We need to talk about this."

"Fine, talk." Otto muttered, and shoved past her to sit down on the sofa furthest away from her.

She breathed out heavily, preparing herself for the worst.

"I'm sorry I never told you about me and Awsten... I never meant for this to happen and I never meant for you to find out this way." She spoke softly as she sat across from Otto
"It was only a precaution, the test. To know for sure."

"No, you know what that test means?" Otto said bitterly, and Grace shook her head in confusion.

"No?"

"It means that you were still fucking Awsten after you came to find us in Houston. Even after we were back in your life, you were still banging him." 

Otto stared at her, waiting for her to reply. Daring her to think of a response.

"I'm sorry," Grace whispered out, tears collecting in her eyes.

"Sorry isn't going to cut it... You left Awsten for me all those years ago. Do you know how much it stings for you to go back to him after I leave? After you thought I was dead?" Otto choked out.

"Exactly!" Grace yelled, "You were suppose to be dead!" 

"This isn't my fucking fault and you know it!" Otto bellowed as he stood up.

Grace had never seen Otto this angry and she was pretty sure no one else had either. It scared her, knowing Otto could turn into this. It scared her knowing Otto was like this because of her.

"I needed comfort, my boyfriend was dead!" Grace retorted angrily.

"So you fell into the arms of your ex boyfriend." Otto stated. 

It fell silent. Grace knew everything he was saying was right and she didn't have anything left to say. 

"You would've lied to me about being a father." Otto whimpered out, and it was then that Grace noticed the tears slowly falling down his cheeks. She stood up and took a few steps towards him.

"Otto..." She began, but he put his hand up to stop her.

"We're done," Otto chuckled bitterly, "I need a break from you, from all of this... You know what, just go home Grace."

He walked away from her, wiping his eyes as he did. Before he stepped into the bunk area, he turned around and said one more thing,

"Just because we went down different pathways, it didn't mean you could forget about ours."

Grace could hear him closing the curtain to his bunk as she stood in the main room, taking in what happened. Otto had ended things, and the thing that stung the most is she knew he had every right to. She couldn't even blame him.

Before the even had the chance to sit down, the bus door opened and Geoff walked in. He took one look at Grace and walked into the bunk area. She could hear hushed whispers, clearly between Otto and Geoff and felt terrible. Even from here she could hear the tears in Otto's voice and the way his words cracked.

She moved forward to close the bus door until she saw Awsten stood in the doorway with red, bloodshot eyes.

"Geoff wants to take a break." Awsten choked out.

Grace moved forward to pull him into a hug. Even though they had both just ended their relationships, they didn't hate each other. They only had each other. She felt tears soak her shirt and felt tears spring to her own eyes. It had all happened so sudden. One tiny mistake may have ruined four people's lives. 

"Otto wants a break too," She whimpered out into Awsten's shoulder,
"I'm so sorry."

Suddenly, they were both crying into each other, the reality of what they'd done and what had happened finally hitting them. There was no way out of this. They were going to have to fix this by themselves and do it quickly. If they didn't fix this, there were going to be thousands of hurt people. It wasn't just them involved anymore, it was everyone.

-

Geoff had found Otto crying in his bunk, completely beside himself. He didn't know how his friend must be feeling, but no matter what he knew he needed to be there for him.

Otto scooted over to the end of his bunk and motioned for Geoff to lay next to him. They both needed comfort right now. For a while they just laid in silence, until Geoff saw Grace's jumper at the end of the bed. He lent forward and went to throw it out of the bunk until he saw a gem attached to it.

"That fucking asshole," Geoff muttered and Otto turned to look at him,

"What?" Otto asked, confused,

"Have you seen that charm before?" Geoff asked, and Otto nodded slowly,

"I found it a few days ago, I assumed it was off a necklace or something," He shrugged and spoke quietly.

"Oh it's off a necklace... The necklace I gave Awsten." Geoff yanked the charm from the jumper and roughly threw the jumper from the bunk, followed by the charm.

"We didn't deserve this." Geoff whispered, and pulled Otto closer into his arms.