Therapy (Jalex)

Session 8

Patient: Alexander William Gaskarth

Notes: less angry, but still extremely depressed

-Dr. Bassam Barakat

-

"'Ice cream makes you pretty,'" Jack quoted from the phrase on the wall as he licked the ball of rocky road sitting atop the waffle cone. "I dunno about that, but it sure makes me happy!"

I scraped my teeth against my dino egg ice cream. My teeth sunk into the cold substance, and I flinched as the cold stabbed at my nerves.

"Shit!" I hissed, sucking my stinging, frozen teeth. Jack's eyes widened. "Er, sorry."

Jack laughed his loud, joyous laugh. "It's fine," he assured me, lowering his voice. "I swear quite a fucking lot too."

I smiled and nodded. Jack was starting to grow on me. Just a little. We still weren't friends in my mind, but he wasn't terrible.

He checked his phone. "Oh, my brother's here!" he announced. "We can eat the rest of the ice cream in his car." We rose from our chairs and headed out across the street, the bell on the door jingling behind us.

"Real talk though, one thing about my brother," Jack warned as we were halfway across the road, " is that he plays a lot of Blink in his car."

I crunched down on my cone. "That's fine. I kind of like Blink-182."

"You do?" His eyes brightened and he grinned with bits of waffle cone in his teeth. "Even better!"

Once we crossed the road, I spotted Jack's brother leaning against his car. Joe was definitely a Barakat, but the two brothers didn't look astoundingly similar. They shared the same eyes, eyebrows, and a similar mouth, but I could tell that Jack got more of his father's genes, and I only assumed that Joe took more from his mother.

"Hi, Joe!" Jack called, rushing up to his brother with me in tow. "Alex needs a ride, so can we drive him home?"

"Uh... Sure, yeah," Joe replied, nodding. "Nice to finally meet you, Alex."

"Finally?"

"Let's go!" Jack interrupted my question and dragged me to the backseat. The interior of the car was littered with soda cans, an assortment of guitar picks, and a few plastic bags. As soon as Joe's butt met the seat, he punched a button and Blink-182's All The Small Things started to play. As Joe drove, he tapped the beat on the steering wheel, and Jack mimicked playing the guitar in the backseat next to me, miming riffs and curling his fingers in weird chord shapes, all while consuming his ice cream, which I never thought was possible.

"So, Alex," began Joe, glancing at us in the rear view mirror, "where do you live?"

"First right on Fairway, third house on the left," I replied robotically, as this was what my parents trained me to say when I was little. The last of my cone when into my mouth, the pointed bit that still held some melting ice cream, and it gushed in my mouth, making me smile. I loved doing that.

"Cool." Jack's older brother cranked up the radio and tapped louder. "You like Blink?"

"Yeah," I answered, nodding. "Love 'em."

"No kidding. Alex, you are officially my favorite out of all of Jack's friends." He grinned into the rear view mirror. They Barakat brothers had the same smile.

I nodded politely and whispered a thanks. In some ways, Joe reminded me of Tom. They were both carefree and rocker, but the difference was that Tom was a little angrier in his last few months. It was like he was the older brother that I didn't have anymore.

"She left me roses by the stairs,

surprises let me know she cares," yelled Jack along with the surfer vocals, suddenly snapping me out of my self pity. "Come on, Alex, sing!"

"Nah, I'm fine," I said, shaking my head no.

"Please?" he begged, pulling the same puppy dog eyes he did to get me to agree to ice cream. I sighed reluctantly. But thankfully, the actual lyrics ended, and the scat started.

"Nananananananananananananananananananana," I droned, grateful for the perfect timing.

"Man, you got lucky," Jack complained. "But don't worry, I'll make you sing for real one day!"

"Mhmm."

The thing was, I hadn't actually sung since Tom died. He always wanted me to be a singer in a band and whatnot, and I did too. But my dream died alongside him. I haven't uttered a single note since. Yeah, I missed singing more than I ever thought I would, but I felt expected to, like it was a vigil for Tom. But I didn't know how long this vigil would last.

"Hey, Alex!" Jack called, snapping me out of my thoughts. "We're here."

My eyes darted to the window. My house loomed over us, and my throat clenched. I didn't want to go home anymore. Seeing the house reminded me of everything bad that had happened of late, and I really didn't want to return. But, Jack's brother had driven me home, so I opened the door and stepped out of the car.

"Hey, Alex," Jack said to me as I was about to close the door, "I'll text you."

"Okay- Wait, do you even have my number?" I was bewildered. This was no TV show where everyone magically had each other's numbers. I didn't recall ever giving Jack my phone number.

"I'll check your patient files." Jack winked cheekily, and with that, Joe drove off, leaving me in the dust, Blink-182 blaring into the distance.