Beat Of My Heart

Chorus (Eleven)

Sebastian found me like that, sitting upright on the ground next to my phone replaying my worst nightmare. He had somehow come through the window, but my gaze was dead, focused on the wall in front of me.

I didn't take into focus his eyes, pleading with me to snap out of it. That was when he looked down at the phone.

He grew angry, like he hadn't seen the video yet. I was sure he had, he had to have seen it before.

It was everywhere, after all.

His voice was muffled, all of the sounds around me were. It was like I was under water and nothing I could do could pull me out of it.

I didn't know what was happening, I was panicking on the inside but on the outside I was stock still, almost like I was catatonic.

I felt a rush of air next to my ear and when the loud scream that penetrated my ear drums shook my entire body, everything came into focus for me.   I suddenly found myself face to face with Sebastian Jennings in my room sitting right in front of me, my head hurting from the loud noise that had just been blasted into my it.

"What was that for?" I demanded of him, wondering how he had snapped me out of the state that I had been in with a single slap and his presence.

"You looked like you were dead, I had to snap you out of it.  You're welcome, by the way," he said, and I suddenly realized just how dangerously close I was to his body. 

His stubble had grown out a bit since I had last saw him, and the dark hair on his face made him look even more ruggedly handsome, in a more dangerous way. 

His green eyes were staring into mine and I suddenly remembered the reason for my pain.  It was crazy to me how a few moments together with him like that could make me forget all of my sorrows, but the unmistakeable, unflinching and unforgiving white noise from the video could not be ignored any longer. 

I pulled the phone up and looked at it for a moment.  The anger bubbled up inside of my chest, mixed with all of the frustration of the entire world seeing me at my very worst moment in my entire life. 

I gave it one final look and threw it across the room, slamming against my dresser and then plopping to the ground in a pile of worthless garbage technology. 

"Hey, if you didn't like my gift you could've just given it back-you didn't have to turn it into a pile of crap," he said, grabbing my hands in his. 

I wanted to cry, to scream and throw a fit and go find whoever leaked that surveillance video from the school and beat the ever loving shit out of them, but I couldn't. 

Instead, I cracked a smile at Sebastian's joke, and although the hurt didn't automatically go away, I still felt a bit better. 

A knock at the door tore that smile off of my face and I immediately got into action, motioning for Sebastian to be silent and to crawl under the bed. 

"One second," I shouted at whoever was behind my door. 

I looked around for my bathrobe, not wanting my parents to see me in my going out clothes, otherwise they would watch me like a hawk for the entire rest of the night, never letting me out of their sight. 

I was breathless by the time I got to the door and I was sure my cheeks were flushed to high heavens, but I threw open the door anyway and was surprised to find Josie behind it. 

"Hey.  I came over to check on you and your parents heard a loud noise, I told them I'd check it out.  So what's going on?" she asked me as I just stared at her face.