Golden Heart n.s

33. Heart Strings

does this count as a double update because it's an hour before a full 24 hours

Only because it's rather short and probably a little boring (my apologies)

So here you go!!!!

NIALL

"Sometimes I have the strangest feeling about you. Especially when you are near me as you are now. It feels as though I had a string tied here under my left rib where my heart is, tightly knotted to you in a similar fashion. And when you go, I am afraid that this cord will be snapped, and I shall bleed inwardly."
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Write down an 800 word reflection about this.

I can't help but to scoff softly under my breath as my eyes gaze the question repeatedly. What kind of question is that??

Isn't it funny how this suits my exact situation at the moment.

How ironic.

Because, how the fuck am I supposed to write 800 words about that? That feeling sucks, period. What else do they bloody need to know?

Funny how the world works. The heavens must love me so much to punish me like this. Punish me, forcing me to think about him when all I've done these last four days is trying my best to do the complete opposite.

I sigh, glancing at the clock to see that I only have about half an hour left before my time is up. I pick up my pen, before simply letting my hands and heart take over, spilling every single emotion I've been bottling up onto the thin lines.

This string, is the power of love. It brings hope, it heals shattered hearts. The string, thin, fragile, but at the same time, so strong.

We were all born to love, no matter the roughness, no matter the hardship, because with true love, life is beautiful. Loving someone may come at the cost of terrible heartache, pain and suffering. But all in all, the love shown through kind deeds or words, tender touches, thoughtful actions, truthfulness, trustworthiness and self-sacrifice, is able to heal all the pain. Within that definition of love, lies true passion.

If that string— that same string that has always kept my heart tied, snaps, it feels like every part of me just falls apart. That's the thing; at times, the steps towards love can cause pain, because if it's the same person who has tied the string around my heart, is the one to snap it, it's like a piece of me is gone and he makes it impossible to put myself back together.

But it's okay. Because sometimes, it's okay to snap and break. Just just like a glow stick, we need to break before we shine. And even with how many times I may break, I always find myself coming back around to him. Why? Because I can see who he really is. I can see right to his core and I still love him unconditionally. What I see in him, is beauty under damage, a spirit caged up yet strong, life surging for liberty, away from judgement, looking for acceptance and love. I fell for his entire being, for his soul, his heart; not the things he has done, not the string that he tied around my heart.

I drop the pen down on the table, hiding my face in my hands as the tears start rolling like water from a dam, spilling down my cheeks. I feel the muscles of my chin trembling, and I look towards the window on my left, as if the light could soothe me. It doesn't.

I hate this. I hate being away from him. I hate how he hasn't even tried to talk to me. I hate how I have to see his stupid beautiful face during track practice, only causing me more pain than anything. I hate how my entire being craves to be with him, to hear his voice, to smell his scent, to feel his touch, to kiss him, to hold him, everything, and yet, I can't because my stupid self still can't look pass what he has done in the past. It's all my doing.