Our Love Is Tainted

Chapter 7: A Ghostly Return

What should I do? How do I deal with the loneliness? Scurrying in the hole of Murder House like a god damn rat, it's unnatural, it's not what I should be doing with my life. Why is it that every single chance I get to be with Violet once again, I always turn my back, and then I feel sorry for myself like it wasn't in my control the entire time. Should I reveal myself to her? Should I tell her everything that has happened since I left, all the things I have done, and the number of times I've had to fight Taint from corrupting me all over again? That I tried to forcefully skin the tattoos from my skin? That I broke my hand, my jaw and my leg when I tried to jump off the roof? That, I tried, to drown myself? She'd either hate me or never let me go. I don't have the guts to tell her how sorry I am, how sorry I am for not only hiding away from her like a coward but for watching as she slowly tore herself apart like everything has been her fault.

Fear, is the eternal depth of never-ending mistakes, the taste of blood on the tongue when you're about to make the worst decision in your entire life. The Noble War; the impediment of lies and mistakes, filled with murder, fear and never-ending blood-lust, only then coated by the effects of cocaine and gasoline. There's always an angel of death in a war, one that has the most effects on the battle, an angel that either frees or ends. There's no in between, there has never been, never will be. I am their angel of death, I'm the one who tried to free them in a place clean and kind, but instead, I simply sent them into a different world, full of pain and suffering, just like Violet said that one time. The Noble War ended in nothing but blood, mine, and others, the moment I realised my dreams weren't dreams, but memories, my eyes were opened on who I really am, and better, what I made myself. Tate Langdon, the monster who massacred Westfield High, that's the title I will never live down, not in this afterlife, not in my next life, in fact, I'll probably judge who I was if I have the next life.

"Hello, Tate."
"What do you want? What do you want for me?!"
"I want out, I want to have my own body."
"That's impossible, you're just a voice in my head."
"You can think whatever you want, Tate, but I know the truth."
"What truth? What are you talking about?"
"You created me, out of your sickness."
"What?! What does that mean?!"
"You'll know, I'm due time."
"Tell me, you son of a bitch!"

Taint just laughs in my face as he goes completely silent once again, as much as I hate his voice, I still want answers.
"HELP ME!"
The voice, the scream, the familiarity, the sweetness covered in sudden fear, it has to be Violet. The place the voice is coming from says it all, the attic, the Infantata's new hideout, nest, whatever it's called. Violet's gone exploring and has fallen right into its trap, I can feel her fear, even taste it, but I'm going to stop all of it, she will not get hurt.
"I'm coming, Violet!"
I force myself to appear right in the shadows of the attic, and what I see next makes my skin crawl. Violet tries to fight Thaddeus away, but with no success; he has her by the legs, using his claws to grip her violently. I can see blood, he's hurt her, managed to scratch her on the leg, wrist and neck, and that's enough to drive me over the edge. I'm about to let the beast out for real, but this time, I'm going to be the one in absolute control, well, kinda.

I leap at Thaddeus like an animal, more animal than even him, which makes even me surprised. I throw him across the room like he's nothing, watching him ragdoll back to his feet. The one thing that I notice, is the fact that he's somehow shrunk, he's smaller, skinnier and far more vicious than before. He snarls at me, obviously unknown as to who I am, he normally fears me, and I'm about to make him all over again. He leaps at me, managing to land directly on my back, then sinking his teeth into my shoulder blade. I feel the blood drain from my shoulder, which angers me more, making me pull him off of my back, and bite him on the arm, breaking his wrist. He claws me on the chest, and I stare at Violet, watching her huddle into a corner in fear when she could just easily escape. I stare so long I don't even feel the pain of his scratches like she's numbing me of the pain, but not the anger, the feeling of his claws tearing against my skin is still there, but not with the same effect.

I roar like a beast, gripping Thaddeus head and squeezing as hard as I can, but with no effect. Thaddeus bites the palm of my hand, making me drop him at a sudden moment. He begins to run towards Violet, which makes me fume with more and more rage, even to the point of gripping and breaking his leg, pulling him towards me, and pelting him into a wall.
"Tate?" Violet softly cries out. She knows, doesn't she? She has to know it's me. I ignore her voice, for now. The way she stares at me though; thankful, but still spooked, I have to stop this now.
Thaddeus manages to get to his feet, clearly concussed from the impact against the wall, but he still wants to fight, and I'm getting sick of fighting. He launches at me again, allowing me to easily catch him up the head, and begin to squeeze once again. I squeeze tighter this time, even screaming at the feeling of the strength in my hands. I feel his neck snap in an instant, and his head begins to concave inwards, so I stop, he's dead. The fight is over.

I drop his body onto the ground, then look over at the still terrified Violet. Violet begins to crawl, almost falling down the steps of the attic, and in a flash moment, I appear and catch her by the hand. She begins to panic, clearly unsure as to what to do, I need to calm her down.
"Still not used to being a ghost, huh?" I say, staring directly into her hazel eyes. "Neither."
"Tate?" Violet softly says like she can't believe her eyes. "Is it you?"
"Will you be disappointed, or slap me in the face, if I say no?" I ask her, smiling for the first time in months.
"No, and yes," she states, her voice as soft as it was when I left.
"It's me."
She slaps me in the face, as hard as she can, but then, she hugs me, digging her head right into my still bloody shoulder as she touches for the first time in months. It feels good, so good I feel like I'm about to cry, like my broken heart, was just fixed in a matter of seconds. Violet Harmon, why the fuck did I wait this long to come back to you?

"Where have you been, baby?" Violet cries out, sobbing as I try my hardest to wipe the tears away. "I've been so worried about you."
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Violet," I say, feeling tears shed behind the locks of my hair. "I couldn't be a danger to you again, I just, I couldn't. I love you so much, but I'm not well, not myself, I'm so sorry."
"I love you so much, come back to me, please."
"I don't know, Vi-"
"Tate. Please."
"Let's go then before Thaddeus wakes up."
"Thank you, my love."