Pathways // Gawsten [Book 2]

31 - You'll Miss What You Have, Just Watch

Any of the boys would agree that the show that night was one of their worst. Minutes into the set, the fans began to realise something was wrong and all three of them could feel the energy and atmosphere dropping. Awsten and Geoff weren't acknowledging each other, only occasionally throwing sour glances, and Otto was taking his anger out on the drum kit (more than usual). Something was clearly wrong and the fans knew it.

With the boys being in a bad mood, and the bad atmosphere, the show was gradually getting worse and it all reached its peak while playing stupid for you. Geoff turned to Awsten and spoke to him for the first time all day, and asked:

"Can I sing the outro to Stupid For You?" 

Awsten nodded with a slight smile on his face, hoping this was a step towards making things okay again. But boy, was he wrong. The song went on great, and just when Awsten thought things were going to be okay, Geoff began singing the outro.

"You're playing fuck with my friends,
And wear it like a halo,
I'm a symphony,
You're a fucking sour note,
You'll take what you can get,
The best is hard to grip when nobody wants you,
And nobody wants you."

Awsten was stood in disbelief watching as Geoff sung the lyrics. He turned around to see Otto laughing away with a smirk on his face. When he saw Awsten looking at him, he just winked at him and turned his attention back to his drums. In that moment, Awsten truly felt alone and he knew it was all his fault.

Once the song had finished, he wasted no time in rushing off stage and out the back exit. He didn't care who was on the bus, he just wanted to go and hibernate in his bunk. He heard Otto and Geoff climb onto the bus a few minutes afterwards talking to each other. He felt isolated and unwelcomed. He wanted to go home. Not to London, he wanted to go back to Houston to his family. He knew he'd messed things up and he just wanted to go back to his normal life.

Pulling him out of his thoughts, his bunk curtain was drawn open. On the other side was Grace looking dejected and lonely. He shuffled over to the edge of his bunk and patted the space next to him. Silently, she climbed up into the bunk and laid next to him, pulling the curtain closed behind her. Awsten put his arm round her shoulders and pulled her close, tugging up a blanket from the end of the bunk. It was nothing but friendliness, but it was something they both needed.

A few moments into their comfortable silence, their phones buzzed at the same time. Dread filled them both as the notification popped up from Instagram saying "Underscoregeoff is live!". Without saying anything, Grace pulled out her phone and tapped on the notification, watching as the Instagram live loading screen appeared. She glanced at Awsten who had his eyes locked onto her phone. Soon, Geoff's face appeared on the screen, but he wasn't alone; beside him was Otto. They began saying hi while Grace and Awsten read the comments which were flooding in.

"Hey, guys" Otto began, "we wanted to talk you about a few things because we have, well Geoff has, seen your concerned tweets."

"We want to preface this with saying everything is okay and waterparks is stronger than ever." Geoff said, lying through his teeth. Out of camera shot, Otto placed his hand on his friend's knee and squeezed. 

They remained silent for a couple more minutes, eyes clearly scanning through the questions. Through the corner of her eye, Grace could see Awsten biting his lip nervously, obviously not knowing what was going to be said.

"So we wanted to address the show last night," Geoff began, "We can't and won't tell you the details of our private lives as separate people outside of the band, or things that happen within the band behind closed doors."

"Mainly because we don't know half of it ourselves" Otto scoffed. Geoff chuckled slightly before continuing,

"We thought it would be a lot easier than it has been to bounce back after a year. It has been a huge struggle again and none of us are finding it easy." Geoff said, bowing his head,
"Things have been thrown at us and discovered that hit us like a bus and it's affected us greatly."