Beat Of My Heart

Chorus (Seven)

Once we were further away from my volatile home life, it felt like I could finally breathe again.  

I rubbed my hands on my black skinny jeans, wondering why I had returned to my all black attire when Josie had been making such progress with my wardrobe. 

I guess I had a lot more important things to think about than my black skinny jeans and matching black long sleeve top.

Sebastian hadn't said anything for the entire ride, he knew what I needed and I was more than grateful for the silence. 

When we pulled up to the school, however, he decided to break our comfortable silence and I couldn't tell if I was annoyed at him for talking to me or at myself for letting it bother me so much. 

I really needed to get over the attraction I had to him, it would only hurt me far more than I could ever bear in the end, and he already had someone.  I would just be some kind of piece on the side. 

"Are you okay?  You're a lot quieter than normal..." 

I sighed and shook my head, running my fingers through my hair as I bit my lip, they were my nervous habits that I'd adapted when I realized how much I struggled in social situations. 

You could say I was born socially awkward. 

"I'm fine.  Just some stuff at home, nothing I haven't dealt with before."

Lie.  I was actually upset about the fact that he was acting like nothing was different, as if he hadn't tried to have his way with me less than twenty four hours earlier and it turned out he had a girlfriend the entire time! 

"Okay.  Wanna get out of here then?"

I stared at him like he was insane.  I had already skipped school more times than I'd like to count since meeting him. 

"You're a really bad influence, you know that right?"

I was grabbing my bag and in the middle of opening the car door when I realized a person who I definitely didn't want to see that day. 

Dylan. 

My entire body froze and my hands shook, my forehead breaking out in a light sweat as I remembered what he'd done to me. I slowly averted my eyes from his towering frame, terrified to meet Sebastian's eyes even though I knew he was watching the exchange intensely, looking back from me to him and I was sure he deduced why I quickly shut the door that I'd already opened halfway. 

I looked over to the steering wheel, both of his hands firmly clenched on it so tight that his knuckles were turning white.  He knew, he had to.  The swelling on my black eye from the day before had gone down, but I'd done a piss poor job of covering it up that morning, my head in a different place because of my volatile home life. 

I kept my eyes down as I felt his anger rolling off of him in waves.  His breath was coming in quick and short and I could have sworn that I saw his nostrils flaring in rage. 

I wondered why he was so angry, though.  He couldn't know exactly what had happened, he hadn't even asked me to get my side of the story.  

And then I met his eyes, refusing to waver beneath his stare. 

But he did something rather unexpected.  He let out a breath in a rush of air and put the car in reverse, tearing out of the parking lot like a bat out of hell causing multiple pairs of eyes to turn out way but it didn't really matter because no one in their right mind would assume who it really was in the car. 

He didn't say a word as the tension in the car was filled with lingering looks and as soon as he would catch me looking I would blush and turn the other way.  He did the exact same thing, minus the blushing, and whenever I would catch him staring he wouldn't look away. 

Although it didn't seem like he was staring just to stare, he was looking directly at my left eye, the one with the bruise from hell.  I figured he was just trying to make sure it was what he thought it was, the imprint from Dylan's fist causing my chest to seize up in that painful ache again. 

I hated that ache.  It consumed my every thought when it appeared, burning a hole through all of my conscious thoughts and giving me one continuous strain of thought: pain. 

It was physical, it was mental, it was emotional, and I didn't know how to stop it. 

I felt a soft finger brush the skin of my cheek and I looked up at Sebastian to find that we were parked at the diner we went to on our first outing together and he was leaned so effortlessly close to me that it was all I could do not to lean in and close the distance between us. 

But I couldn't. 

I looked up into his emerald green eyes, his smoldering gaze holding mine as a lock of black hair fell across his eyes.  

I flinched as another hand reached up and his thumb grazed the skin underneath my eyes and I felt the wetness on my face and realized I was crying. 

He was wiping away my tears that I didn't even know I was crying. 

"Come on," he said softly, quickly hopping out of his driver's side and running around to my side, opening my door for me. 

He puled a baseball cap out of his back pocket and slid on the sunglasses that were hanging on the V of his t shirt. 

I numbly followed him, my head feeling foggy and out of it as I allowed for his hand to pull me up from the car with him and into the diner. 

The ambiance of the quaint diner quelled my racing panic and pain as I allowed the smells of fresh cooked burgers and fries to fill my senses and I relaxed a bit, wondering why I was still letting Sebastian grasp my hand in his. 

It wasn't like I was complaining though. 

He pulled us into a booth next to a window and when I slid in expecting him to go to the other side as well, he surprised me by sliding into the booth directly beside me, causing my heart beat to ricochet and cascade through my body, my eyes widening in surprise. 

"Look, I know we don't know each other too well, but I want you to know that I'm here for you if you need me.  I can tell you're in pain and that you're keeping something from me, but you don't have to.  I won't tell anyone and I won't do anything about it unless you absolutely want me to, that I promise.  I want to be a good friend to you, Holly.  And don't ask me why because I have no idea myself..." he trailed off and I had to look away from his blistering gaze in order to actually think straight and come up with what I would say next. 

I cleared my throat. 

"T-thanks.  I really appreciate it." 

I didn't know what else I could say...

He just kept on staring at me. 

A waitress came by to take our order and he placed an order for the both of us, remembering what I wanted from the first time we came here. 

"So are you gonna tell me how you got that black eye?"

I froze.