Therapy (Jalex)

Session 18

Patient: Alexander William Gaskarth

Notes: reckless, teenage angst?

-Dr. Bassam Barakat

-

I spent the night with Jack. When the nurses came, I was curled up in the arm chair next to Jack's cot, but in the middle of the night, I had felt lonely, so I went and climbed next to Jack and cuddled.

"Good night, Lexy," Jack had cooed, and I then snuggled as close as I could manage without hurting him.

"G'night," I had murmured before drifting off to sleep.

Dreams. I had dreams that night.

I was with Jack. We were in his room, jamming out to an unknown song. I didn't know how on earth we weren't being yelled at or getting complaints, because guitar was all I heard. Our two guitars were amped, but for some reason the sound amplified to a crazy loud volume. I felt it in my bones, and I had a feeling that I would go deaf with a few hours of this.

"Alex!" Tom was in my dream. He was alive. He was yelling, but the guitars were too loud. I could barely hear him.

"Tell me you love me, Jack!" I shouted, ignoring Tom.

"I love you!" Jack screamed, completely drowning out Tom. I smiled, but Tom was still trying to raise his voice loud enough.

"Again!" I yelled.

"I love you!" Jack howled, hitting all six strings of his guitar with a blast that evaporated Tom, but I didn't care. The blast left me breathless, and I gasped for air, staring at my boyfriend in wonder and need.

"I love you," said a voice from reality. I opened my eyes. Jack was looking at me thoughtfully. His large doe eyes studied me carefully, and I smiled softly.

"I love you more," I whispered. "More than anything."

"I doubt it," Jack chuckled. "What time is it?"

I slid my hand in my pocket to pull out my phone. I clicked the button to check the time. It was 10:42 in the morning, and there were 27 missed calls from my parents, and an entire thread of texts from my mother.

Mothership👽: Alex, where are you?

Mothership👽: Answer me!

Mothership👽: Alexander William Gaskarth!

Mothership👽: Where are you?

Mothership👽: Call me back right now.

"10:42..." I replied quietly. "I should probably get going."

"Alright," Jack said. "I'll text you! ...You know, when I can actually text."

I got off of the bed and looked down at my broken boyfriend. My heart pulled, and I sighed.

"Okay. I love you, Jacky."

"I love you more."

I threw him one last longing glance before forcing myself out.

When I got home, my parents freaked out, to say the least.

As soon as I opened the door, my mom and dad jumped up from the base of stairs, where they had been sitting. The dark circles under their eyes told me that they'd probably been waiting all night. Whoops.

"Alexander Gaskarth, where have you been all night?" demanded my mother. Her loud volume scared me, but it was everything I had been expecting. After all, I did just spend the night at the hospital without telling them.

"The hospital," I replied curtly, clearly unfazed. Nothing could keep me from Jack. He was all I needed.

"And you didn't tell us?!" she shrieked.

I groaned inwardly. Screaming Mom was an absolutely irritating Mom. My father patted her shoulder.

"Calm down, Isobel," he said. "Jack was hurt."

"But he didn't have the decency to tell us that he was staying overnight!" Mom screamed. "You've become so reckless, Alex, I don't know what to say! Why would you stay overnight at a hospital? You could catch a disease!"

"Then don't say a thing at all!" I yelled, fed up. I was so done with this. Couldn't she see that I was in love with Jack? "You would do the same if it was Dad! You did the same when it was Tom!"

"Don't you dare bring him up!" My mom's face was red now, and her fists were balled. In other words, she was pissed. I tensed up my body just in case she tried to hit me.

"Tom can drink too much and be a mess but I can't stay in the hospital overnight when my boyfriend is hurt?!"

"Alex, go to your room now!" she screamed, punching the wall.

"Mom, calm the fuck down!" I yelled back, storming up the stairs, making sure to slam my feet down extra hard. My heels were sore by the time I got to my room, and I slammed the door with all my strength. The walls shuddered at the impact.

My hand searched under my bed to find the half empty vodka bottle. It closed around the bottle and I swiped it back and cuddled the bottle around my chest. Tears started to stream down my face, and I yanked the bottle open. The liquid poured down my throat, and my head started to spin after a few seconds of nonstop downing the alcohol. I couldn't stop, and I didn't pause for a breath.

My vision blurred and my head swam as I downed the fiery liquid in one collective gulp. All the colors blended together before my eyes in a kaleidoscope of blurriness before it all went black.