Our Love Is Tainted

Chapter 10: Rubbery Madness

My mind is made of rubber, it has to be, otherwise, it wouldn't be melting in my skull. Everything doesn't seem right; the house, being myself again, Ben's rather of speaking to me, nothing seems right. I can't seem to find myself, not even with Violet. It seems that I'm trapped, trapped in the never-ending maze that is my mind, my life, and the war that I can't seem to fight my way out of. It used to simple, finding my way out of the sadness; you go talk to someone, and you expect to get the advice you paid for. Constance always had a way with the psychologist, but this is different, I'm straight up losing my god damn fucking mind. Even after death, I still haven't found my way out of the war inside of my head, if only it was that god damn simple, but it's not, it's FUCKEN NOT! I stare down the abyss of the hallway, watching as it begins to become, further away. The hallways begin to stretch out for miles, making my eyes dilate and my head spin. That's when I begin to hear things; gunshots make me jump, the sound of bones breaking makes me shake, and the sound of walls cracking makes me terrified.

I stare around at the walls, but they're fine, nothing's wrong with them. The more I walk around, the more hallucinations begin to flood my mind. I blink, and as soon as I open my eyes again, I'm back in the hall of my old school, Westfield High, the high school I hated so much.
"Tate?! Tate what are you doing?!" A female voice scream.
"Hey, that's enough," I hear Kyle Greenwell say, before hearing another gunshot.
"Tate! NO!" Another female voice screams.
"You're pathetic, a piece of shit, Tate!" A male voice says.
"You are nothing," I hear the cocksucker say.
So many voices fly around in my head, I can't seem to escape it all, it's like they're strangling me. It's overwhelming, disrupting, destructive, I hate it. That's when I hear a specific voice, one I could point out if my life depended on it; it's Violet's.
"You need to pay for what you've done."

I stare down the hall, and that's when I see him, Taint standing at the end of the hall, wearing the same black clothes in my dreams, with the same tattoos that surround his body. I stare at my own hands; the tattoos have disappeared, there no longer on me. Taint stares at me with his dark eyes, smirking at me, making me wonder what he wants.
"What do you want for me?" I ask, watching as he takes steps towards me.
"Hmmm, I don't know, Tate. You think you bring me back?" He pauses, staring right through me. "ANSWER ME!"
"No."
"You think you can find I way to tear me from your mind, give me my own body?!"
"No! SHUT UP!" I scream.
"No?! I didn't fucking think so, you're useless you know that you're the worst person on this planet."
"No, I'm not," I snarl.
"You. Useless. Arrogant. Feeble. Disgusting. Rapist. Murderer. Killer. Psychopath."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I scream, curling up to a ball and crying in a corner of the hall. Taint laughs at me, standing right in front of me as he shows his dominance, maybe I am crazy, this madness in me is proving it.
"I'm okay, I'm okay," I say to myself.
This is what he wanted the entire time, he wanted to feel this way, tear my mind apart so he can take over all over again. He's won, again, and there's literally nothing I can do about it.
"I'll see you soon, Tate."

Tate has finally gone to see my dad, I'd be glad if I knew for sure whether or that is a good or bad thing, after the things I've heard my dad say about Tate, it's pretty fucking hard to read whether or not he actually wants to help him. I stare at the black rose Tate had left for me before slipping away, it's beautiful, and this time, it's not painted black, it's a naturally black rose, where did he get it from? He couldn't have slipped out because he hasn't been Halloween since he disappeared, so that's out of the picture. The possibilities are slim, perverted in a way like he literally had no way to escape the bullshit that covered his mind. I don't know how he got it, but it's beautiful, nearly as beautiful as he is, and I can't help but smile every time I stare at it. I stand up, hearing a sudden thump on the ground, but that wasn't me, it couldn't have been, right? I stare at my door, hearing mumbling from the other side of it, some sort of moaning and cooing. I walk towards the door, and the mumbling turns to panicked sounding screeches, and that makes me nearly leap outside of my room.

I stare at the edge of the stares, it's Tate, curled up in a ball, crying to himself. I listen out to him, and I hear his words. "I'm crazy", the only words coming out of his mouth, over and over again. Nothing prepared for seeing him like this, I have to calm him down. I take small steps towards him, bringing my hand close to his, and at first touch, he's just startled more, jumping as his eyes managed to peer at me through all of those tears. He stares me down aimlessly, making me choke on the emotions going on inside of my heart, just looking at him is destroying me.
"Make it stop, Violet, please!"
I sit down next to him, crying as I cuddle up to him. He cries into my shoulder; his dark tattooed eyes are soaked, I don't think I've ever seen someone cry this much since my mom miscarried, and it's painful.
"It's okay, Tate. Just breathe, slowly, I'm right here with you, and I'm not going anywhere. We're forever, Tate, and we always will be."
"I'm so sorry, I'm such a mess, I-"
"Don't, Tate, it's okay. I'm going to look after you, okay? Nothing will stop me, not my dad, not this house, not even Taint can stop me, you understand?" I ask him, making sure he knows what I'm saying.
"Alright, I- I- I love you."

I brush his tattooed cheek with my hand, taking his golden locks from his eyes, revealing the abyss of the brown in his gorgeous eyes. Even when they're full of tears, his eyes are the most chocolate things I have ever seen in my god damn life, beautiful, like a paradise. I kiss his cheek, feeling the heat from his now burning skin, he's clearly blushing. That's when he grips my wrist again, tighter than expected.
"I don't want to hurt you," he says, starring right into me.
But he won't, I know he won't, he can't, he won't let himself. Tate is the sweetest person in the god damn world, and the fact that he's been broken over and over again by a simple voice in his head breaks me.
"Everything will be okay, Tate."
"I really hope so," he gasps, making me feel his skin become colder.
Jesus Christ, Tate, what am I going to do with you? I have to speak to the others.